21:03 <Crion> It's been...one week since Halloween. 21:03 <Crion> Give or take a few days, of course. 21:04 <Crion> Things have more or less gone back to normal; your courts are a bit more into your business now that there's a Huntsman on the loose targeting a girlfriend of a motley-mate, and also that you've run into a True Fae who has made her intention known to, ah, continue to make her intentions known. But mainly you're being left to devices as the temperature continues to drop. 21:06 <VoxPVoxD> That's too LONG! 25% of the month is gone and Stewart STILL hasn't heard about this John of the Falls guy, who the motley is probably sick of hearing about by now. Here's Stewart again today: "But yeah when I get word he's ready for visitors I was told it was best to bring friends. He's the Autumn Court's oneiromancy expert. I don't know which Falls he's the John of." 21:08 <Crion> Stewart's been getting the runaround for a day or two now, first from Kingsley and then, when Kingsley was tired of dealing with him, from a very apologetic Gerald. 21:09 <VoxPVoxD> God DAMN it Kingsley! 21:10 <Crion> Kingsley's been very clear that he doesn't really control access to John of the Falls. John of the Falls controls access to John of the Falls. And for whatever reason, he's being...recalcitrant. 21:10 <CBN> Tony: "Oni-what now?" The Wherehouse kitchen's stove periodically gets char from meals you didn't cook inside it, and Tony is scrubbing that off before it probably gains sentience or something. Which means any conversation is with him shoulder-deep in the oven. 21:11 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Onieromancy is dream-magic. The Huntsman's heart - the key to getting rid of it permanently - is hidden in the dreaming mind of a random normie. Signs are they're reasonably local." 21:11 <VoxPVoxD> "So we'll need to enter someone's dreams to get it out." 21:12 <VoxPVoxD> "You need help with the oven?" 21:12 <trenchfoot> Nels: "...why would someone dream about that? Nevermind that, how do we stop them from doing it?" 21:12 <trenchfoot> "I guess finding them first, but." 21:12 <VoxPVoxD> "I don't know!!" Stewart's practically hopping. "That's why I need to get face time with the oneiromancer." 21:13 <CBN> Tony: "Yeah if you can just nudge the soap bucket a little closer that'd be---there's a lot of people local now though, isn't there?" 21:13 <Crion> Steve has been back. Currently he's wearing a newspaper boat as a hat, and is "supervising" Tony's work. He does not move to help with the soap bucket. 21:13 <banana> Melanie sympathises from by the kitchen island. Like any surface where Melanie hangs out, it's starting to get covered in books, crowding out some of the cutlery and dishware. "Do we have to find them locally? The collective unconscious is a freaking weird way to travel but it might be easier to navigate when you're loking for metaphors made flesh made dream." 21:14 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Presumably there's some kind of, I don't know, some kind of magic to--" He slides the soap bucket over slowly so it doesn't slop over onto the floor. "--to narrow it down. Refine the search. I don't really know what the process is because I'm not an onieromancer." 21:15 <VoxPVoxD> "I don't know how we have to find them. I know there are, broadly, two kinds of ways to enter someone's dreams - while asleep, through your own dreams, or bodily, through special gates in the Hedge." 21:15 <VoxPVoxD> "I only know that, by our best inferences, this dreamer *is* local. The Huntsman's behavior suggests some, uh, proximity, of their own personal desires." 21:15 <dammitwho> "We can wander about through people's dreams?" says Maggie, surprised. 21:16 <trenchfoot> Nels has her study guides spread out over the coffee table, where she's looking from the couch. It'd be easy to shuffle them back into a neat stack, should someone else require the space, she's not rude. Just. Messy. "That's, um, more than a little upsetting to consider." 21:16 <banana> "'Can'. It's not always voluntary," says Melanie. Stewart won't have any problem with the bringing friends part, that goes without saying. 21:16 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah. I mean, like. We can do a lot of stuff that's upsetting to consider. So can regular people, honestly." 21:18 <CBN> Tony: "What, you mean like appearing as the villain of the absolute classic and wildly optimistic Terminator movie?" Tony's movies over years have him in the sweet spot between Terminator and T2. No one's broken his heart about the current state of the franchise. 