20:20 <Crion> The itinerary begins to fill up...a little bit. You're still on your own clock, at the Wherehouse. Spring usually has a fun social calendar full of street parties, community outreach, awkward standoffs with the cops (these stop being standoffs in Summer, sometimes), and all the other good stuff you'd expect from the Gardeners of Joy and the young party-heads. Not so in 2020. The pandemic has 20:20 <Crion> put paid to that; even those of you not affected by mortal disease are being advised to abide by plague regulations, both for what Lister sometimes calls your Mask-erade (he makes sure to spell it like that, he's not going to use the same exact term) and because you're just not sure yet whether you can be spreaders even while immune. 20:21 <Crion> That's a question for the mages, who are working on it, but are busy with other stuff at the moment. They're convinced this is some kind of Seers bioweapon. 20:21 <Crion> That's "of the Throne," not "of the mall." 20:23 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's not sure why the Seers would want to paralyze the global economy and kill a bunch of old people... but then maybe that's why Stewart didn't Awaken. 20:25 <banana> It's weird to have the closed markets just outside our Earth-side door. Lexington Market isn't totally deserted - a few stallholders are struggling by doing deliveries or taking the opportunity to renovate - but there are no crowds and a lot of metal shutters. Empty rows and aisles between empty set-outs that should be sandwiches, beads and used books. 20:26 <Crion> Unsurprisingly, that's somewhat the orthodox view in the local Consilium -- Jesuit at least has been urging calm on that front, with that reasoning. But they're still reeling from the last four years being allowed to go as they did by the Seers. There have been some whispers among the more heterodox that maybe the L'Cheeto Orange...is an agent of the Pentacle. 20:26 <Crion> More sober dissenters, of course, blame the vampires. 20:26 <Crion> As they always do. 20:30 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's kind of liking having his nights back a bit - there's less Lord Saging to do since he was Entitled, thanks to the lockdown. He did pass the Spring Queen's request on up the ladder, both to Kingsley and to Rose, to see what they thought about it. 20:33 <Crion> Kingsley wants to have a meeting about it, but it was clear from the communication it was a "let's plan out how this is going to happen and keep me in the loop" meeting, not the "let's decide if you're allowed" type. Rose thinks it all sounds horrid and is glad to be staying in Baltimore. 20:33 <VoxPVoxD> Extremely rational responses, just as Stewart expected. That's why we're the best Court. 20:34 <Crion> The Freehold is, for the most part, still open for business -- and so is the houseboat industry, stocked as it is by weirdos, freaks, and small businessmen (but we repeat ourselves). 20:35 <Crion> By the narrator's count, the Wherehouse has a houseboat of some kind and a cold iron weapon of some sort to look into, respectively. 20:37 <CBN> By Tony's count, he has 0 boats, which must be corrected. 20:37 <dammitwho> Heck yes. Maggie has some blueprints drawn up. 20:38 <Crion> Well, no time like the present, which is the last week of March. 20:40 <banana> Well, Melanie's not getting work done - her whole cohort is complaining of unproductivity, now that they're forced to try and produce theses from home as opposed to merely doing so by preference. The empty urban environment lends itself to poetry but not philosophy. So she'll help out anyone who needs boats, swords, etc - what's the plan? 20:42 <Crion> Detective Serrato Colt is ready with an unmarked police for Maggie and Melanie at their earliest convenience. 20:43 <Crion> Could try to sugarcoat that but, you know. Cops. 20:43 <Crion> As far as boats go, there's a whole wide world of boat hunting out there to do. Onus is on Tony to get looking. Where's he been trying? 20:43 <VoxPVoxD> Before whatever meets Tony's setting up, Stewart's gonna ask him: "So, uh, to what extent are you a haggler by nature?" 20:44 <dammitwho> Well, at least it's unmarked. Phew. She's ready to go when Melanie is. 20:45 <CBN> Tony will respond in his typically jovial and open manner: "Haggling? That seems so...garage sale-y. And mean. I don't want to be mean." 20:45 <Crion> *unmarked police van 20:46 <CBN> His boat search has itself been a victim of lockdown restrictions; you can't really use library computers when every library has moved to book drop-off only (and is well on the way to furloughing most of its staff, probably). And no one puts up notifications on bulletin boards anymore in community centers (which are also closed). 20:46 <banana> "Hey, so, are you commissioning this guy for like a samurai sword? Or is it going to be some kind of robot arm?" 20:47 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Okay, cool. I feel the same way. I just wanted to make sure we weren't walking into a situation where I was supposed to play hardball instead of just paying the guy what he asks for. Cause I am... not good at that." 20:48 <banana> How's Colt doing, anyway? 