<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion> With the unpleasantness in the cul-de-sac passed, things lighten up in the Wherehouse's local Hedge. Once or twice a pouting Inspector Detector will hide in some thorns hoping you can't see him, but as soon as he notices that YOU'VE noticed that he's spying on you, he'll cartoonishly yip and skeedadle away (occasionally with foley work). Other than that, the ecosystem seems to be returning
<Crion> to normal, which is: an incredibly confusing lattice of streets and side-streets with dangerous walls, the colors of the season turning brambles brown and razorwire rusted. More normal, benign hobs begin to show themselves again, and even Steve has for the most part fucked off to honk elsewhere for a time.
<dammitwho> Does Maggie have phone contacts for the Spring Court?
<Crion> David Smitten, Samaritan, and probably the office phone for the Sidereal.
<Crion> That last one is basically Amelia Banthem's office number. She keeps her cell private.
<dammitwho> Followup: Is it likely that she would have heard of Icons?
<Crion> Not likely, no...but she has anyway.
<Crion> Samaritan, of all people, made a crack about them at the Sidereal a week or two back to The Kitchen. The old goat didn't seem amused. Something about how he just needed the perfect cast iron skillet to complete him.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's spent very little time at the Wherehouse since his night out with Maggie, and very little time out in the city since his night with Father Jesse. Even with Lauren he's been a bit unresponsive. He's fine, he insists to himself. He just needs some time to himself. Sitting alone in his room, listlessly unable to play games for recreation, flicking compulsively between dozens and
<VoxPVoxD> dozens of tabs until the hours spend themselves.
<dammitwho> Hmm. She's gotten settled in at the Wherehouse as much she really can be, she should let some people know that she's still around, maybe learn a few things as well. Ah! She can practice 'texting'!
<dammitwho> Maggie: <Hello Samaritan! [smiley face] [thumbs up emoji]>
<CBN> Tony's made a lot of progress on turning his little bachelor hovel portion of the Wherehouse into a nice bachelor home-pad. Someone with a better grasp of their inner life would probably recognize this as avoidant behavior stemming from not wanting to deal with the weight of the badge and the consequences of further Hedge hob interactions, but Tony? He likes a clean and organized space.
<VoxPVoxD> Brother.
<Crion> Samaritan: <haayyyyy :) watup>
<dammitwho> Maggie: <I wanted to see how you were doing! And also to ask about what icons are, in case you didngt want to talk about how you were doing!> Sometimes people need to stew a mite, and its good to give them outs that still involve social contact. She learned this from her young friend, Stewart.
<dammitwho> <not the computer thing the chan,geling thign [thinking emoji]>
<banana> Did several somebodies say avoidant behaviour?
<Crion> Usually they don't get service here on this side of the Hedge, but it turns out you can run outgoing calls through a custom Google Phone mask, then output them back through the original number using dongles with clones of their SIM cards. Highly illegal. Lauren came up with it.
<banana> Melanie knows they should be doing something about the loyalist nest; she should be pushing for that. It's just.. whenever the group is actively trying to Get those guys, she's into it. No problem. Way too into it. It feels compulsive, like satisfying a hunger, and it's not helping any of them connect with the world again.
<dammitwho> Maggie loves her crime phone.
<Crion> Samaritan: <lamo>
<Crion> <that's lame + lmao :P>
<trenchfoot> Nels is slowly accumulating more things for her portion of the Wherehouse - it's even got some artwork now, just little things but still. A home away from home. She's also got emergency supplies, just in case they end up stuck here, alongside some clothing, a few books, and another guitar. Practically move-in ready. (She won't, but she could, and that feels important.)
<trenchfoot> ...is it a bad idea to keep mirrors around here? It could come in handy if she ever wants to look somewhere else.
<Crion> Samaritan: <im no wizlord but i can answer sum stufff>
<Crion> <kinda serious stuff tho!!!>
<banana> Melanie's Around the place all the time, occasionally making little noises like 'we should go shopping' or 'is fox sports working today'. She's writing a lot, none of which is usable thesis material, and waiting for club night. She wishes she knew more than just List.
<dammitwho> Maggie: <???>
<trenchfoot> A window to the outside will do them well, then. So, she'll just have to bring a big wall mirror into her place, and then cover it up. Can't be too careful.
<Crion> Samaritan: <so do ya know what an ''icon'' is baiscally??>
<dammitwho> Maggie: <somethng about the kitchen needing 1 to complete him?>
<dammitwho> Maggie: <somethng about the kitchen needing 1 to complete him?>
<Crion> Samaritan: <oh lol that>
<Crion> <ya>
<Crion> <so>
<Crion> <rmmbr when you ran outta the Hedge when u escaped?>
<Crion> <well>
<Crion> <maybe u don't>
<Crion> <sry>
<Crion> <not lots do>
<Crion> Samaritan: <i wuz told the reason u don't is bcuz the thorns rip off pieces of you>
<Crion> <turn you into one of us.>
<Crion> <lost>
<dammitwho> Maggie: <!!!>
<Crion> <so.....you find one of those pieces................>
<Crion> <cuz they gotta still be out there right???>
<Crion> <and idk. good things happen??>
<banana> "Hey Tony. Have you found any good shows for keeping up with NBA and NFL fixtures?"
<banana> Melanie: "I used to basically get this stuff by osmosis, from the team environment and.. family maybe. Now I'm not sure whether ESPN has the good stuff or if everyone reads websites. The websites themselves say nobody does.."
<dammitwho> Maggie: <wow! they must be pretty hard to find then>
<Crion> Samaritan: <yeah........they're always somewher in the hedge, thorns, and if a hob knows where, or can find it>
<Crion> <they know itsa captive market>
<CBN> Tony: "Nothing I could recommend, I asked Stewart once what there was on the online and he said there were the Sports Websites (clearly pronounced as though Tony believes this to be a proper name/place) but so far, I'm just seeing what's on if I'm adjusting the antenna at home."
