10:03 <banana> Loading hacking tools... 10:03 <banana> 10:03 <banana> /**************************/ 10:03 <banana> /* begin_illegal_vignette */ 10:03 <banana> /**************************/ 10:03 <banana> 10:09 <banana> There's a piece of the Hedge just outside the Wherehouse which seems like an intrusion of Notgnixel into what passes for the "outside". Empty, tattered market stalls gallop around a parking lot with no car-accessible entrances, rolling in piles of rotted goblin fruits and knocking each other over. 10:10 <banana> It's a favourite gathering place for some of the shittier hobgoblins; there's shade, and the ironic lack of parking keeps the pigs out. 10:14 <banana> Melanie has about as much affinity for the Hedge as the little crawling hurfing things who theoretically make it their home. She may be thorned at times, but they're a shadowy nominal kind of thing, not the wild raking vegetation of Arcadia's outskirts. The only reason she's out here is for exercise of a kind you shouldn't practice on Earth. 10:15 <banana> The stallbeasts are harmless, more cardboard than anything, and they move quickly from long distances. It's a great place to do some of the dodging exercises Nissa taught her, using Japanese terms which Melanie has chosen not to attempt to memorise. 10:17 <banana> From a distance, what you'd see is a woman in a long and lumpy dress squinting at aimlessly-charging facades of groceries and awnings, then stepping out of the way just as they approach. It's like a bullfight without either of those things. 10:22 <CBN> Tony, meanwhile, is trying to find somebody to talk to. Steve's out doing whatever he's up to that Tony doesn't want to ask about (not really clear what Steve eats if it's not motley cooking or uhh Watermelon Boys), everyone else is off doing, who knows, they have school, and lives, and such. So it is fortuituous that when he sets out to do a little Baroning, what does he see but...whatever the hell this is. 10:24 <CBN> He squints and waves from a (potentially?) safe distance, thus adding for any Hedge-side viewers a shambolic dirt-and-corn-stalks golem (with an incredibly sick hat) waving broadly, to this tableau. 10:27 <banana> Melanie turns, smiles and almost gets hit by one of the market-facades. She gestures at it enough to make the wooden bits come apart and fly off (the creature gives a low moan which sounds like baaaaargains); the mistake isn't enough to dent her mood, and she's looking suspiciously excited as she jogs over to meet Tony at the edge of the lot. 10:28 <banana> "You are totally the guy I wanted to see. The guy." 10:29 <CBN> Tony: "Hey! That's great. These uhh..whatever the hells, giving you trouble?" He pauses, squints. "You uhh...you aren't giving them any trouble, are you?" 10:30 <banana> Melanie: "As far as I know, they enjoy it. Argumentum ad ignorantiam." 10:32 <CBN> Tony: "I'll take your word for it then. Anyway hey. Yeah. So I'm thinking about this boat thing and need some help." 10:33 <CBN> Tony: "But your thing first." 10:34 <banana> Melanie: "Oh! Uh. Yeah, I'm sorry about not paying enough attention to the boat plans earlier.. it honestly sounds like a pretty relaxing thing to do, and maybe really good now that we're supposed to stay away from people.. the open ocean and all that." 10:34 <banana> "The only thing was, well, no, actually, what kind of help do you need?" 10:36 <CBN> Tony: "Okay mine's quick. Do we want to come up with a name and then look for a boat that fits it, or do we find a good boat and then name it?" 10:37 <CBN> Tony: "Because those are two totally different ways of shopping and naming, and I've never bought a boat before so I wanna do this the right way." 10:39 <banana> Melanie finds a patch of sunlight to stand in. The market extrusion/parking lot is roofed in some parts, but there's plenty of open cement for abnature to thrive. "Ahh. And I guess you've also got the axis of like.. do you think about the best name for weeks, keeping it secret until the big reveal, or do you wait until it's basically time and then name the vessel after some notable thing 10:39 <banana> we just heard of or experienced?" 