20:50 <CBN> Tony: "The only time I've even done any of that was when my dad and I went looking for my first car, and boats don't have tires to kick and say 'oo, that feels a lil soft. Probably the suspension, better knock a few hundo off there, chief.' do they?" 20:51 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I'm sure there's some boat equivalent. Search me what it is though." 20:51 <Crion> He seems fine. Not much worse for the wear since the lockdown started; maybe a smiling a bit more than the last time Melanie saw him, which was at Prom. Many reasons not to smile there for a Summer enforcer, obviously. He's dressed in a kind of nineties-dirtbag plainclothes cop deal with a too-colorful button up shirt under a long coat with black jeans, and his badge on a neck lanyard. Wearing 20:51 <Crion> his usual John Lennon tiny glasses. 20:52 <CBN> Tony: "Dumb question, where do people buy boats now? I feel like I can't just go down to the...pier? Harbor? Boat place...? And buy one like a used car." 20:52 <Crion> "Ladies. Melanie. Maggie. Please, get in." 20:52 <Crion> This is a van for cops, not for prisoner transport, so the back is merely kind of shitty bus-style seating, rather than a cage. 20:53 <banana> After checking theatrically for the supposed ladies, we do. "How did you get to know a blacksmith, detective? In the third millenium AD." 20:54 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Can't put a cold iron robot arm on, not if you wanna feel good after. Look at this." She lets Melanie see her plans, which seem to illustrate an oversized hand wrench, the kind you'd use if you were a giant adjusting bolts on a battleship. Oddly, the wrench's head has a frame or rack drilled through it, holding two (relatively) small cylinders on either side, with a bit of 20:54 <dammitwho> machinery connecting them to a squeeze lever down by the wrench's handle. 20:54 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Well, it's like guns, right? Or cars. You buy em at a trade show, you buy em from a dealer, or you buy em off a guy with an ad up." 20:55 <CBN> Tony: "Oh shit! Is that what boat shows are? People talk about them but I thought they were just a thing on TV." 20:56 <Crion> He laughs. "Well, he was a criminal, of course. Involved in moving dope. With the werewolves, I think. Werewolf-adjacent? I don't work drugs. I work missing persons and major crimes. So an understanding was possible." 20:56 <Crion> Colt: "Did Smote tell you the rules?" 20:56 <banana> "Ohhh." The technical drawing makes very little sense to Melanie, although it strikes her as a weapon a Looney Tunes character would happily use. 20:57 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah, although I doubt there are gonna be any boat shows for a while. And dealerships are probably closed for the forseeable, too. We could dig around on Craigslist, or we could see if anyone we know is selling? Or knows anyone who's selling?" 20:58 <CBN> Tony: "Craig's List?" Distinctly said as two words, possessive. "Is that a circular in the mail, like a catalog?" 20:59 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "It's like the internet version of the want ads, if you remember those. Stuff for sale, jobs, personals." 20:59 <trenchfoot> Nels: "No, this guy named Craig puts it online. I found him earlier when I was looking at guitars." She sort of glides into the conversation like it wasn't already in progress. 20:59 <VoxPVoxD> "Apartments and stuff is another big one." 21:00 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Nope!" 21:00 <CBN> Tony: "Oh nice! You can get on the line from the Wherehouse, right? I haven't really been on since all the libraries started closing." 21:00 <Crion> Colt: "The rules are:" And here he ticks his fingers. "Do not talk about Freehold business. Do not talk about supernatural business. Do not talk about the Pittsburgh Steelers." 21:01 <Crion> "Barbaddos hates the Pittsburgh Steelers. We'll never get out of there if he gets started on them." 21:02 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah. The connection's kinda spotty but that won't be a problem here." 21:04 <CBN> Tony: "Could you? I want...He thinks for a second, consulting a mental list long-refined by now. "House boat, sleeps at least six, small kitchen, and it's not a deal-breaker but if it's got one of those little swivelly chairs mounted on the side for fishing off of it would be extremely cool beans." 21:04 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Do you have to buy a captain's hat or does that come with the boat?" 21:05 <trenchfoot> "It seems like it should come with the boat, but I've been frequently disappointed with things that 'should' be true." 21:05 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I think if you're just buying off some guy it's significantly more likely to come with a hat." 21:05 <CBN> Tony: "I basically have to wear this hat everywhere already, so I'm leaving it to Steve to see what he shows up with, hat-wise." 21:05 <VoxPVoxD> "Steve, of course, needs some kind of Napoleonic grand admiral hat." 21:07 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Hadn't planned on bringing up Pittsburgh at all, really." 