21:18 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I meant the personal desires thing, actually." 21:18 <CBN> Tony: "Maybe the person whose dream it's in, likes good movies?" 21:18 <banana> Melanie: "It's statistically likely." 21:19 <CBN> Tony: "Or large Austrians. Whatever happened to the guy who played the robot man anyway?" 21:19 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I'm going to be so pissed if we can't set this thing free before it-- Tony have you seen Terminator 2 yet?" 21:19 <CBN> Tony: "Have I seen what." 21:19 <VoxPVoxD> "Oh dude." 21:19 <VoxPVoxD> "The guy who played the robot man was Governor." 21:19 <VoxPVoxD> "Of California." 21:20 <CBN> Tony: "In the sequel? Weird direction to take it in but okay." 21:20 <VoxPVoxD> "He'd have been President by now if he was eligible." 21:20 <VoxPVoxD> "No, in real life." 21:20 <VoxPVoxD> "Arnold Schwarzenegger." 21:20 <VoxPVoxD> "Married a Kennedy, Governor of California." 21:20 <CBN> Tony just looks around to see if anyone else is going to give up the game by bursting out laughing at this obvious joke-lie-jape at his expense. 21:20 <banana> Melanie: "What, like Ronald Reagan? Why do they keep electing actors?" 21:20 <trenchfoot> These names are meaningless. 21:21 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I mean. It's like how they keep electing bankers in New York, isn't it?" 21:21 <banana> "Statistics again." 21:21 <CBN> Tony: "I hate all of this." 21:22 <CBN> He withdraws a blackened rag that you could swear tries to bite him before he drowns it in the soap bucket. "So much." 21:22 <Crion> honk 21:22 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Argh! If I just knew, like, how they were going to wake John up..." 21:22 <VoxPVoxD> "I could go and do it myself." 21:23 <VoxPVoxD> "That'd be dumb. I shouldn't do that. He'd freak. But I could." 21:23 <VoxPVoxD> "I can't even do the stupid fucking thing!" 21:24 <banana> We've got to do something to take Stewart's mind off this stuff. Melanie considers saying that, but she hasn't got anything concrete in mind.. he's bouncing around like a small frustrated animal. 21:24 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "But they do wake him up, or have some way to contact him inside the coma he's been in for the last 55 years..." 21:25 <CBN> Tony, somewhat distracted while clearing another layer. "I can do some dream stuff if it helps." 21:25 <Crion> Is there an easy way to contact Stewart inside the Wherehouse? He's got a laptop or something, right? 21:26 <VoxPVoxD> He's got his phone. There's probably a laptop around here somewhere but Stewart mostly doesn't come to the Wherehouse to go online. He can do that at home. 21:26 <trenchfoot> Nels adjusts her papers on the table and sets them in order. Maybe enough studying for today. 21:27 <VoxPVoxD> To Tony: "Wait, what?" 21:27 <banana> Hang on. Coma? There's no way that this one eccentric nonaligned expert is the bottleneck for the freehold dealing with Huntsmen 'at all'. Melanie's thinking Stewart's being fobbed off somewhat here, given a time consuming task to keep him away from.. things that the powerful elders of the court are doing, probably. It makes her a little angry on his behalf, but that's the danger of thinking 21:27 <banana> about stuff. 21:28 <banana> Typical autumn court though. The first thing to do when there's a crisis is start keeping secrets from each other. 21:28 <Crion> Then he will receive the following text from sender QUOTH -- it's already in his Contacts, even if it's not actually in his Contacts -- reading: <'STEWART READER,' KNOWN OTHERWISE AS 'CRITICALMASS:'> 21:28 <Crion> <TRUNCATED MESSAGE FOLLOWS> 21:29 <Crion> <Door under the I-83 overpass of W 29th next to the park> 21:29 <CBN> Tony: "Yeah isn't that just a thing we can do? Like, you touch somebody while they're asleep, you walk into their brain and find something weird and you eat it, and you feel recharged?" He looks around. "Isn't that how the rest of you top off between our weird adventures? With like, magic crap?" 21:29 <Crion> <Portal> 21:29 <Crion> <Seek the Gate of Horn> 21:29 <Crion> <Do not go alone> 21:30 <banana> Melanie: "I start fights. Mostly political arguments." 21:31 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's stopped listening to Tony to look at his phone. "You guys you guys I got something. Under the 83 overpass, West 29th, next to the park. A portal. A Gate of Horn." 21:31 <VoxPVoxD> He looks around at the others. "You guys... wanna come? I'm not supposed to go alone." 