10:42 <CBN> Tony throws his arms up emphatically. "Exactly! And I'm new to the boat game! This is the kind of stuff you can't read on Stewart's internet web!" 10:43 <CBN> Tony: "Anyway, what should I do?" 10:44 <banana> Melanie: "Well, what I'd do is ponder the perfect name for so long I became convinced that it was awful and then refuse to tell anyone what I'd wanted. What you should do..." 10:44 <banana> "Have you ever had a pet?" 10:46 <CBN> Tony: "We had a dog when I was a kid, but I think it just came with its name." 10:47 <CBN> Tony: "Maybe we could call the boat Rufus, but that. Hm. Not sure." 10:47 <banana> Melanie: "Spot the boat. No, it's not an instruction, that's the boat's name." 10:48 <CBN> Tony: "'The Spot.' Hmm....." 10:49 <CBN> Tony, doing a very uncharitable Maggie impression: "'Where are you off to this evening young man?' Well hey don't worry about it, I'm just going to The Spot." 10:49 <banana> "I think.. it would be more fun to have our options open when looking for the actual vehicle, so we don't want to pick a name in advance that excludes otherwise seaworthy vessels." 10:49 <banana> Melanie: "Anyway, we should go to Prom together." 10:49 <CBN> Tony: "That's a good idea, no reason to figure stuff out so earl-what now?" 10:52 <banana> Melanie: "Wellyouknow- Maggie's escorting the Weed Wizard, Nels has an actual factual date.. Lauren and Stewart are, obviously, in a trio with Chup- I mean, they say you have to have a partner at this thing." 10:52 <banana> "Or everyone will laugh at you." 10:53 <CBN> Tony: "Well I don't want to be laughed at..." 10:55 <banana> Melanie: "It's not a problem I used to have. Getting dates." 10:58 <CBN> Tony: "But uhh. Like. If it's like prom-Prom I don't want you to get any ideas, ever since I put on the-" He points to the hat, which has become even more majestic than when you last saw it, perhaps infused with some foul fae magicks. "-I can't really even think about going all the w-" He gags. "All the wa-hurk" Again. deep breath. "Relations beyond. Marriage. There we go. Or sparking the devil's lettuce under some 10:58 <CBN> bleachers, or bashing mailboxes, or going on a long camping weekend at a friend's parents' cabin." He's looking green. Not sure how you do that when you're made of dirt, but he's managing. 10:58 <CBN> Tony, hurriedly: "So friends-friends, but you're totally free to ditch me!" 11:01 <banana> A series of expressions pass over Melanie's face rapidly as she takes this in. There are little creaking noises. 11:02 <banana> "Uhh wow yes I uh- that is what I meant. Going as friends, absolutely. Although it's funny, it would have been... um." 11:03 <banana> "No, what I'm trying to say is:" 11:03 <banana> Give Melanie a second please. 11:04 <CBN> Tony, again hurriedly: "Nothing against you though! Or that in theory! I think it's just, you know. Weird magical bullshit stuff. Like how." He gestures with a hand to his other arm, held out, constantly dropping little dirt clods that absorb into the ground and are back on his arm a second later. "But, brains-wise." 11:05 <banana> "Tony it's totally fine. And purely platonic partners because you know those Spring fuckers mean it about the laughing, that really was what I meant. Not that you- actually in high school I totally dated football players of.. similar types, BUT, actually. I want to explain this properly." 11:07 <banana> She looks at the ground, the sky, or in fact anywhere else. "I also... don't or can't do things, or don't know what I want, or some combination of that. When I look back at the memories I've recovered it's like... why. I basically had a new guy every month and I don't remember, at the time, thinking there was anything wrong with that. But it also sounds totally unappealing." 11:07 <banana> "Did you know.. have I told you about my fetch and her parents?" 11:07 <banana> Melanie: "I mean, my parents. Our." 11:08 <CBN> Tony: "You have not! Also yours, fetches don't count. But don't tell Stewart I said that, he likes his or something I think. And some of the Courts do too, which is weird. But no sorry go ahead." 11:11 <banana> Melanie: "Well, I don't know whether I'd like her if we met. Too much like I used to be." 11:11 <banana> "But... she doesn't speak to our parents, which is because, basically the first thing she did after stepping into my life was she started dating girls. As far as I can tell from online stalking, nobody that knew 'me' was surprised." 11:13 <CBN> Tony: "Huh." Contemplatively. 11:13 <CBN> Tony: "Well, people do that, these days." They did in his day but don't tell him that. 11:15 <banana> Melanie: "It doesn't feel wrong or weird to me, in theory. There were some.. trajectories in my old life and I think things that might have happened if I'd, like, kept living it. BUT ALSO, actually going out with any kind of person now, now-me not then-me, seems..." Infeasible? Unfair? Obsolete? 11:16 <banana> "...to be honest I don't know whether I actually feel what I'm feeling or if I feel, like, this person who's like a projection of who I coulda shoulda been feeling things, or whether actually everything was fine the way I used to be, or NOT fine at all because I was so, so thoughtless and, like, a victim of cultural propaganda..." 