21:07 <trenchfoot> Nels: "A bicorn hat. There's no way to make them not look goofy on a person, but maybe Steve could pull it off?" 21:08 <trenchfoot> bicorne* 21:08 <CBN> Tony: "The thing I'm most concerned about is what happens if regular geese showup." 21:08 <banana> Melanie: "Why would we talk about the steelers? They haven't been contenders since before - I mean for like ten years." 21:08 <banana> *Steelers 21:08 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Well, obviously Steve will impress them. In one sense or another." 21:08 <CBN> Tony: "He's gotta know they exist, right?" 21:09 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Sure. I dunno if he's ever met one. Hobs don't do so good outside the Hedge, and I can't imagine real birds do well inside it." 21:10 <CBN> Tony: "The worst possible outcome is regular birds turn into hobs if they come back with us on the boat, so that's something I wanna keep an eye out for. Because one Steve is great..."He looks over both shoulders, pauses, and lowers his voice. "But two, and I'm remembering I have a shotgun." 21:12 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I'd anticipate a Galaxy Quest situation moreso than a Son of Steve situation." 21:12 <trenchfoot> Nels: "That's--" She considers. "We've got space around the Wherehouse if any of them are so inclined?" 21:12 <Crion> Colt: "How they perform isn't what is at issue. What is at issue is his ability to remember things that upset him, and turn them into grudges which bloom, and which he puts out on his windowsill in the sunlight, examining them from every angle, pruning them. He waters his hatreds, you see. So they will grow." He looks at both of them. "And that is why we keep him separate from Court and 21:12 <Crion> Freehold business." 21:12 <Crion> "Therefore the rules." 21:13 <banana> Melanie: "So we don't have to come up with some dodge to explain to the guy why we want cold iron, we just just have to avoid.. familiarity." 21:14 <Crion> "Yes. Of course, if you're low on Glamour...well, Summer enjoys his company for multiple reasons." 21:19 <Crion> The drive is mostly uneventful unless you have questions; Colt doesn't talk much and plays music off a Chinese off-brand mp3 player hooked into one of those tape deck adapters with a fake cassette tape. Salsa and Latin instrumental. 21:19 <banana> You've gotta learn to let things go, they say. Melanie hopes there's no time limit on the lesson. 21:20 <Crion> He's heading out onto the beltway, then up into Baltimore County. 21:28 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart sets Tony up on his laptop in the Wherehouse, with a USB mouse because making a baby boomer work a trackpad is abusive. Shows him how to search the boat listings on Craigslist. 21:29 <trenchfoot> Wait, they have those? 21:30 <Crion> He takes them through the exurbs, then some expensive-looking suburbs, then some older, meaner, closer to the ground houses, with half-dirt lawns and sad old trees, backing up to listless forest. It's one of the worst times of the year to be out here, of course; everything's dead and wet and hasn't grown back in yet. But there's just something desolate about the place -- the shooting range 21:30 <Crion> Stewart went to had it too, but not as much as this -- that makes it feel like it should be further out into Appalachia. 21:31 <Crion> Which brings them to the garage-forge of John Taylor Barbaddos, the bitter custom-order smith of Baltimore County. Well, one of them, anyway. Probably not even one of the better known ones. 21:33 <Crion> For reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPCmQ27C1tM 21:37 <Crion> He's a small but intense man of uncertain extraction with angry eyes and scraggly facial hair. And a wallet chain, and an enormous blunt. And a sword that looks like it was made from a girder leaning against the back wall. Maggie might have seen one like it before, if Stewart was very diligent in his video game schooling. 21:39 <dammitwho> Neat! 21:39 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Hi!" 21:40 <Crion> He sort of nod-glares at them. "Hey." He says something in Spanish to Colt; Colt says something testy back. Do either Maggie or Melanie speak the language? 21:41 <banana> Melanie doesn't, and it's a lot easier to joke about strange angry men with unusual schools than it is to actually meet them. She hangs back. 21:41 <banana> unusual skills 21:42 <dammitwho> Nope! 21:45 <Crion> He sort of sighs and unstraps his toolbelt, which has a hammer and the world's sickest, edgiest utility knife (complete with his personal sigil in the hilt and red grips) in it among other things, and crosses his arms. "You the customer? You can pay?" Colt sighs but isn't about to step on Maggie's toes if she wants to field this rather than have the detective step in. 21:46 <dammitwho> Maggie, cheerfully: "That's right! Got what I want right here." She waves her rolled up plans. Is he wearing cool eye protection aviators? 