21:48 <Crion> The last time we were at the Wherehouse, Steve was cooking rice, it was delicious, and the gang was tooling up to...well, 'invade' a college campus is probably putting it a bit strongly. 21:49 <banana> Inexplicably hanging around in variably sized groups is what undergrads do. 21:50 <VoxPVoxD> Feels like this has the potential to go quite badly... but 'go badly' here means 'some teens laugh at us' rather than 'we are trapped in prison dimensions'. 21:50 <Crion> At least two of you are going to have trouble blending in to some teen groups. Probably. 21:51 <dammitwho> Nonsense! Everyone loves having a mom-type along at college outings! 21:55 <VoxPVoxD> Kids these days are always talking about Moms I'd Like to Friend (latest fad). 21:55 <CBN> Tony's biggest hurdle with infiltrating a college at this point would probably be that his hat is in fact too fucking rad for most underclassmen to process. 21:56 <Crion> It's true. 21:56 <Crion> And if anyone says otherwise, Tony can tell them a tiny man with a racist accent said so. 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> You can't be racist against Italians. Or, if Stewart's father is to be believed, Jews. 21:57 <Crion> Stu probably has some follow-up stories about that one. 21:58 <CBN> Really, the second-biggest hurdle here is the crushing sense of inadequacy and loss that comes with being surrounded by, and confronted with, hundreds of people the age of his mask who've got their whole lives in front of them. Real Winter hours, who down. 21:59 <CBN> Belly full of goose-fried-rice (yes, a goose fried this rice) and other people taking the lead, though? Takes some of the harsher edges off here. 21:59 <VoxPVoxD> Stu... wonder how he's doing. Stewart has the vague anxious prickle that UMBC is in his FD's coverage area, but what are the odds this visit involves a call-911-sized fire? Virtually zero, right? 22:00 <banana> Melanie: "So.. hands up if you own casualwear that isn't also slumpwear." Hers remain down. 22:01 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart, who has a much easier time finding nice clothes that fit than he did when he was fat, tentatively raises his hand. 22:01 <CBN> Tony, whose wardrobe past September has been a rotating cast of 'please I hope he's washing those when no one's looking' hoodies and 'please god say he just has multiple identical pairs of those' jeans, gives Melanie a look. "What are those?" 22:02 <banana> "I guess we're going shopping, first." 22:03 <Crion> Shopping for the boys, with Melanie and Maggie, knowers of all the latest trends. 22:04 <Crion> Oh Stewart has clothes. Shopping for the Baron, with Melanie, Maggie, and Stewart, 22:04 <banana> Melanie knows there are trends. But.. we could use some sort of guru here. 22:04 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart could call Lauren, maybe. 22:04 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Maybe a nice vest?" 22:05 <Crion> Lauren's been wearing yoga pants and hoodies for like, three months. 22:05 <Crion> The perks of working in IT. 22:05 <VoxPVoxD> Yeah but she *can* dress nice. She just hasn't had to. 22:06 <VoxPVoxD> We're only a few short months from sun dress season... 22:07 <banana> "Who do we know that knows fashion.. Nissa looks good but that's just working out.." 22:08 <Crion> You know a few changeling zoomers, surely. Samaritan...Spring... 22:08 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Samaritan, maybe?" 22:08 <Crion> Hmmm. Most of the others are dead or in the ICU. 22:09 <banana> Melanie: "Just from the name they sound helpful." 22:11 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Does the existence of a Good Samaritan implies the rest of them are all assholes? I never read the story." 22:16 <banana> Melanie: "I know this is philosophical malpractice but I haven't read the Bible. We used to do bible study back in Westminster but that meant, like, making out in the church basement, and once I was back I had a very long reading list. I've tried but it doesn't have much of a hook?" 22:17 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I could pick you up a manga adaptation." 