21:31 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I'll get my gun." 21:32 <CBN> Tony: "I mean I can't bring guests with mine, or at least I've never tried, but this sounds like another weird adventures. So I'm game." To Steve: "Please don't eat or drink anything in this bucket while I'm gone." 21:32 <banana> Melanie: "Why do you think we're all hanging around waiting for them to let you off the leash?" 21:34 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I don't know, this looks basically the same as what we're usually doing!" 21:34 <VoxPVoxD> "Whatever!! Thank you!! I'll get my coat." 21:35 <dammitwho> "Huuuuagh." Maggie levers herself out of her chair. "Alright, let's get to it, then." 21:36 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "The Gate of Horn is the way to enter dreams bodily through the Hedge I mentioned. The other way is called the Gate of Ivory, which is what it sounds like you're using, Tony." 21:36 <VoxPVoxD> "So we're cutting through the Hedge here." 21:37 <VoxPVoxD> To Nels: "You should bring your gun." 21:37 <trenchfoot> She's already got her papers back in her quarters and her revolver at her side. 21:37 <CBN> Tony: "Cool beans. We do enough Hedge shit already, what's one more thing." 21:38 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah! Team Wherehouse!" 21:38 <Crion> A concerned: honk 21:38 <banana> Melanie scoops up books to dump in her rooms - Imitation and Gender Insubordination , The Signal and the Noise, a german-english dictionary. She doesn't need tools or rituals of preparation. If they're lucky, contacting John Of The might be a vital but irritating task, the sort of thing you hand to plucky subordinates rather than an actual waste of time. 21:38 <Crion> Steve cocks his head to the side. He seems to have understood the discussion. 21:40 <CBN> Tony: "Steve is this going to get more fucked up than I think it will?" 21:40 <banana> "Steve. We're going out, so if you don't want us to do up the catflap you better act responsibly." 21:40 <Crion> honk honk. honk 21:40 <trenchfoot> That's a concerning number of incomprehensible honks. 21:43 <CBN> Tony: "Steve says to be careful, I guess this gate is maybe a dude? Named The Fall? Who... He's parsing some honks here. "Oh good, fucks around and taunts you until finally letting you in. Real Hedge shit." 21:43 <Crion> honk 21:43 <VoxPVoxD> "Nice. Great. Welcome to fucking Autumn. I'll be outside.": 21:44 <Crion> To Melanie, Steve cocks his hat and salutes with a wing. 21:44 <Crion> The hat is still a newspaper boat. 21:44 <trenchfoot> Wonderful. 21:44 <banana> If we come back to find a teen goose party, he knows what'll happen. 21:44 <CBN> Tony: "Yes thank you Steve. The usual sixer is yours, and you may read up to three of my magazines." 21:45 <Crion> A decisive nod, then a beer from the fridge. 21:46 <CBN> Tony: "Well, lead on Stewart, let's go have some adventure." 21:48 <banana> With all of the motley starting from their cool secret base, the most time-consuming part of the journey is getting from Lexington Market to wherever they were able to park a couple of cars. Melanie's only got one question, in case today goes better than expected: 21:48 <banana> "Destroying a huntsman's heart. Does that end the creature totally? Does it matter whether it's currently manifest?" 21:49 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I don't want to destroy it, I want to give it back." 21:49 <VoxPVoxD> The five of them should all fit in Stewart's car on the way up to Druid Hill Park. 21:49 <VoxPVoxD> Melanie's probably gonna want shotgun, for the legroom. 21:49 <CBN> Tony: "Is that how this works?" 21:51 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "A Huntsman is a victim of the Fae, like us. Their hearts are stolen and replaced with a fragment of a Keeper's title. If we can negotiate and seal an oath with the Huntsman they should just... go home." 21:52 <Crion> There's public parking nearby. The good news is that it's not very public. In fact, the underpass itself doesn't even appear to have a...hmm. https://i.imgur.com/nS8kM34.png 21:52 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Oh. Then, yes." 21:52 <Crion> Actually wait. 21:53 <banana> Melanie: "Negotiate? Why would we need a deal if we took the risk of letting it get close to us already?" 21:53 <VoxPVoxD> Oh right. Jones Falls. 21:53 <Crion> Way up that concrete embankment, there's a door laying on the ground. 21:53 <CBN> Tony: "What happens to the fragment of the title afterwards?" 