21:48 <Crion> Yes; in fact, they're the kind that have little flip-down sunshields, except his are clearly like, uparmored for working a forge. He frowns as he flips them up to examine them through the normal lenses. 21:49 <banana> This part of the country resents the city, our incursion. It reminds Melanie of something, but she forgets what. 21:51 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Cool glasses. Where'd you get 'em?" 21:51 <CBN> Tony, pointing at the screen. "What about this one? 'Almost new', 'low mileage'---is that a thing with boats? 'Motivated seller' hey that sounds good." 21:52 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Contact 'Chuck LeBaron', it says." 21:53 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Motivated seller is a fun way to phrase 'I can no longer afford a boat.'" 21:53 <trenchfoot> Or "I stole this boat and need it gone as soon as possible. But that's less likely. 21:53 <CBN> Tony nods at Nels. "That sounds really good." 21:55 <Crion> Distracted by intense scrutiny: "Online. I can refer you to them, they're ballistic glass -- got a promo code..." 21:57 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Where were you planning to store this? Here? Because there isn't a dock, yet." 21:57 <Crion> After a moment: "So I get what most of this is. But are these...rockets?" 21:57 <CBN> Tony: "Uhhhh. Uh. Um." 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We can spin one here, or we can rent space in a marina in the city." 21:58 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Here's better." 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> "The only risk with doing it here is, you know. The boat's gonna turn into a token. But maybe that's what we want." 21:58 <CBN> Tony: "Yeah, I at least get what's going on here." 21:59 <CBN> Tony: "And I guess if it's down to becoming a token or not, I think if it's over here more than it's over there, it keeps it from becoming something even worse. Taxable property." 21:59 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Will Steve get a captain's hat? Or does he already have one?" 21:59 <CBN> Tony assumes there's boat taxes. He's not going to do the research and neither am I, dear reader. 21:59 <trenchfoot> "Maybe an admiral's hat. I don't know if that's a thing." 21:59 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart snorts. "Oh man, yeah. There's taxes, insurance, certifications..." 21:59 <CBN> Tony: "If he doesn't, I have faith he will, and if he does, I'm sure it's spectacular." 22:00 <VoxPVoxD> "I've got documents you can look at, or I can just take care of 'em." 22:00 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Ooh! Have you given a thought to the name? Boats get names!" 22:02 <CBN> Tony: "I figure it's like a baby or a dog, you name it like what it looks like when you see it." 22:03 <trenchfoot> "Yeah, but you've got to have something in mind beforehand." 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Nah, we can vibe it." 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> "Decent odds the boat is going to want to change its own name once it becomes sentient, anyway." 22:03 <trenchfoot> "Vibe...?" 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> "Vibration. Energy. Feeling." 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> "Intuition." 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> "Being a flake." 22:05 <CBN> Tony: "I wonder if you can airbrush a wizard fighting a dragon on the side of a boat like you can a van..." 22:06 <Crion> Barbaddos: "I can get you the body of the wrench, the fittings you want on the wrench, the screws to adjust the fittings...all of that's just fine. If these are what I think they are, though, you're gonna have to order them special. Or, I dunno. Steal them from the bomb squad or some shit?" 22:06 <Crion> Colt: "What now?" 22:06 <Crion> He perked up at 'bomb squad' and wandered over. 22:07 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "You for sure can. I've seen boats with, like, marlins and swordfish and sharks painted on 'em." 22:07 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I think you could? It's just a question of whether you should." She's not about to tell Tony what he can or cannot do with a boat. 22:07 <Crion> Barbaddos: "She's looking to make something like they use to stop screw-strikers on bombs. Except you beat people with it." 22:07 <Crion> To Maggie: "I mean I assume that's the use case. I don't want to ask too many questions. Possessing this looks like it'll be a felony when it's put together." 22:07 <CBN> Tony, to himself: "Hell yeah." 22:09 <Crion> Chuck LeBaron has an e-mail address and a phone number listed; he's probably old enough to be amenable to talking on the phone, given that he's of an age to go by 'Chuck.' 