<trenchfoot> Nels steps out of her room, satisfied with the mirror placement and that it's adequately covered. "If it's anything like the papers used to be, none of it is good. Just different kinds of less bad."
<banana> Melanie: "Maybe just flipping channels looking for good games is fine then. Wait, antenna?"
<CBN> Tony: "Yeah, you know, the rabbit ears? Guy sold me some he said was digital, because I guess that matters now, but the important thing is they do, so maybe he was right?"
<banana> Melanie: "Rabbit??" To Nels: "Is this a history thing?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "What do rabbits have to do with anything?"
<Crion> Samaritan: <.........................you wanan find urs don't you>
<dammitwho> Maggie: <Thank oyu!!! [smiley face] [emoji in party hat blowing noisemaker] I am going to find a market to buy goblin seeds from to grow fruits + make hob liquor 4 (for) parties in Spring>
<Crion> Very difficult to figure out how Samaritan abbreviates.
<Crion> <im sagely noddin>
<dammitwho> Maggie: <Yes, but also someone else's would be good too. Helping the community [thumbs up] [thumbs up] [100]>
<Crion> <im sagely noddin agin>
<Crion> <ur looking for a ghoblin market!!!>
<banana> Melanie: "Digital is like.. computers. It means electrical signals, all the video is represented in an abstract way instead of using.. whatever they did before."
<Crion> <jackie knows where it s but theyre always busy>
<Crion> <ive been there b4 n could come...but u ight want to ask dstewart>
<Crion> <fall boy>
<banana> Melanie: "Oh, but you can get HD that way!"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "What's HD?"
<banana> Melanie: "Culturally, it's a semiotic marker of being upgraded or re-released. They used to use '2000' in the same way, when the year 2000 was this big impressive approaching milestone."
<banana> "So you get like.. Spiderman, Spiderman HD, Spiderman 2019 is the new version.."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I see." She doesn't.
<banana> "For sports the HD version is better.. picture quality, I guess would be the term. I'll just show you.." Melanie finds the TV remote, unless Steve has hidden it, and hopefully demonstrates the difference between an HD and an SD channel. The cable works most of the time now, though when it's down you do get shows that are a little off.
<CBN> Tony: "...aren't those just for reading? The Spidermans I mean." Tony definitely pronounces it with the emphasis early in the word, as though it's a last name, a la Oldman. Spiderman.
<dammitwho> Maggie: <Yes! He is part of my 'motley' now>
<dammitwho> "Hey!" Maggie calls out from her comfortable chair to the rest of the Wherehouse. "Does anyone want to go shopping?"
<Crion> <nice. hes cute for a weird nerd>
<Crion> <neway he'll be able to ask someone where it is>
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Um, sure. What for?"
<Crion> <unless you want me to come>
<banana> Melanie: "I mean I could be misremembering. But there's a new spiderman origin movie every few years, like there was one just before I left and then an ad for the remake was like, the first thing I saw back.."
<banana> Firmly: "I want to go shopping."
<dammitwho> Maggie: <You're are welcome to come if you want! No presre however>
<dammitwho> <pressure>
<Crion> <heeee>
<Crion> <lmk where/when>
<dammitwho> Maggie: "I wanna find a goblin market to buy fruit seeds for our little garden. Also, Nels, we should talk about building a brewery and a still for making booze out of 'em. Anyway, it would be handy to know where the nearest market is."
<banana> Melanie mutes the TV. "A goblin market?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Oh! This'd be the perfect space for that. Hmm..." She's mentally mapping out where to place it already. Now there's something she can work on...
<banana> "What would they sell, beak hats and pig accessories?
<banana> "
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Nah, it's more like one of them storybook things. Trade the memory of your first kiss for an ale cup that never empties, sell your shadow for the name of the greatest enemy you haven't made yet, that kinda thing."
<dammitwho> "I'm just hoping to get some magic beans, heh heh heh."
<dammitwho> Maggie, to Samaritan: <Ok! [that thing where balloons and streamers fall down the screen]>
<Crion> <lolllll hmu>
<CBN> Tony: "You want me to come too? Hobs seem to like me a lot He looks around to confirm no Steve lurking in the shadows for some reason, I guess."
<Crion> Steve has been very good at not being around recently.
<banana> "Ohhh." Magic beans.. it's been a while. "You should come, we should do something that isn't mutual generational incomprehension!"
<dammitwho> Maggie, to Stewart: <Hello Stewart! You should come to the hollow if you aren't busy! We are going on an adventure (safe)>
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Sure! I'm sending Stewart a text message with my phone, and there's a gal named Samaritan from the Spring Court I've invited along. Better in numbers, right?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's face has almost slid all the way off the hand propping it up when he gets Maggie's text. <should i bring anything?>
<banana> Melanie: "Don't bug Stewart too much if he isn't into shopping, though. You know guys."
<dammitwho> Maggie: <If you want to sell anything! We are going to a goblin market.>
<banana> It's unclear whether this means Tony isn't 'guys'.
<dammitwho> To Samaritan: <Do you know how to get to the Wherehouse? Our hollow By The Way>
<Crion> <nah wheres it at>
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: <finally time to plant that beanstalk>
<VoxPVoxD> <be there in ~45>
<VoxPVoxD> Ughhhhh. Stewart doesn't feel like driving. Luckily the 94 bus will take him basically straight to Lexington Market, after a shower to wake up.
<banana> Melanie's excited, relatively speaking. She's moving faster than her near-immobility earlier in the week - to her rooms. "I'll get changed! Should we bring our own bags? Do they take US dollars?"