21:53 <VoxPVoxD> "It returns to the Keeper, same as it would if we destroyed the Huntsman." 21:53 <CBN> Tony: "Hm." 21:54 <VoxPVoxD> "Yeah, like..." he gets quieter. "Stopping one Huntsman, no matter how, doesn't do anything about the one after that." 21:54 <VoxPVoxD> "We're here." 21:55 <Crion> Should be easy enough to clambor down there. ...No one's carrying longarms, right? 21:55 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart hugs his black peacoat tighter around himself against the wind cutting through the underpass. 21:55 <Crion> Might be harder to get to the underpass from your parking space open-carrying a shotgun. 21:55 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's still unarmed. Apologetic Gerald and Wants-to-Talk Stu weren't any more helpful with that than Kingsley was with John. 21:56 <banana> Melanie: "At that point we rely on carrying on, on the fact that the whole thing is rare. Inevitable but not constant." 21:56 <banana> "It's like... cancer you can cure." 21:56 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Right." 21:57 <CBN> Tony: "Do we at least know what Keeper this one's a part of, or in service to, or whatever? Feeling like it'll probably come looking for whatever undid its weird heart-title-swap-thing." 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah. It's Lauren's Keeper." 21:57 <VoxPVoxD> "Titled 'Sky Mother'." 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> "It's like if Skynet was designed by the bad guy from Wild Wild West." 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> Fuck, god damn it "It's a big fuckoff robot spider in the sky." 21:58 <CBN> Tony: "That show's still on? I watched that when I was a kid!" 21:58 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "There was a movie." 21:58 <CBN> "Don't remember any spiders though." 21:59 <CBN> "Oh." 21:59 <banana> "The forensics team said that the huntsman-robot was weaved together, molten metal strands formed into an exoskeleton. It looks mass-produced on purpose but it's not." 22:00 <VoxPVoxD> Anything stop Stewart from opening the door? 22:00 <trenchfoot> Nels hides her confusion well. What on Earth is a robot? 22:01 <Crion> Nope. It'll just open onto concrete...unless he gives it that kick. 22:03 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart literally kicks the door. "Hell is coming, and we're already behind schedule. Yield." 22:03 <Crion> The door swings through the other way...down into the concrete...and there's a misaligned world on the other side. 22:04 <Crion> The Hedge. 22:05 <CBN> Tony: "Me first, or?" 22:06 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks back. "What?" 22:06 <VoxPVoxD> He blinks. 22:07 <VoxPVoxD> "Oh. Yeah, sure. Thanks." 22:07 <VoxPVoxD> He hesitates again before stepping back and letting Tony through. 22:08 <CBN> Tony sizes it up, and hop...scoot...passes through, in whatever way at the moment feels the least awkward. Stupid physics. 22:08 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart's in second. 22:09 <trenchfoot> Nels is in next. 22:10 <dammitwho> Maggie will trundle in behind. 22:12 <Crion> It's a weird feeling -- you're stepping into the Hedge, but also up, half-throwing off your internal balance. But across from you, when you arrive, is a giant basalt...slab? It looks like it might be a door, but there's no seam for it to part. There's just a horn, dirty and yellow, looking as if it was cut off...a VERY large rhino, fashioned by a strange black metal chain into a knocker. 22:12 <Crion> The Hedgerow here is wide; instead of a street, it's a highway -- but it's just aesthetic. This is no Trod. 22:13 <Crion> Still, you have to cross four lanes of "traffic" to get there instead of two. 22:13 <CBN> Tony looks both ways before attempting to cross. Never a bad idea. 22:27 <banana> Melanie's been quiet today. Stewart's not ok, but it's due to like.. actual bad things that have really happened. That's what they're addressing. Still- once they make it to the other side, she asks: "Are we expecting to meet John in here? Let's decide who does the talking." 22:29 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "It should be me, right. He's an Autumn courtier, I'm the one they'll have told him to expect." 22:29 <banana> Melanie: "Maybe. If the guy responds to pressure 'taunts and fucking around'.. you don't need that right now." 22:30 <banana> "How about Nels? Literally everyone likes her and she's got the last half-century in common." 