22:09 <CBN> And Tony has a functioning cellular phone! This will probably be the third or fourth number he ever calls with it. And so he does. 22:12 <Crion> On the third ring: "Yeah what!" Pause, but not long enough for him to actually be waiting for an answer, just an indication that he briefly forgot something. "It's Chuck!" 22:12 <CBN> Tony: "Hello Chuck! I'm calling about your boat listing on the Craig's List?" 22:14 <Crion> "Aw yeah son hell yeah! Damn! Was beginning to think-- well who am I speaking with!" 22:16 <CBN> Tony: "Oh sorry! This is Tony, Tony Bowen. I'm hoping to buy a boat before summer and yours looked pretty great. Is it still for sale?" 22:21 <Crion> "Well hell's bells yes it is! Bowen. That's a good strong name. Sorry for cursing son you know how the Lord can take you! Would you like to come down and take a look at 'er? Got her at a private dock right now so none of this lock--down non--sense need apply." 22:22 <dammitwho> Maggie chuckles: "Don't worry about that part." 22:22 <CBN> Tony: "Yes sir, that would be great!" He covers the phone for a second and hollers over to Stewart and Nels, "You guys wanna go take a look at the boat?" 22:22 <VoxPVoxD> "Sure." Mostly he wants to meet Chuck. 22:23 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Sure!" Mostly she wants to see a boat. 22:24 <CBN> Tony, to the phone again: "I'm free all afternoon today, really all tomorrow too," Little laugh. "Really whenever works for you." 22:24 <Crion> Barbaddos grins: "Well, now I'm interested." Colt, on the other hand, looks slightly worried. 22:25 <Crion> Chuck: "Well I ain't doing anything else this afternoon! Come on down to--" He gives a private pier address well off the hustle and bustle of the Inner Harbor proper, but in the well-to-do Rich Boater section south of there. 22:26 <VoxPVoxD> Hopefully he doesn't say anything to Nels that makes her kick his ass. 22:26 <banana> So they're not actually explosive, but.. something you can use so the wrench can grip bombs?? Or maybe literal fire. Maggie knows what she's doing, but maybe it'd be nice if someone else did too. 22:27 <CBN> Tony: "Will do, we'll see you soon!" Tony hangs up. "Seems like a nice guy. We're gonna get a boat!" 22:28 <Crion> Barbaddos: "When do you need it by?" 22:28 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Hell yeah. I'll get the car." 22:28 <trenchfoot> Nels: "How many people is he expecting there? Because we make kind of a weird crew." 22:28 <CBN> Tony: "Thank you! He's got it on a private dock and everything. What's a good lie for where we're going to store it, 'at home on our private dock too'?" 22:29 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah. Be vague on specifics. You don't want to cook up an elaborate lie that ends up having details he can hook onto." 22:30 <VoxPVoxD> "That's how you end up having to make small talk about a place you've never actually been." 22:30 <CBN> Tony: "I said 'we' in there at least once, so more than me. But also saying, 'hey this is my roommate who is also a popular internet streamer, he will be purchasing the boat, and here is our ride-along musician friend.' might be weird..." 22:30 <CBN> Tony: "I'll do the talking and try to do as little of it as possible, that sound good?" 22:31 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I got your back. If you need bailing out, just signal." 22:31 <CBN> Tony gives a thumbs-up. 22:31 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Should I start spinning up the dock? I don't know a lot of shanties but I could start." 22:32 <CBN> Tony: "He sounded...it's mean to say desperate? Right? But like, 'hot dog hot damn' kind of excited someone wanted to look at the boat. So if we say 'money' he'll probably say 'yes' and that'll be all." 22:32 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Heck, there's no rush. Rather have it good than quick, you know?" 22:32 <CBN> Tony: "Oh that would be great! I'm sure Steve knows some if you need help." 22:33 <Crion> Barbaddos: "I feel you, I feel you." He glances over at Colt quickly, then back to Maggie. "The usual, ah, special tooling requirements?" 22:33 <Crion> Colt: "Yes." 22:34 <trenchfoot> Where is steve, actually? The last thing he said to Nels was 'don't do that again' which... yeah. But she hasn't seen him since. 22:34 <trenchfoot> Steve* Can't believe I hecked up capitalization. 22:35 <Crion> Steve's been around; the narrator has simply been distracted. He's probably watching TV, as he has taken to doing when no members of the Wherehouse are sufficiently undistracted to pay attention to him ostentatiously plotting out conspiracies on the corkboard or honking about business. 22:36 <trenchfoot> Phew. I was worried that Nels being around had driven him from his home. 22:36 <Crion> He does not seem to give a single shit about all that. 22:36 <banana> Technically it's our home. 22:37 <trenchfoot> She's already been told that you guys are fine with what she did, or at least fine enough to inhabit the same space. Steve's less talkative. 22:39 <trenchfoot> So: spinning up a dock or going with Tony to see the boat? Up to Tony, really. 