11:17 <banana> Okay, this is just rambling. Sorry Tony. "...what I mean is, none of those feelings, which may or may not even be real, are centered on you. You are my friend, who 'pwns'." 11:18 <CBN> Tony: "Thanks! But yeah dude. Fetches aren't you, if that's hanging you up." 11:19 <CBN> "They're at best what you were when you left, if someone who wasn't you saw you and kinda smooshed together some twigs and leaves and shit until it looked like you like a weird snowman on a light winter." 11:20 <CBN> Tony shrugs: "So like, maybe you and your fetch might act like the same person out of coincidence or whatever, or maybe you don't, but, you can't get in your head about it." 11:20 <banana> Melanie: "Try me." 11:21 <CBN> Tony laughs. "I mean, shit. You know mine's a hall-of-famer?" 11:21 <CBN> "Like, for the Packers, and he's retired, but still." 11:21 <banana> "That's pretty good. You don't get there on youth potential alone, weird old columnists permitting. He must have worked hard." 11:22 <CBN> Tony shakes his head. "I can't think about how that would've been me if stuff had gone differently, or else I am going to be extremely fucked up about it for the rest of forever." 11:22 <CBN> He claps his hands together. "So, fetches aren't us! Obvious answer." 11:24 <banana> Melanie: "Yeah. But it'd be stupid to assume that just because your fetch does something you shouldn't. They eat and sleep and breathe... I think." 11:27 <CBN> Tony: "Way I look at it, I might look like a bunch of dirt and garbage but I'm a person, and my fetch is the other way. Maybe that's unfair, maybe I will never know the difference anyway." 11:27 <CBN> Tony: "But he does not have a hat this fucking sick or friends this good, so like, sucks to suck." 11:28 <banana> Melanie: "I don't think we're gonna agree on that, but it's basically just politics. Very unimportant." 11:29 <banana> "What's important is that we like.. turn up looking good and like we know exactly what relationships are, because we're so good at them, and while people might not appear to acknowledge it, on the inside they're jealous." 11:29 <banana> "Ah, to be clear I'm not suggesting a literal fake relationship. It's a joke, or vestigial pecking-order stuff. I don't know." 11:30 <CBN> Tony: "I will buy a sportcoat if you think that will help." 11:31 <CBN> "But I don't know about a corsage, that might be taking the joke far enough that people stop laughing. I dunno. My first Prom." 11:32 <banana> Melanie: "Wow." 11:32 <banana> "Is there anything you always wanted to do at prom?" 11:35 <CBN> Tony: "...we can't break in the night before and TP the gym at this thing, can we?" 11:35 <CBN> "Otherwise, no." 11:37 <banana> Melanie: "I don't think there's a gym. But I will bring eggs, and I can keep the eggs hidden with faery magic, and if we find something to throw eggs at- like a principal who everyone hates - the eggs will be available for this purpose." 11:38 <CBN> Tony: "This is why we're friends, right here." 11:38 <CBN> Tony: "Can the eggs be rotten?" 11:39 <CBN> If you look closely, one may even note Tony is dang near vibrating at the possibilities. 11:40 <banana> Melanie: "I'd.. rather not risk the smell, but let's see how it goes." 11:42 <CBN> Tony: "Magic it away! Or seal the container up with cling film." 11:43 <CBN> Tony: "Thank you Melanie! I was kind of just going to go to this thing for moral support for other people. But now. Oooooo boy." He's rubbing his hands together conspiratorially. 11:45 <banana> Melanie: :) 11:45 <banana> "It's gonna be fun. More relaxing than the hum- the high school kind." 11:46 <CBN> Tony: "Yeah! And we don't even have to rent hotels or worry about someone's lakehouse or whatever. Maybe this is growing up." 11:46 <CBN> - Man planning to egg a formal engagement. 11:47 <CBN> Tony: "Anyway, I'll leave you to your...bagfighting?, I gotta go make some name lists. And buy some eggs! Thanks Melanie!" 11:50 <banana> "Technically it's 'street kata', which I think is bullshit somebody made up to sound like a ninja." Melanie gives Tony a little formal bow as he heads back(?) to reality. 11:52 <CBN> Tony: "That sounds fancy! Have fun!" Tony makes a note to also do some practice shooting with his gun later, if people are doing Fighting Training. But for now: Boat naming, and egg purchasing. What a productive little day. 11:53 <banana> Melanie was expecting to have a little 'what have I done' moment, about the eggs. It never comes.