<dammitwho> Maggie, to Samaritan: <Head to Lexington Market, service elevator, floor 2R. We can 'buzz you in'>
<Crion> <...............................................>
<Crion> <ahjahahahahahahhahahahahajhaahjsafk>
<Crion> <ya ok>
<dammitwho> "They probably don't. I've never been to one but I'm guessing it's more along the line of 'jar of fingernails'."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Actually, it would be pretty lucky if a hob wanted to sell things for fingernail clippings. Not a lot of use for those usually."
<banana> Melanie: "I'll bring a bunch of weird garbage!"
<banana> Not a commodity in short supply on the wherehouse grounds.
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Hmm." ...should she bring her guitar? Maybe they'll let something go for a song.
<dammitwho> Maybe, but she'd have to carefully word it or else she'll end up not having that song anymore.
<Crion> That's true even in the mortal world; probably even more fraught on this side.
<Crion> Samaritan will be over in about an hour.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart arrives about the same time - the bus was delayed.
<Crion> Then he'll see the Darkling Nightsinger from the Spring Court in painted-on jeans, boots, and a pure white hoodie leaning against the wall outside the elevator with her tongue sticking out of her mouth, texting. She'll glance up and see her at almost the same time, and grin.
<CBN> Tony's already in moderate hock to Steve for various things, so he tags along because hey: if your friends are going to the weird place where people sell memories and buy dreams, you go with. It's called being supportive. Also he has a (shitty) car.
<banana> Wait, can we drive in the Hedge
<Crion> I wouldn't recommend it.
<VoxPVoxD> She looks vaguely familiar. Stewart must've seen here somewhere.
<CBN> Well, his car's not in the Hedge, but if they need to go out for pizza after, and for not-Hedge-pizza, the option will be there.
<Crion> Samaritan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53GIADHxVzM She is gone, but she used to be mine.
<VoxPVoxD> For some reason that song is making Stewart really sad right now. She gets a smile back that fades quickly. "Are you coming in?" he asks her.
<Crion> She doesn't seem to notice, as she's quickly glancing back to her screen then back up to him. "You're Stewart! I think."
<Crion> "So: yes!"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "That's me. What's your name?" He'll summon the elevator and then the door into the Wherehouse.
<Crion> Maggie hasn't gotten any texts from her since <be there in 10> fifteen minutes ago.
<Crion> She takes down her hood. "Samaritan. Good to meet ya."
<VoxPVoxD> "Likewise."
<VoxPVoxD> Once they're inside: "Hey! Whadda ya buying? Whadda ya selling?"
<Crion> Samaritan is visibly startled at that, especially if he's doing the accent.
<VoxPVoxD> He is, of course.
<Crion> "Wait, you've been to the market?"
<VoxPVoxD> He's speaking to all assembled and not her directly, if it helps. "Sorry?"
<Crion> She blinks. "Sometimes there's a hob who says that at the market."
<Crion> "Like that."
<Crion> "You know, weird."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "They got it from a video game. Or vice-versa, maybe."
<Crion> "Huh. He wear a big coat?"
<banana> Melanie's all dressed-up, wearing the one blouse she has which hangs ok on a trunk and carrying a handbag full of (as promised) weird garbage. The Mien/Mask distinction's a little less jarring than usual. "Hello. You must be Samaritan.. was it Verge?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "And a bandanna over his mouth."
<trenchfoot> Nels resolves to look this up later. Asking "what's that" to everything is starting to get tiring.
<dammitwho> "Heya, the gang's all here!"
<Crion> Smiling politely: "It's just Samaritan."
<Crion> That's not necessarily a no.
<Crion> She looks around the digs as she walks in. What's Samaritan seeing?
<banana> "Right, sorry!" :) There are a lot of weird names throughout the freehold! But memory stuff isn't going to ruin today.
<VoxPVoxD> The only weird garbage Stewart brought was himself. His area is quite far from the front door and he hasn't really been in it much since the last time he had Lauren over. He's got long orange curtains for a door instead of Tony's beads.
<CBN> Tony didn't bring anything except a healthy sense of personal boundaries when it comes to interacting with Hedge denizens, after the last time got him whatever this badge situation is. Which he is absolutely not going to be showing to anyone anytime soon.
<dammitwho> The central area, first visible when entering from the real-world side, is sort of a lounge/hangout zone with a bunch of comfy chairs and couches around a big entertainment system, atop a toe-curlingly deep carpet (concrete is cold and unpleasant to walk on!).
<Crion> Samaritan: "This is nice! Since you haven't been here very long. It's very college!"
<dammitwho> Cables are strung across the floor, carefully tucked into those rubber holder things, leading to the Wherehouse's IT setup. Makeshift walls have been put up to give the residents individual living space, with each 'living cubby' clearly representing its occupant's taste.
<trenchfoot> Nels: "It's a work in progress, but it's - well. Yeah," she fails to elaborate.
<banana> Through another of the bead curtains there's a densely packed library visible, unfortunately with a bunch of dirt tracked in and out. "We've managed to weave things a bit but it's, like, everything has its own opinions."
<banana> Melanie clarifies: "The Hedge here is basically okay with anything it can classify as 'industrial loft'? Like it seems to be going by socioeconomic aesthetic rather than function."
<CBN> The only part of the main-ish area that will, without exception, remain bereft of dirt and garbage is the kitchenette in the corner, because that is a colonized Tony Space and he cares.
<Crion> Samaritan nods firmly. "Everyone says it's better to let the space come to you." Pause. "I mean I wouldn't know, that's just what everyone says."
<Crion> "...So, you want to hear something funny?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods, looking attentive.
<dammitwho> "Yes!"
<banana> Having someone new come to visit like this is nice. Familiar; Samaritan's right about the college atmosphere, it reminds Melanie of living in a.. quad? Did she? And one roommate would have someone over, and they become everyone's friend.. she's lost in recollection for a moment.