22:30 <banana> "Um, sorry Nels." 22:30 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "And Nels does need to be taunted and fucked with?" 22:31 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart narrows his eyes. Is this some kind of sacrifice-the-pretty-girl-to-the-slasher kick Melanie's on? He doesn't understand. 22:31 <banana> Melanie won't push that further unless Helen herself has something to say about it. 22:32 <CBN> Tony: "I can get yelled at, I don't really give a shit. Especially if it's just part of some stupid game face Hedge rule stuff." 22:33 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I mean, if he's that kind of asshole there's no reason to assume he won't fuck with all of us." 22:33 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I..." She's considering. "I'd be happy to help, but yes, that's what I was expecting more generally." 22:34 <trenchfoot> "Bring your friends so he doesn't simply focus on you the whole time." 22:35 <banana> Nels is the pretty girl; that's why an asshole might be nice to her. That's how the world works. "The key is to avoid antagonising a man who sounds likely to take offence to things and use it as an excuse to be unhelpful. I feel like.. I've got a nasty feeling he'll take advantage of desperation, if that's what he sees." 22:36 <CBN> Tony: "Worse comes to worse, if the guy is a door, we can always kick him down, right?" 22:37 <VoxPVoxD> Desperate? What the hell's she-- whatever. You know what? Whatever. "Whatever, fine, Nels can take point. Let's just go before we stand here too long and turn into Froggers." 22:39 <banana> "We can kick pretty good." 22:39 <Crion> Well, you're all here. There's no wind on this version of the Jones Falls Expressway -- if you look over the side, the perspective is all weird too, it's like you're not even off the ground -- but that great basalt door stands opposite you...and, oddly, real Hedge. 22:39 <Crion> Not fake buildings or barbed wire: thorny hedgerow. 22:40 <Crion> The street seems clear, if you want to approach. 22:40 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart starts across the street. 22:40 <CBN> Tony approaches at Stewart's shoulder. 22:40 <banana> Melanie wonders whether the wild growth under the underpass makes this entrance different, closer to the.. quasi-nature that the Hedge likes to pretend at. 22:41 <trenchfoot> Nels: "If you're sure." She'll be just a touch behind Stewart, who seems to be both stressed and in a hurry. ...not sure how to help, there. 22:43 <VoxPVoxD> Assuming he doesn't get run over or trip a snare trap or something on the way, Stewart takes the knocker in both hands and thuds it firmly against the door three times. 22:43 <banana> If it doesn't open, we'll have to Spin it. 22:46 <Crion> The door is silent. Nothing happens. Then...a laugh? Then a growl? Then a sigh? 22:46 <Crion> And BAM!-BAM!-BAM! BAM!-BAM!-BAM! BAM!-BAM!-BAM! 22:46 <Crion> With each resounding slam, a louder, deeper version of Stewart's, the great basalt door flies backwards into the Hedge, creating a perfectly great-basalt-door-shaped passageway with every regression, thorns sprouting and growing to curl over the new walls. After the first six retreats, the door suddenly takes a right, and disappears from view -- though you can still hear the last three 22:46 <Crion> "knocks." 22:47 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Suppose it was too much to hope we'd avoid a Hedge maze." 22:47 <banana> Melanie: "A dark mirror of Jackie's guidance." 22:48 <banana> To Tony: "Do we follow the door?" 22:49 <CBN> Tony: "Feels like, though I don't know what happens if it doubles back on us?" 22:51 <banana> "We can try some of those tricks from the pig siege." 22:54 <banana> Now that there's no imminent prospect of a tricky conversation, this becomes a collective problem-solving exercise. Let's head into the maze and try to twist it back to something like a path... 22:54 <CBN> Tony: "If the description was accurate, I gotta assume the more stuff we do, the more stuff it's gonna do back." 22:54 <Crion> In front of them...spikes drive out of the ground and wall, and spikes drive out of THOSE spikes, and so on, creating what appears to be a twenty-foot deep not-quite-really-barrier that you'd need to very carefully maneuver through. 22:54 <trenchfoot> Rude. 22:55 <CBN> Tony: "So what if we just try to focus our efforts on doing one big thing? Can we do that? Is that making sense?" 22:58 <banana> "Crossing that is certainly big." 23:01 <CBN> Tony begins making his way forward, very slowly and not-that-surely grabbing spikes from the side and attempting to break them off as he goes. Doesn't make much progress. 