22:17 <dammitwho> Maggie texts Samaritan: <Samaritan! We need your help. We're taking Tony somewhere and we need to dress him like a regular person. Can you help?> 22:18 <Crion> <omg!!!! whos tony> 22:18 <Crion> <OH> 22:18 <Crion> <rght> 22:18 <banana> Melanie: "On your regular swing by the graphic novel aisle. That could be salubrious." 22:18 <Crion> <hes winter guy who dreses like a dad> 22:18 <Crion> <humm> 22:19 <Crion> <where, iydmma> 22:20 <dammitwho> Maggie: <The college> 22:21 <Crion> <!! r u partying???> 22:24 <Crion> <lookng like a nold dork is very 'in' right now but u hav to do it rght> 22:25 <dammitwho> Maggie: <What does that mean?> 22:25 <VoxPVoxD> Zoomers grew up with a keyboard in their hands, why can't any of them type? Oh god Stewart is so old now 22:26 <Crion> <jeans fine, slacks better if they're tailored, u can rollt hem up a lil bit show ankle if he has nice shos> 22:26 <Crion> <*shoes> 22:26 <banana> Melanie: "I'm going to take a look in the library. I had two actual dresses, from the ball, but one of them is all torn up now and the other is like.. dinner party nice, not college party nice.. and would look stupid because of lumps. I must at least have something to go shopping in." 22:26 <Crion> <vintage tees r nice, tis still sweater weather so thats good, basically anyhthng but a buttonup work shirt> 22:26 <banana> By the end of this run-on sentence she's retreating behind one of the curtain-doors. 22:27 <dammitwho> Maggie: <He does not have nice shoes> 22:28 <Crion> <u want to stick to like two colors, muted, like tan abnd blue or> 22:28 <Crion> <well rip> 22:28 <Crion> <not even like lazy brown loafers??? stg boys> 22:30 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Tony? Do you have any other shoes than the ones you're wearing?" 22:31 <CBN> Tony: "Why would I need more than one pair of shoes? I'm not planning on getting married yet." 22:33 <Crion> <see if u can get him to pull this off. the pants r the only part he shld have to go get> Samaritan includes an image: https://i.imgur.com/gLGTveD.png 22:34 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Stewart? Are all the clothes stores still open?" 22:34 <VoxPVoxD> What time is it? 22:36 <Crion> You just had dinner but it's a Saturday night, so you've got a couple hours. 22:36 <Crion> Probably around six in the evening at earliest? 22:38 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah, should be, for an hour or two at least. I did all my off-the-rack shopping at South Moon Under, cause it was right by this really good chicken place called Nando's." 22:39 <banana> Melanie, distant: "Ughhh everything looks terrible when you can actually see me. Is there a trick to not see yourself." 22:40 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Drinking." 22:40 <dammitwho> Maggie: <Perfect thank you! Will text you a pic when we get him dressed> 22:40 <CBN> Tony: "Is Nando's like a KFC?" 22:41 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Great. Tony, we can get you a shirt but you'll need to come along for new pants and shoes." 22:41 <dammitwho> She does not trust him to have his shoe size correct and long-term foot health is important. 22:41 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Sort of. It's grilled and marinated chicken with a special sauce instead of fried. I want to say it's... Portuguese?" 22:42 <CBN> Tony: "More shoes..." He looks at his feet. "I guess I gotta retire the other ones then..." 22:42 <CBN> Tony: "Oh so like Chinese but...sorta...Spanish? Cool beans." 22:42 <Crion> Samaritan: <eheheheheheh> 22:45 <dammitwho> Maggie: "No, just... keep them. What if the ones you're wearing get torn up? You'll have spares." 22:46 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "What you can do, though, is buy two pairs of new shoes and leave one of them out to grow into a token." 22:46 <CBN> Tony points emphatically at Stewart: "Yeah! And then give someone as a present later! Because then they're new shoes and it isn't weird!" 