<Crion> "Baltimore's goblin market is like, two hundred steps away."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "...huh?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Lexington Market."
<VoxPVoxD> "Nice."
<banana> "That makes sense!"
<VoxPVoxD> "Makes carrying stuff home easy."
<Crion> "Yep. Gotta take the stairs, not the elevator."
<Crion> She looks around, beaming, which is weird from a Darkling. "We ready?"
<CBN> Tony: "Is THAT why there's so many of them all over the place outside? That makes too much sense really."
<Crion> "Yup."
<dammitwho> "Hrrrrraarruuh." Maggie levers herself up from her armchair. "Ready to go!"
<banana> Melanie's a little worried. "It's a little worrying. We thought we were following back-alley trails.. did a bunch of racketeering monsters have the same idea?"
<banana> But yeah let's go! Melanie is of course already standing.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's all set.
<Crion> Samaritan giggles. "You need to understand -- just because two portals in our world are right next to each other, their destinations aren't. Markets are big deals! They cast a wide net. It's more a neighborhood thing."
<Crion> She sort of bounces on her feet. "But let's gooo!"
<Crion> As they head back to the elevator: "You're gonna need a coin of the realm for entry, or one of you's gonna have to go into debt."
<Crion> "You know. Goblin debt."
<Crion> "Don't worry. Well. I mean, worry. But it buys you a season pass -- for everyone you're with."
<CBN> Tony tenses up twice, for two different, related reasons.
<VoxPVoxD> "Coin of the realm?"
<dammitwho> Maggie: "A coin of the what now?"
<banana> Melanie: "And whose realm?"
<Crion> Samaritan nods. "So, our money doesn't work in the Notgnixel Market. You need some kinda...'medium of exchange,' I think the wizlords call it. It's on the 'oath standard?' Instead of gold? I dunno. Basically they're minted promises."
<Crion> "Obviously, you can barter."
<Crion> "With the merchants."
<Crion> "But not with the door."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods. That makes sense.
<banana> Melanie: "It sounds like something you get from the market. If we're going to live around here.. we'd better start out on good terms with them."
<banana> "I could make a promise. I haven't got any risk at the moment" and it's better than letting someone else do it.
<Crion> Once they're out of the elevator, Samaritan leads them hard left through the market to the stairwell on the other side along the same wall. There's a big door there, but mass-manufactured. She taps on it once and it clicks open.
<CBN> Tony siiiiiiiiiiiighs. "If no one's got coin, which I assume no one does, I guess I'll take the debt, since I already do anyway for every time we deal with the hobs, and we just worked some off dealing with the Watermelon Boys."
<Crion> Samaritan holds it wide for you.
<banana> Thanks! "Tony.. we can't let you build up, like, a tab from Hell."
<CBN> Tony: "This isn't Hell, but the whole thing runs on tabs, doesn't it? I can take the hit."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Don't be silly. Melanie or I will take it, you just relax."
<banana> Melanie: "We know you're going to want to adopt another cute asshole monster."
<Crion> They head down the stairs. They hit an...iron...grate? No, it's worked steel. It opens easily.
<Crion> Down again. And finally they reach...well, it looks like metal. It also looks massively out of place, larger and wider than a factory door should be.
<banana> Melanie's on board with Maggie's point there. Obviously they have to protect Nels and Stewart, that just makes emotional sense-
<CBN> Tony: "Yeah I guess, there's Mean Pearl and Krills Bill and Steve and...fair enough."
<Crion> Samaritan steps aside. "Someone's gonna wanna knock."
<Crion> "You'll be uh."
<Crion> "Buying the season pass."
<dammitwho> Maggie will give Melanie a window to move first, out of respect for her lack of hastiness, before going to knock herself if she doesn't.
<trenchfoot> Nels hovers behind, quietly.
<banana> Melanie does take a moment to psych herself up, but- she should be doing this sort of thing, if she's not going to actually go after those loyalists yet.. someone's got to stand in the way of the dangers which are their collective existence. That's the summer credo, right?
<banana> Admittedly Maggie is a good candidate for standing in front of things, since she's made of heated metal.
<banana> She raps on the surely-not-iron door with ersatz knuckles. Knock on wood.
<Crion> It echoes oddly. Then, suddenly, violently, the sliding peephole-thing opens up. Three blearly eyes look through.
<Crion> "Hrrrrrm. Huuuuuuuurrrm. Haaaaah."
<Crion> "Coin or tab?"
<banana> That's too many eyes! "I'd like a line of credit, please."
<Crion> "State your recognized name, and the Market will extend it. This name will be your recognized name for all business done on Market grounds until your tab is clear. This name cannot be bought or sold in such a way that it voids Market terms. Do not use your real name."
<Crion> The sentinel sounds bored.
<banana> "Paperbark." Bored is good. Routine is good.
<Crion> "Paperbark, you are indebted. Your group is marked. Your pass lasts until December 22nd at 12:01 AM."
<Crion> There's a rumble. "Welcome to Notgnixel Market." The peephole slams shut, and the door descends into the floor, clearly now a great stone contraption with a thin veneer of metal.
<Crion> On the other side is a great statue of what looks like a bodybuilder with three eyestalks coming out of his neck instead of a head.
<Crion> But he's just a statue...
<banana> Without an Enemy, Melanie's confidence fades again. She drops steps in line with the rest of the group and looks to Samaritan.
<Crion> She hums a little bit and waves them in. Beyond the statue, there's life...activity...
<Crion> Notgnixel Market looks a lot like the market above (???) except some four to five times larger, and much more aesthetically diverse.
<Crion> There are, however, still stalls selling crabcake sandwiches.
<Crion> Probably goblin fruit?
<dammitwho> Is there some kind of order to the layout? A mall directory?