23:09 <banana> Melanie: "Okay, please get back. I'll try something." 23:10 <banana> "Like.. a long way back. You need to get back out the door entirely, maybe cross the road." 23:11 <banana> Melanie's standing in front of the hedge-spikes, sinking into the ground a little. She quivers and flakes. 23:12 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "What are you trying?" 23:12 <banana> Melanie: "Destruction." The false-sun is very bright overhead. 23:13 <VoxPVoxD> "Are you... gonna be okay?" 23:14 <trenchfoot> Nels is hanging back with the same question. Well. Hanging forwards, because she hasn't yet run away. 23:14 <banana> Melanie smiles. "I am, thank you for checking! But seriously get away please. Out to the highway." The Elemental's Mask looks happy, but her Mien.. does not. Her true mouth twists into an artificial snarl. Something far away in the hedge walls moves with a judder. 23:15 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart trusts Melanie. He heads back out front. 23:15 <trenchfoot> Okay! Away it is. 23:15 <Crion> A rumble across the asphalt...even if the bass isn't quite satisfying enough. 23:17 <banana> Just after the others are out of sight, there's a tearing noise of earth which escalates to a roar. The hedgerow begins to shake and collapse. They can hear crashes and the screech of wood-turned-metal. 23:17 <banana> One of the inner hedge-walls, visible through the gap where the basalt door was, collapses entirely with a huge motion. Then it all comes to an end and the noise begins to abate. 23:19 <banana> Barely audible: "It's okay now!" At the maze junction, Melanie's standing exactly where she was, blinking happily in the bright daylight. Around her the field of spikes has been smashed apart as if by a giant's fist; the ground is rent with hairline cracks, each seemingly a chasm of great depth. The little island of earth where she stands is the only part of the ground that isn't torn 23:19 <banana> up and churned apart. 23:20 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Jesus." 23:20 <VoxPVoxD> "Nice." 23:20 <trenchfoot> Nels: "...wow." 23:22 <Crion> As soon as the rumbling stops, the Hedge reasserts itself. The ground returns, sort of queasily bouncing back like a bad computer game bug or particularly twisty loam -- but the thorns^3 are still reduced to splinters, and the way ahead, such as it is, is clear. 23:23 <CBN> Tony gives Melanie a thumbs-up and brushes some splinters off his hands. "Hey nice." 23:24 <Crion> This is real, old-school, HEDGE Hedge. Close-cropped grass and deadly vines on the walls. And -- oh. There's a...swamp ahead? 23:25 <Crion> It's not a large swamp. The walls don't even widen. It's just this little strip of Hedge, here, between you and that turn where the door is...and now it's all soupy. 23:25 <banana> "Does anyone have a boat." 23:25 <CBN> Tony: "Probably gators in that." 23:26 <VoxPVoxD> "Or leeches." 23:26 <Crion> A great splash!!!! And a massive...thing! Rises up to greet you! With huge teeth! https://i.imgur.com/RjGbbbB.jpg 23:27 <Crion> "Hrrrooooooooooommmmm," it says. Then it blinks. 23:27 <CBN> Tony: "Well hey buddy." 23:27 <dammitwho> Maggie: "Gah!" 23:27 <trenchfoot> Nels blinks. "Hello." 23:27 <Crion> It nods, sagely. "Hroooooooooom." 23:27 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart starts. What the fuck? 23:27 <banana> Melanie has no immediate reaction to that. Her briefly delayed reaction is also what the fuck? 23:28 <CBN> Tony: "We're trying to get to that door. Could you help us?" 23:30 <banana> Quietly: "Why do they make hobgoblins that large? Who did this?" 23:32 <CBN> Tony, to the group: "He wants tribute of some kind. No idea what." To the hob: "What do you usually get for tribute? More importantly, what do you want for tribute?" 23:33 <Crion> "Hroooooooooooooooooooooom." 23:33 <CBN> Tony, to the group: "It seeks, 'amusement' " Quote-fingers. 23:33 <trenchfoot> Nels blinks again. "Well, that's my cue." 23:34 <banana> You know what, this could be worse. Incredibly large snakes asking for bribes is no more dangerous than if a smaller snake did the same thing. 