22:47 <CBN> Tony: "Okay now this is gonna be great. Let's get me, and as a result someone else, some new shoes. Hell yeah." 22:47 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah!" 22:50 <banana> Melanie emerges; for once she's not wearing a sweater but a blue t-shirt that almost matches her jeans. Apparently it commemorates HONOLUA BAY '96 SURF WORLD TOUR. 22:53 <Crion> It's a hop, skip, jump, short car ride, and so forth to the clothing stores and back again, paid for, presumably, by Twitch streamer money, Hedge bootlegger money, landscaping money, and...well, Melanie's a grad student, so she's probably broke. 22:53 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's just gotta swing by home and get some of his nice slacks and one of those 70 dollar shirts and ask Lauren "Is this nice enough that teens won't laugh at me but not so nice that they'll think I'm going to try to trade coke for sex?" 22:54 <banana> Yeah, self-image isn't the only reason she doesn't have party clothes. This should juust about be ok because everyone else there will also be broke; that's certainly the aesthetic Samaritan's texts display 22:54 <Crion> She'll sort of blink at that last bit. "Yyyyyes. I mean they might still laugh at you because, giant dork. But it won't be because of the clothes!" 22:54 <Crion> (That's Lauren) 22:54 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart kisses her on the cheek. "That's all I can hope for. Love you, babe, back later." 22:56 <banana> "Maggie," asks Melanie at some point, "do you have A Look? Or did you?" 22:58 <CBN> Tony is whatever-the-opposite-of-a-kid-in-a-candy-store is the second they get there. Everything his mask's had on since he got back was whatever's been within 2 sizes of him at the Goodwill. "Nngh." 22:59 <Crion> Once again the reaction to the motley's entry to a retail environment is "ah, look at that poor mother, shepharding about her various slump teens." 23:02 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart has good posture and an alert, helpful demeanor, which is a big part of why people keep going up to him assuming he works there. The rest is the clothes. 23:03 <dammitwho> Maggie thinks for a moment and then says: "Trousers." 23:04 <Crion> The staff is helpful in locating many such trousers, and doubly so if Maggie shows them the picture. Finding the perfect pair is just a matter of time and measurement, and how much Tony wishes to participate. 23:05 <dammitwho> Maggie was answering Melanie, but that's fine. 23:05 <CBN> Tony finds a couple of perfect-pair-adjacents, thanks to a very helpful staff member willing to indulge his asking if he can get 'numbers that are close to the ones on my pants butt but better.' 23:06 <banana> It takes her a moment to get it. "Because skirts were what everyone expected, so that was a thing? I guess the equivalent now would be.. more to do with hairstyle and not wearing makeup." 23:07 <CBN> The effect of his emerging from the dressing room in a couple different pairs of pants is muted somehwat by his still wearing the same hoodie with an almost tangible aura of 'this has been worn while eating dozens of cold pizzas' about it. 23:08 <dammitwho> Maggie: "It's okay. We won't let him wear the hoodie." 23:08 <CBN> Tony: "Do they have shirts here too? In an almost accusing tone: "You said you'd do the shirt part!" 23:09 <banana> "Just... anything that's not just a tube. It doesn't have to have buttons." 23:09 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart agrees. "It's just gotta fit." 23:11 <VoxPVoxD> Fashion is a lot like Path of Exile, you can do pretty much whatever you want as long as you're confident enough to be doing it on purpose, and being rich and popular is a great substitute for confidence. 23:12 <CBN> Tony sighs and hands Maggie a stacked pile of pants, then skulks off to the shirts. Returning a few minutes later, he shows off a few sweaters (non-hooded thank you very much) and a, he wouldn't even be able to describe it, it's just a long-sleeved shirt without buttons, which feels like an incomplete idea. 23:12 <CBN> All various dark earth tones though. He's nothing if not consistent. 23:16 <dammitwho> Hmm. These don't have words that don't make sense on them, but that's probably fine. He doesn't need to catch a girl's eye, here! 23:17 <Crion> Well, he doesn't need to. 23:22 <Crion> With clothing secured, the motley will proceed to campus, for real this time, we swear...next week.