<Crion> There is!
<Crion> There's a big map, actually, separating it into four quadrants: GOODS | SERVICES | WEAL | WOE
<Crion> ...Difficult maybe to tell what the breakdown is, there.
<banana> "If we split up a bit.. we can find more deals."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Hmm. Might as well start looking for gardening supplies in the 'Goods' section..."
<dammitwho> "Deals are so important."
<banana> Melanie: "I mean in the sense of bargains, not.. pacts."
<dammitwho> "Me too."
<banana> "And by bargains I mean low prices!"
<banana> But it's probably all the same thing around here.
<Crion> As you walk into the main area, Paperbark's cry is met by joyous ones in return from the shopping and selling hobs: "Low prices!" "Low prices!" "Low prices, stranger!"
<Crion> Seems like some sort of greeting, almost.
<trenchfoot> Nels: "They seem... enthusiastic."
<Crion> Samaritan: "You can always say that about them."
<trenchfoot> She draws closer to Maggie. They're headed for the same things, after all, and... noise.
<Crion> "Here's something cool," she says. "No Keepers here."
<Crion> "Notgnixel Market has the juice to ban them."
<Crion> "Which makes your season pass...probably kind of a lot cooler."
<CBN> Tony: "That is cool."
<banana> Melanie: "I didn't even think. I guess these are kind.. free trade hobgoblins? The kind who don't take well to regulation."
<banana> *kind of
<Crion> Samaritan: "In the end, everything's about regulation, yeah? Just depends who's doing it."
<dammitwho> What looks good at the nearby stalls?
<Crion> Nearby stalls in GOODS cover everything from every stage of hedge agriculture to like, weird sleep aids? Like hobgoblin ways to keep your head propped up when you sleep? Is this an issue for them?
<banana> It could be something to use against them, if they're vulnerable to it. Melanie: "Do you have have anti-sleep postures for use on others?"
<dammitwho> That's excellent news. Not for the hobs, poor things, but Maggie's got plans for the future.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart wanders around looking for booksellers.
<Crion> The hob in question is sort of floating on a very, very tiny bed -- but in reality, you can sort of see more than two dozen silvery threads holding the...palinquin?...up. "You wanna hit em with the VyQuil, dear?"
<CBN> As the current resident cook, Tony tags along with Maggie looking for Hob-Ag goods.
<banana> What is the demo bed suspended from? Have they got ceiling hooks..? "Good sleep is fine, but I'd like to hoard it... it'd be great if my enemies were fatigued and irritable."
<Crion> Oh, they're coming up from the ground. Like little pseudopods.
<Crion> Stewart, meanwhile, finds...a lot of booksellers.
<Crion> Like, A LOT of booksellers.
<VoxPVoxD> He supposes that was to be expected.
<Crion> Maggie, meanwhile, finds her wants extensively catered to. Maybe too much? Lexington Market is enthusiastically a food market, both wholesale and retail, so it makes sense that Notgnixel Market deals very heavily with goblin fruits.
<Crion> She should put together a shopping list, and also a list of what she's willing to barter or oath-swear.
<Crion> But yeah there's a huge throughway here just called The Farmer's Market.
<banana> Melanie is fascinated by the more weird and useless hob-products, and she's going to quiz vendors until they get sick of window shopping.
<Crion> To Melanie, the reclining hob says: "You want a poison or a device?"
<Crion> "Poisons, they're usually over in WOE."
<Crion> "Devices, well." The hob grins. "We sell 'em."
<trenchfoot> Are there any alcoholic beverages? Nels hasn't really - used goblin fruits for anything, and she's not exactly sure what's possible, let alone possible for her.
<Crion> Are there! Package goods are in, well, GOODS, but if you're just looking for a bar, that's in WEAL.
<Crion> Tony doesn't see anything especially interesting while keeping an eye out...but there's that one stall called LOOT CLEARANCE.
<banana> Melanie: "Something you could place outside another person's home would be great.."
<Crion> The hob frowns at Melanie. "Honey...where it is that you think people sleep?"
<banana> Melanie: "I think it varies a lot."
<CBN> Tony heads over to LOOT CLEARANCE.
<trenchfoot> Gotta start with the packaged goods. Though some sort of still might be good to find around here...
<Crion> The hob sighs. "I can sell you a bad pillow, or an evil mattress, or a white noise machine with a real bad attitude once you get into REM. But I don't got a sleep trap."
<Crion> Stills are probably in GOODS, alongside all the homebrews.
<banana> Melanie: "That's cool. Sleep itself is a trap set by biology to steal away a third of our lives."
<Crion> The hob nods indulgently: "For sure, babe."
<VoxPVoxD> Any of these book stalls look modern but not in that soulless sterile Apple Store way?
<Crion> LOOT CLEARANCE is a weird...carnival booth? There's a shitty little hob in a shitty little suit grinning out in front of it and doing promo. "STEP RIGHT UP and BUY YOUR TICKET for a CHANCE at SOMETHING NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO BUY at ANYWHERE NEAR FULL PRICE!"
<banana> "I'll hit you up if I need to wake from a dream." Let's go check out WOE, as recommended...
<Crion> In fact, Stewart, there's something that looks suspiciously like an Electronic Boutique. Well, an EB Games. It's called HOB GAMES.
<VoxPVoxD> Oh hell yes.
<Crion> The hob at the counter is tall, goateed, and bored.
<VoxPVoxD> "Sup?" says Stewart. Does this look like actual video games or...
<Crion> "Hey man," says the hob. Turns out his glasses are like, part of his face?
<Crion> He glances up. "You're looking for something."
<Crion> It's kind of hard to tell what the software is. There doesn't seem to be much hardware, though...
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah. Do you have anything in the way of lore?"
<Crion> What kind of setup is Nels looking for?