22:41 <Crion> Barbaddos: "So we're looking at maybe two weeks of work if I put my other stuff on the backburner, which I can do. Gonna price in two fuck-ups, because that's the smart thing to do, and there's some custom fittings here that might be a real kicker, especially if they have to perfectly match -- I can't make a mold or cast, I gotta hammer it. If that gets really complicated, then I can't make 22:41 <Crion> any promises on time. The wrench, well, that'll be easy." 22:43 <Crion> "As for cost? Two grand plus materials. Call it three." He gives Maggie a challenging look like he expects shock or anger. 22:46 <Crion> Chuck gave them a time about an hour and a half from now; it'll take about twenty-five minutes tops to get over there in lockdown traffic. Do the three of you have anything else to do first besides try out different hats on Steve? 22:47 <Crion> He is currently wearing a Beer Hat, which delivers beer through a tube to his mouth. He informs that he got it through Purchases, via Business. 22:49 <CBN> Tony's mostly going to try to practice being normal around normal people as best he can, considering everyone he interacts with is along a spectrum of 'is just a wizard' to 'hobs.' these days/months/year. The assumption is this means wearing a facemask but tucked under his nose, like an asshole. 22:49 <dammitwho> Maggie is still struggling to get a grip on inflation. She's got a handle on everyday items, but for unusual stuff... is three grand hugely overpriced, or underpriced? It is a big hunk of iron and skilled labor, after all. Still, no sense being ornery either way when he's the only game in town. "Okeydoke." She says agreeably. 22:52 <Crion> To put it in perspective for Maggie, three grand is roughly two months of invoicing from The Sidereal for her and Union's special stuff. Maybe three, but closer to two. 22:54 <Crion> Barbaddos looks like he expected a fight, then looks like maybe he regrets having misjudged Maggie and not saying "four" instead. But he said what he said, and sticks out his hand to shake on it. 22:54 <trenchfoot> Nels fetches her guitar - the non-magical one - from her room and begins to play. Maybe eventually it will turn into a way to open the Wherehouse to the ocean and have a permanent boat-dock; as it is, she's quite happy to serenade Steve. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3Ytu2feXng 22:55 <Crion> Steve gets uncommonly still and into the song, pausing whatever he's watching -- it appears to be the special features menu of a middle season DVD of The Office, on loop? -- to listen, transfixed. 22:56 <Crion> And when Nels is done, and the new harbor with swinging wooden doors or a sliding metal grate or whatever Nels chooses has settled into the Wherehouse's firmament, he goes flapping around, hooting and honking. Extremely big fan. 22:57 <VoxPVoxD> Nels... 22:58 <dammitwho> Maggie'll shake on it, then. That wasn't so bad. 22:58 <trenchfoot> Wooden doors. It just feels right, honestly, and nobody else can stop her. Ranzo. 22:59 <CBN> Tony gives a double-thumbs-up that honestly feels like he's underappreciating this. "Holy shit Nels!" 22:59 <trenchfoot> She looks up from her guitar. "What?" 23:00 <trenchfoot> A quick look to the left: "Oh my God." 23:00 <CBN> Tony: "That's amazing!" 23:00 <VoxPVoxD> "It really is." 23:04 <Crion> Barbaddos: "Alright. Alright. Let me get those plans and...I'll call Colt when I've got something. Usual way?" 23:04 <Crion> Colt: "The usual way will do. Thank you, Johnny." 23:05 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I, um." She looks around to make sure nothing else changed. "I was preparing for the boat? Sorry." 23:06 <CBN> Tony: "No this is great! If I did this I'd be picturing more like...I dunno, a big ditch with some water in it and a dock that doesn't even fit really sticking out for a boat to come up to. This is great!" 23:07 <CBN> Tony: "You're more than welcome to come along for looking at the boat if you want but seriously, if you wanna just grab a beer and chill with Steve, you've already done more today than I was planning to do myself. Wow." 23:10 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I'll - I can come along. Unless Steve would be lonely?" She directs that at Steve, specifically. 23:10 <trenchfoot> She's eager to Get Outside but she did just kind of change his whole living space. 23:11 <Crion> Steve honks. He's fine! Lot more of this DVD to go. 23:11 <Crion> He unpauses the menu loop. 23:12 <Crion> Colt, when they're back in the van, as they pull out: "You're good for the money, I presume." 23:13 <dammitwho> "Sure, that's no problem. Gonna have to haggle with that guy more if I ever come back, since he thinks I'm a soft touch now." 23:14 <Crion> Colt chuckles. "He will start you off higher next time. Gave you a discount, then regretted it. But we've known him to be a man of his word. And he hasn't burned that god-awful shack of his down yet." 23:15 <CBN> Once the time draws near enough to head out, Tony and crew do so. 23:15 <VoxPVoxD> Boat buds. 23:16 <trenchfoot> We should call ourselves the shippers! 