23:39 <CBN> Tony nods to Nels and starts clapping. "One? And'a two? And'a..." And negotiates the beat from her cue. 23:41 <trenchfoot> Let's go. She's even got a beat, which is good - didn't much care for the original she heard. "I am sitting in the morning at the diner on the corner," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-26hsZqwveA 23:44 <Crion> The big wormy hob is positively dancing about thirty seconds into the song, and as it goes on, its dance gets even more beautiful and more strange. It bends in ways it shouldn't, but those ways are more beautiful than they are terrible (though they're a little bit terrible). When the song ends, the hob bows deeply with a "Hrooooooooooooooom," and suddenly slides back into the Hedge-floor 23:44 <Crion> almost like a flushed toilet, the swamp going with it. 23:44 <Crion> The Hedge is clear up to the right turn ahead. 23:45 <CBN> Tony: "Nice." 23:45 <Crion> Around that turn is...the door. 23:45 <Crion> And three growls that sound almost like chuckles. 23:45 <trenchfoot> Nels: "Thank you again, Stewart." 23:45 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Don't thank me, thank Suzanne Vega." 23:46 <trenchfoot> "I wouldn't know who she was without you." Still, she nods. "I'll thank her if I ever see her, too." 23:46 <Crion> They slip out of the hedge, these Briarwolves. Three of them. There are needles and knives caught in their fur. Their faces almost look like people. Hideous, rictus-grinning people. With bad noses. They snap their teeth and howl and pounce! 23:46 <banana> Melanie: "That was great, whoever's it was. We got a break as well as fucking off the big snake." Well, the rest of us did. 23:48 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Oh shit! It's the Korn Word Up video!" 23:49 <CBN> Tony: "I don't know what that is!" 23:50 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I'll explain later!" 23:50 <banana> The what. Melanie snaps a twig off the hedge walls and eats it. 23:50 <banana> Tastes like.. a twig, but it gives her magic powers. 23:50 <trenchfoot> The best kind of twig. 23:50 <banana> *colour 23:55 <CBN> Tony gestures for the earth itself to take a swing at the wolf that just tried to pounce him. Nothing worth writing home about happens. 23:57 <Crion> The wolves leap. One goes for Tony and gets nothing. Two go for Maggie; the first misses her...but the second finds purchase. 00:00 <trenchfoot> Nels draws, breathes, aims, exhales, fires. Just the way mom taught. Hits one of the wolves, first one to act - all she could've asked for. 00:00 <Crion> The wolf snarls, but a huge chunk of its shoulder falls away. There's no blood, just soil and trash. 00:00 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart just gets up in the middle of the wolves, shouting "Go on! Git!" while orange sparks trail behind him. 00:08 <banana> Melanie snaps off more twigs cruelly - and the Hedge is bestirred to action. Vines and thorns lash out from the side-walls, seizing one of the wolves that's assaulted Maggie and dragging it over to her. 00:08 <banana> She leans back into the thorns (lowercase) listening to their whispers. This place can't attack us without giving up its secrets. 00:09 <banana> To nobody in particular: "I knew it." 00:21 <dammitwho> "Aaaagh!" Maggie howls as one of the briarwolves manages to race in and take a bit out of her arm. "C'mere you little s--t!" She bears down on the wolf that Nels has already taken some potshots at, bringing one arm way back... as she swings forward, gauges embedded in her rusty skin suddenly bury themselves in the DANGER red, the hot metal of her flesh pings, and a thin pipe running 00:21 <dammitwho> along her underarm suddenly vents hot steam, the pressure shooting her clenched fist forward with incredible force! 00:22 <dammitwho> The briarwolf bursts into pieces, wooden shards of bramble bouncing about the landscape! 00:23 <Crion> The Hedge responds. As Stewart wades in, vines snap up from the ground to grab his left leg... 00:24 <VoxPVoxD> "Fuck!" 00:24 <Crion> The wolf that failed to strike Maggie pounces! 00:25 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart lets the vines work *for* him, taking the support their hold offers as a way to put extra weight on that leg as he leans waaaay back, letting the wolf leap right over him and onto the one in Melanie's arms. 00:26 <banana> Melanie: "Thanks, I'm starting a collection." 00:36 <banana> Alright, let's get rid of the first one here... as the new wolf stumbles forward blindly, Melanie obligingly holds out its ally to take the blows; then she leans forward and the hedge comes with her. 00:36 <banana> Paperbark limbs and the thorned vines of the wall all tangle together, seemingly grown out of the same organism; the briarwolf shreds, coming to thankfully bloodless pieces. 