<CBN> Tony sizes up LOOT CLEARANCE and spends probably longer than's healthy thinking about how self-sabotaging he's feeling tonight.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Let's see here." She glances down at a small scrap of paper she's scribbled a list on for herself. "Anything in the Blushberry, Dream-a-Drupe, Ertwen, or Murmurleaf family... Chu Chu Culm, Cocorange, Coralscalp, Coupnettle... and maybe some Amaranthine." She doesn't expect to find any Amaranthine, though. That stuff's valuable.
<banana> Messing with sleep is not a serious plan; Melanie's mostly enjoying herself browsing all this weird shit, finding a part of Faerie that's at once more familiar than the rest and weirder-in-a-safe-way. But she's going to spend a bit of time looking around what they sell in WOE in the hope of finding something that will give the motley an advantage over, say, nearby loyalists who don't know
<banana> that their hideout has been discovered...
<CBN> Tony shrugs and gestures for the attention of the shitty little hob in the shitty little suit. "I'll play."
<Crion> Maggie surveys a number of retailers: Amaranthine is available, but at a -- Samaritan giggles here -- high price. You'll need to purchase separately, not in bulk, and it will incur specific debt. You can get Blushberries, Ertwn, or Murmurleaf from most of those dealers much more easily, though. Coralscalp's being sold alongside some other (sea) weed variants, which probably all do basically
<Crion> the same thing; Coupnettle's in with the more usual groceries; Cocorange, Chu Chu Colm, and Dream-a-Droupe are over near where Nels is making inquiries.
<trenchfoot> She'll be looking for a pot still they can use for the Wherehouse, alongside... hmm, probably need something that can handle goblin fruits for mash, maybe a general guide to brewing new and unfamiliar things...
<Crion> The hob in the shitty suit hops up, snaps his finger and pulls three coins of uncertain provenance out from behind Tony's ear. That's his wager. Then he bows and gestures Tony forward into the room behind him, and slams the curtains shut...on a chintzy-looking treasure chest.
<Crion> Sadly, when Tony opens it, there are just those three same coins in there...
<dammitwho> Hmm. Let's see how much the Chu Chu Culm and Dream-a-Drupe are going for. Plus, she'll be able to hang out with Nels.
<dammitwho> "Howdy, Nels! Find anything?"
<CBN> Tony shrugs. "Well, at least they'll get to dance with the one what brung 'em." And he pockets the coins.
<Crion> One of those looks a bit different from the others. A bit less like a cheap trick. Tony has a coin of the realm.
<CBN> He smiles to himself as he walks away and rejoins Maggie. Not worse than today started, not yet at least.
<Crion> Meanwhile, over at HOB GAMES, the bored guy behind the counter says. "What kinda lore you looking for?"
<Crion> Looking like Maggie can get three Chu Chu Culms or Dream-a-Drupes for a point on her tab apiece, or some seeds for a plot each for the same.
<Crion> WOE is interesting, for Melanie, if she likes seedy dudes with crude tudes. Lots of like five foot two guys advertising their services as hitmen, intimating you should come into the backroom and See What They've Got In Stock -- WOE has to be like 40% back rooms by volume -- or selling fucked up, weird offbrand Juul pods.
<Crion> There's also just a booth labeled: Seven Devils.
<banana> That's.. not something she specifically likes. Are the devils less seedy?
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Oh, hello Maggie. Yes, actually --" she gestures to the brewmaster's setup she's been eyeing. "Should have everything I need to get started, so long as I can get a little help with the fruits... or, I guess, more mundane ingredients."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Well, all of it."
<Crion> A hob appears to be meditating in the lotus position in front of it. It is a cat person, naked from the waist up, with seven figureheads behind it. Everything here looks vaguely Egyptian.
<Crion> The hob opens a lazy eye and stares at Melanie.
<banana> Melanie bows from the waist (which is the only way she can bow. it creaks). "Hi, good afternoon."
<dammitwho> Hmm. Pretty spendy, but she expected that. Still, it should be thought of as an investment in the future. Maggie will buy seeds for the Clums and the Drupes at two points on her tab, under the name "Aunt Mags".
<banana> Her parents had cats once.
<dammitwho> Do they get fun little nametags or anything like that?
<Crion> In HOB GAMES, the guy nods boredly...but then leans forward, and his glasses both go opaque and flash...? Stewart will recognize this if he's seen the anime Evangelion, along with the grin that appears on the hob's face. "BTSW...Changeling edition. I've got it right--"
<Crion> The hob places a hand on the counter, finger pointing down, and there's an unmarked CD in the display case below it. "Here."
<Crion> The Egyptian cat hob: "If it were you would not be here."
<Crion> No nametags, Maggie, but you do get receipts with your Market Name on them.
<dammitwho> Aw.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks down: "BTSW?"
<dammitwho> Maggie, to Nels: "What market name did you choose?"
<banana> Melanie: "Well, I need to make sure it's a bad afternoon for the right people."
<Crion> The gamer hob pushes his glasses up his nose. "It's an abbreviation." He realizes how obvious this is seconds later. "They made the Book of Things Strange and Wondrous digital. You've probably never heard of it. It was an..."
<Crion> "...import."
<Crion> The Egyptian cat hob: "The wrong people are dead."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's eyes light up, though he's not wearing glasses. "That's exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for. Is it a program, a database?"
<Crion> The gamer hob sighs and leans forward, steepling his fingers. His glasses are still doing that thing. "They're trying to turn it into an app. If you can imagine. BUT!!"
<banana> That's how we're doing this, is it? "Wrong isn't a populous enough race."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Went for Traveller. I figured - what with the long way I've come, and all."
<Crion> "This version is an encyclopedia build in WyrdSQL with a front-end. It installs on any modern system. Do not attempt to access it via command line...make no queries there."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "What does it cover?"