23:16 <banana> Melanie: "A lot of the stuff seemed very.. improvised. Little bits of wood and metal that had the right shape to hold something else in place but were not per se a tool." 23:16 <Crion> When Stewart, Nels, and Tony do set out, traffic is basically dead, and no one is on the street. It picks up a little bit as they get to the wealthier areas -- the rich don't seem to think this affects them; weird! -- but the private docks are basically empty. The gates, just the simple metal swinging pole variety you'd see at a park or such, are closed, so you'll have to park outside and go 23:16 <Crion> in on foot. 23:16 <VoxPVoxD> Easy enough. Good to stretch your legs. 23:17 <Crion> It's not hard to find the boat. You know what it looks like. And the only man standing on the dock is next to it. He must be Chuck LeBaron -- in boat shorts, an ill-fitting Hawaiian shirt, and flip flops, somehow looking medium-rare all over in late March. Not sunburned. Just red. 23:17 <trenchfoot> He looks like a Charles. 23:18 <Crion> His smile is very wide, but freezes a hitch when he sees Nels. Then it's back to Tony and Stewart, and it's genuine again. 23:18 <trenchfoot> Ah. Great. 23:18 <VoxPVoxD> Well... he didn't say anything. 23:19 <trenchfoot> Can't wait 'til he assumes that Nels is one of their girlfriends and/or wives. 23:20 <Crion> To Tony: "Well how now! You must be Tony Bowen!" How has everyone dressed? 23:21 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's dressed like this: https://i.imgur.com/8FquCPC.png 23:21 <trenchfoot> Pantsuit. She wasn't allowed to wear them before, and her previous "fancy" outings didn't give her a good wardrobe for something like this. Plus she's wanted to wear a suit forever. 23:22 <Crion> Chuck LeBaron -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHK0vytywUg This is our country. This is our country. This is our country. 23:24 <CBN> Tony: "Yes sir!" Tony's wearing a thick-enough-for-liar's-spring hoodie and thin woolen gloves, looking mostly like a college student who isn't dirt poor but is absolutely wearing his only outside-in-winter clothes. He's also wearing the hat, which with the hood halfway up, is only half as weird. 23:25 <Crion> Chuck's smile is getting sweatier by the second. "Well, ah. How do you do now! I already said that." 23:25 <CBN> Tony is also masked in the under-the-nose fashion of someone taking Things seriously enough to not get yelled at, but not so seriously that he's actually, you know. Protecting himself. 23:25 <Crion> Chuck is very much not masked. 23:26 <CBN> Tony: "Doin' pretty good man! So let's see her, huh? Don't wanna take up too much of your day here." 23:26 <trenchfoot> I mean, he owns a boat. Obviously he thought himself above masks. 23:26 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart has to turn away and cough-laugh. He's masked, at least. 23:27 <Crion> "And this must be your...well. I don't want to assume relationships!" 23:27 <Crion> "Right. Right." 23:27 <Crion> "Now, don't take this the wrong way but...y'all ever owned a boat?" 23:30 <Crion> He sort of pivots in real time. "Cause this would be...a great starter boat!" 23:30 <trenchfoot> Nels raises an eyebrow. 23:31 <CBN> Tony: "Oh sorry, yeah that's my friend Stewart, he's the money guy, and that's Nels, she wanted to see the boat. Boat crew friends, you know?" 23:32 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's recovered from the frontal assault that is this guy's whole deal and nods respectfully. 23:32 <Crion> Chuck makes a face while still smiling and says, "Yeah," in a way that clearly means he does not. 23:32 <Crion> "Wait." 23:32 <Crion> "Y'all got rich on the internet, didn't you?" 23:32 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart just nods. 23:33 <trenchfoot> What? Is that a thing? Stewart you owe some explanations 23:33 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart literally did get rich on the internet. 23:34 <trenchfoot> Sure, but Nels hasn't thought about it before! 23:35 <Crion> Chuck nods. "Well that makes sense! I thought all you folks were out in Frisco!" He sort of mangles it into 'Frisca.' 23:35 <Crion> "You know, I was thinking of getting into the internet myself -- come aboard!" 23:36 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart, who hasn't even seen that episode of Always Sunny, doesn't hesitate. 23:36 <CBN> Tony: "Not a big internet guy personally, but seems to work for some people." He definitely hasn't either, and does not hesitate. 23:41 <Crion> "So we got -- okay, four people in the hallways, gonna be a bit much. How about we do this. Tony I take you down, point at where the things are, then I come up here and hang out on deck and you three can roam and take a look." 23:41 <Crion> Chuck will do so, and soon you've got run of the boat. 23:42 <VoxPVoxD> Anything weird? 23:42 <trenchfoot> Anything normal? 23:44 <trenchfoot> Ha ha I kid. But seriously, if they sailed this to the Wherehouse, would they have anything to be concerned about? 