00:36 <banana> Paperbark limbs and the thorned vines of the wall all tangle together, seemingly grown out of the same organism; the briarwolf shreds, coming to thankfully bloodless pieces. 00:37 <Crion> What used to be a hideous trashwolf crumples up and blows away down a windless hedgerow. 00:37 <trenchfoot> Well. Change targets, exhale, aim, inhale, fire. If she's going to keep doing this, she's going to need better training, but - BLAM - that one was on target. Two for two tonight. 00:47 <Crion> As Maggie swings at the last remaining wolf...rumbling...rumbling...rumbling...the walls burst! 00:47 <Crion> Water begins pouring in! The Hedge is flooding! 00:48 <banana> Oh for heck's sake. Melanie shakes off bits of dissolving wolf to point at the door just ahead. "John of the Falls is behind the door. He's doing this, presumably as a joke." 00:49 <dammitwho> "Can't say as his sense of humor appeals!" 00:50 <Crion> The wolf thrashes around, trying to bite Maggie and failing. 00:52 <trenchfoot> Keep the aim steady, fire again. Remember you need to reload soon. Keep your feet steady despite the water rushing in. There has to be a better way. 00:56 <banana> There is. Melanie leans back into the lowercase-hedge once again and lowercase-thorns burst forth through the lowercase-trod. Ropy wood rises around the 'wolf' - and pulls it down, bones cracking, drowning the hobgoblin in one foot of water. 00:57 <Crion> It thrashes...thrashes...then goes still, doesn't shudder, just falls apart, a wave of trash drifting away. 00:57 <Crion> The water stops pouring from the walls. 00:57 <Crion> The sea level lowers. 00:57 <banana> "Ugh." 00:58 <Crion> Now everything's just...damp. 00:58 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart staggers free of the withdrawing vines. Where's Maggie? 00:58 <Crion> And squishy. 00:58 <CBN> Tony, who has mostly been gesturing at the ground and is now shaking a leg to keep his jeans from being so damn soggy at the ankle. "Everyone alive?" 00:59 <dammitwho> Maggie's tipping water out of her shoes irritably. "More or less. Stupid critters." 00:59 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I should have worn wading boots. Not a scratch otherwise." 00:59 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Maggie, you got bit. Let me see that." 01:01 <dammitwho> "Aw, you're a sweetie, Stewart, but don't worry about it. I heal real quick. Watch!" She rolls up a sleeve, and next to the gash down her arm are several large dents in the shape of briarwolf teeth marks. A few seconds pass, there's a screeee, and one of the dents pounds itself out from the inside! 01:02 <banana> Melanie crosses the squelchy earth to the basalt door. She stands contemplating it, arms folded, and doesn't yet knock thrice. 01:02 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We could get attacked like, immediately. Come on, it'll just take a second." 01:02 <banana> The Hedge doesn't care for John any more than it does for the motley, and it's informed on him.. but it's really up to their contact whether this is over yet. 01:02 <dammitwho> She shrugs and holds out her arm. 01:05 <Crion> Ahead of them, the door beckons. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere this time. 01:05 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart runs a finger down the split seam and there's a flare of green light and the wound fills in with brass-colored pixels that increase rapidly in resolution until they're contiguous with the rest of Maggie's arm. "It's a relief to see some proper warriors come through Lut Gholein." 01:06 <dammitwho> "Eh?" 01:06 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart blinks and looks up. "Huh?" 01:06 <dammitwho> Maggie: "You said something about 'loot golain'." 01:07 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Oh. That's a town in Diablo 2. I don't know, I must've been thinking of what the town healer says." 01:07 <CBN> Tony: "Oh thank god so this isn't something I'm not getting." 01:07 <VoxPVoxD> "Anyway, you're right as rain now." 01:07 <CBN> "Who's in Diablo 1 and 2? That Arnold guy again?" 01:07 <VoxPVoxD> "Those are video games." 01:08 <trenchfoot> Nels: "I think this talk can wait until we get back. I still only barely understand what those are." 01:08 <VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "If you want more Schwarzenegger you're a couple years away from his other best movie, which is called Predator." 01:10 <Crion> They stand outside the Gate of Horn as the tide rolls back, and will see what's behind it...soon. 01:10 <Crion> --Fin