<Crion> The cat hob grins. "The gods rarely have agreed. But then, it is fated to be so. And only Ra and Osiris will remain."
<dammitwho> "Nice name, there! I'm 'Aunt Mags', for future hobgobly dealings. I may not be Frederick H. Coca-Cola," She adds smugly, "but I think I know a thing or two about building a brand."
<Crion> The cat hob: "Which I suppose means, then, that I could help you kill just about anyone except for Ra and Osiris, mmm?"
<Crion> The gamer hob leans back. "Whatever the updates cover. Where do the updates come from? I can't tell you that. But you don't need wifi, man."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart whistles. "What's the curse? What's the catch?"
<banana> Melanie: "I have no quarrel with the day or the night."
<banana> "There's someone I'm going to kill. I have help; we'll succeed; however, I want it to be... safe. I don't want my allies hurt or sacrificed."
<Crion> The cat hob: "That is not what I do."
<Crion> The cat hob: "But if you're willing to let them burn, well..."
<Crion> His smile is wide. "The sun also rises."
<Crion> The gamer hob: "The catch is they have to have you beat already. The curse is they know exactly what it is you wanted to know."
<banana> Melanie: "Which 'them', please?"
<Crion> The cat hob, pleasantly: "Your friends."
<Crion> "Not you, of course...Paperbark."
<Crion> The gamer hob pushes up his glasses. "Can't erase your search history. So don't get hacked."
<VoxPVoxD> That's intense. "Oh wow." But compelling. "What's it cost?"
<banana> Melanie: "No. I'm willing to pay to hurt people who need it; I can offer an original idea, or a childhood pet, or a doorway opened. Sole survivor is not a deal I'll make."
<Crion> The cat hob: "I didn't say sole survivor. But I also didn't offer to change my terms."
<Crion> He closes his open eye, but keeps speaking. "So perhaps you're talking to yourself."
<Crion> The gamer hob: "We've got a payment plan. Unless you have something to trade in...?"
<banana> Melanie: "You've got compelling branding, but a consumer-unfriendly funnel. It's ethically irresponsible to bargain on the basis of unclear terms, so I'll move on. Perhaps we'll meet later!"
<Crion> Without opening his eyes, the cat hob grins. "We always do, in the end."
<Crion> Beyond being obviously smug, however, he makes no further attempt at a deal.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart doesn't think he has anything he'd barter away that this guy would want. "I'll pay."
<Crion> "!!!" The gamer hob straightens, reaches behind his back, and slams a three-page contract down in front of Stewart. "Sign here, and here, and here..." The contract's language is clear. He's going into debt, but he's not actually being suborned into being required to DO things. That would be swearing an oath, which is quite different.
<VoxPVoxD> This all seems to be in order. There's that floaty feeling again.
<Crion> Almost reverently, the gamer hob puts the CD -- now enclosed in a protective jewel case -- in a plastic bag and hands it to Stewart. "Thank you, for your purchase." It's almost a mantra.
<Crion> Then he immediately snaps back to looking bored.
<VoxPVoxD> "Seeya," says Stewart, heading out to try and connect back up with the others.
<Crion> Samaritan will be helping Maggie with her stuff. Nels and Tony seem to already have headed back.
<banana> Melanie turns up empty-handed, but looking vaguely pleased. "It's a hustle out there."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "I guess Melanie came away with intellectual enlightenment for free, which is a pretty good deal?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I paid for mine."
<banana> Melanie: "I learned that some things aren't for sale! These guys aren't really ever going to help us, but you can't blame them."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Them not helping us is fine as long as we're not helping them. Every relationship with a hob is transactional."
<banana> "Right, but there's another layer to it - those transactions are never the kind which would shift the balance of power. Neutrality is a political stance in favour of the status quo, you know?"
<banana> "I still like the.. the atmosphere. It feels like all these little guys are doing their evil best!"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I don't know if they've got enough volition to be evil. Bargaining might be a kind of atavism for hobs."
<Crion> Samaritan: "In the Market, definitely."
<banana> Melanie: "Ah! Again we fall back on 'intent'. There's a consistent metaethical discourse there, but I don't know if you wanna accept its implications for the Court system.."
<Crion> "And Mels, you DID go down into the WOE alley."
<banana> "Are the guys in Weal nicer, or do they just look nicer?"
<banana> 'Mels'? Maybe Samaritan's got the two of them mixed up, but it'd be funny that way. No objection.
<Crion> Samaritan: "Well, they're not less easier on you. But most of them don't ask you to cut off a pinkie or whatever for the transaction, and then refuse to tell ya why."
<Crion> *not any
<banana> Melanie: "Ahh.. the lack of an explanation did bug me. Like, it feels like someone refusing to show you the fine print? Like a deal which might be fair but you can't actually know."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "What were you looking for?"
<banana> "Have you got much out of this place?"
<Crion> Samaritan shrugs around the seed packages. "Yeah, lies of omission sorta aren't counted like lies, a lot of the time."
<banana> Aside, to Stewart: "Weapons."
<Crion> Forthrightly: "I stick to GOODS, and I stick to what I know."
<VoxPVoxD> Instead of looking leery or uncomfortable, Stewart nods soberly.
<Crion> To Maggie as much as anyone: "Wanna head back?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah, I'm ready to go."
<banana> So she's on the right track, or Stewart's already a dead canary.. well, the die is cast.
<dammitwho> Cheerfully: "I'm done!"
<banana> "Yeah, I'll come and look around some more later but we can totally go now. Thank you for introducing us!"
<Crion> The door will slide open as they're walking out, and as they leave, they'll hear the great statue bellow behind them: "Hrrrrrm. Huuuuuuuurrrm. Haaaaah."