23:44 <Crion> Nope. There's some weird scuffs, and in the cabin with the bunk beds someone's kids clearly drew on the walls and had it mostly-but-imperfectly scrubbed away, but everything seems in order and generally clean. If Chuck's trying to sell you a bill of goods, it's not in the interior or the amenities. 23:46 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Everything seems okay to me. Good condition, taken care of. Definitely used but definitely usable." 23:47 <CBN> Tony: "Mighty fine boat. I'm cool with it if you're cool with it Stewart, you're signing the check or whatever." 23:48 <Crion> Chuck looks surprised but not totally shocked at that. "So I guess I should be talking to you, Mr. Money Man." 23:49 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I think we can work with this, yeah. I like it. Do you want to draw up a contract or do this on a handshake?" 23:49 <VoxPVoxD> This is to Chuck. 23:49 <trenchfoot> Nels will produce a notebook and clipboard while writing: "this guy turbo-sucks" among a lot of much worse things. 23:50 <trenchfoot> But, she's not going to step in on the sale. 23:50 <Crion> He blinks, then turns to a zip-up document binder he has sitting on the helm. "There's, ah, let's see here. Bill of sale and transfer of ownership papers. We can sign all that when we do the money transfer. I'm sorry I gotta ask, how liquid are y'all?" 23:51 <Crion> "Like are y'all 'buy a boat on a money order in one afternoon' money?" 23:52 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "My bank's still open." 23:52 <VoxPVoxD> That's a 'yes'. 23:52 <Crion> "Cause if you are well we can settle a price and go to th--" 23:52 <Crion> "Well damn." 23:53 <Crion> That's an appreciative 'well damn.' 23:53 <VoxPVoxD> What's the name of the boat on the ownership papers? 23:54 <Crion> The Bigger Mac. 23:55 <Crion> "So the way I see it, I got her at a hundred seventy-five new. Only been a couple years, and she's real well taken care of. I'm looking at a hundred twenty. If you got it all now we can just, sign the papers and call the bank, but I'll want half up front if we do a plan." 23:57 <trenchfoot> Boats cost more in the dock than they do for sale. That's honestly an incredibly generous sale value. 23:58 <trenchfoot> She will whisper that to Tony if it looks like he's too eager to take the 'deal.' 23:58 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart grins as he flips through the documents. "No need to draw this out. You need the money. We need the boat. I can write you a check right now, or if you'd feel more comfortable we can go down to the bank and I'll get it certified." 23:58 <Crion> He blinks. "Well. Yessir." 23:59 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Stewart? A word." 23:59 <VoxPVoxD> To Chuck: "One sec." He'll let Nels take him aside. 23:59 <trenchfoot> Nels: "You know he's ripping you off, right?" 00:00 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I don't like to haggle." 00:00 <trenchfoot> "Fair enough. As long as you know." 00:00 <VoxPVoxD> "Thanks for looking out." 00:01 <VoxPVoxD> Anything else stand in the way of the fool and his money parting? 00:02 <Crion> Chuck, visibly shocked and relieved this is working out well: "You can keep her here for the month if you want, I got the berth paid up through end of April, hell, you can just transfer it over if you like though that'll have to go through them. But y'all look like you're doing serious stuff. Moving that big money. Glad to help be a part of that. I think we can just meet at your bank, Stewart?" 00:03 <VoxPVoxD> "Works for me." Stewart extends his hand. 00:04 <trenchfoot> Nels will stand behind him. She doesn't NOT look mean, 00:04 <Crion> Chuck will shake on it. 00:04 <CBN> Tony's just looking at his big beautiful boat. 00:05 <Crion> And, so you don't have to deal with this man anymore than necessary, we can elide the rest of the afternoon: he holds up his end of the bargain. 00:06 <VoxPVoxD> Whew! Stewart just spent more money than his parents did on his and Stu's college education. He feels absolutely nothing. 00:09 <trenchfoot> That's upsetting in a few different ways, none of which Nels will confront. 00:17 <CBN> After Chuck has left, Tony looks to Stewart and Nels. "All...aboard? Guyswegotaboatohmygod." 00:17 <VoxPVoxD> "Aye aye, cap'n." 00:18 <trenchfoot> Nels salutes. 00:20 <CBN> Tony is...well, giddy isn't a look for him, but 'very excited' is. Time to put all those Steve-assured-they-were-absolutely-accurate Boating Manuals he got from his contact (Boating Manuel) to the test. 00:27 <CBN> The hatches have been battened, the mizzenmast or whatever has had whatever it needs done to it done, but more importantly, Tony is smart enough to successfully navigate something that some of the dumbest people alive can successfully navigate drunk. And he's stone sober (for the moment, first and last for this boat). 00:28 <CBN> The trip is uneventful other than the moment when they pass under a bridge to Portal back to the Wherehouse and Tony briefly hyperventilates with giddy excitement about his beautiful, powerful, amazing boat. 00:28 <CBN> It's always summer and nothing ever hurts, on Le Boat.