<Crion> Samaritan giggles: "Not a problem! It was fun!"
<banana> Melanie: "It's really nice to see a product of this world that isn't.. actually bad. That wasn't just a simulacrum, right? Hob commerce. It implies a functioning civilisation that's not merely a superfice of dream thorns, not just an *excuse*."
<Crion> Samaritan: "Yup. Think so, anyway. It happens when we're not there to see it, at least."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart says his goodbyes and heads home first. Riding the bus home after going out and buying exactly one video game is powerfully nostalgic. He remmebers getting the PC version of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic this way.
<Crion> Samaritan will exit quickly too; there's a hot band at the Sidereal tonight.
<dammitwho> Maggie's happy to continue chatting with Melanie back at the Wherehouse, if she's of a mind - though Hercule Poirot will be busily solving mysteries in the background. The seeds will keep.
<Crion> Has Maggie seen this show before?
<Crion> I mean, it would be odd if she had, but one is required to ask.
<Crion> Perhaps she marathoned through it already.
<banana> Melanie hadn't, and she's been enjoying the series - though she often interrupts with questions about the mundane details of Poirot's strange world. Just how much of this stuff is fake and how much is British?
<VoxPVoxD> Inside, mail on the table, keys in the bowl, rum and lemonade... Stewart's set up at his rig in ninety seconds. Time to install this book and give it a try. Is Lauren online?
<banana> There are so many rural mansions, top-down drives through cramped countrysides, genteel manservants.. it tests her sense of amnesia vs fiction.
<Crion> dolor_sit_amet is indeed online. Is he putting it on his gaming PC or the hex box?
<VoxPVoxD> The hex box is Stewart's first choice, but he wants to run it by Lauren first. <hey two questions. 1. self-updating hob software from notgnixel market: should i install it on the hex box or the muggle rig 2. how good is the prince of baltimore at video games>
<Crion> The dot dot dot of typing appears, disappears, and reappears. Then: <lmao i'm coming over>
<Crion> <how much space you got for a third box>
<dammitwho> Maggie hasn't seen all of them, or even most, but she got hooked on Christie pretty early. "Y'know, I'm not too sure myself. I think all of that Baron this and Major that is real. Not the murders, obviously. There's a whole separate section for 'true crime'."
<VoxPVoxD> There's a slight delay in Stewart's response as he spins around in his chair in delight. <i can make it work>
<Crion> Then she probably finds it perfectly normal that there's a calico cat in the background of every scene in Poirot's house or office, grooming itself. Never seems to be acknowledged, though.
<dammitwho> "And the war they don't talk about was real, I know that in my gut. Plus the Wikipedia."
<Crion> Lauren: <k. grabbing a clean box from the office, be over in like, 35>
<Crion> <set up cabling for something wired to your router but NOT behind the autumn firewall>
<banana> Melanie: "Oh yeah, that happened. But I don't think 'Belgium' can be a real place.. there's no actual consistent cutural difference Hercule has, he's just slightly foreign."
<dammitwho> A man with moustaches that elegantly groomed probably doesn't want to get hair on his suit through cuddling a kitty. But he still has a cat, because that's just sensible.
<Crion> <ttys>
<dammitwho> Maggie: "You got your phone on you? I always put mine on the charger dealie when I come home... pretty easy to get to the bottom of this."
<Crion> Lauren will buzz Stewart's door some thirty minutes later.
<banana> Melanie: "Works outside, I couldn't figure out how to get it on the wireless network, but Stewart set up my laptop for that." She wanders a few metres away and back, bringing Maggie an Internet-connected device: https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/gkKH3lfRZzUgrWVIxwIGPv3QHsbmXP4Wm-gFmkBgFTJfWa0t3aATy6tcr9VaHBooYp-cz_X3tG9nY1gBqHPgR0WbWnp0k8taMlOIjA=s2048
<banana> "Do you go online a lot?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart works quickly, and then cleans the apartment up a bit, then has another drink. Lauren's buzzed in immediately.
<dammitwho> Maggie will simply type into the Google website: IS BELGIUM REAL
<Crion> Two minutes later, someone kicks Stewart's door.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's at the open door. "Hey. Let me help you with that."
<Crion> When he checks the peephole, Lauren's outside with a rig under one arm and a cardboard box in the other containing--"Ah, yeah."
<Crion> Containing odds and ends and tools. Lauren's in her usual work overalls...but she's put on makeup. On her Mask, at least. Maybe she didn't think this all the way through?
<banana> Melanie's got some tabs open - "Adobe PDF: Hegel-Dottore Concordances in th..."; "Debate & Discussion"; "Cmail"; "umbc-submissions". Nothing autocompletes in her google search history, though; she's not totally computer illiterate.
<banana> She peers over Maggie's shoulder; easy when one of you is standing beside the sofa. "But he never tells Hastings he's from Flanders or, um, Wallonia. Maybe it didn't used to be such a big deal?"
<Crion> Lauren: "You keep this place pretty clean."
<Crion> "Nerd."
<Crion> It's a pretty affectionate 'nerd,' though.
<VoxPVoxD> It kind of works, frankly. "Hey! You look great. I had some time after getting back from the market to tidy up. You're out there rubbing shoulders with vampire lords now. I gotta keep up."
<Crion> Her eyes flash at that first bit.
<Crion> "Oh, right. Well, you should play Destiny 2."
<Crion> She pauses. "I guess you really can't. I don't think Lister would like to be on stream."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah, for sure not. Even if he didn't mind one of the other Primates would probably want to twist my head off."
<VoxPVoxD> "Lister's his tag?"
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Maybe he didn't think the English would know Flanders was in Belgium, so then he'd have to answer 'Where's that?'."
<Crion> "Don't ever go on a raid with a city's Prince, though. He's got blackout curtains and doesn't understand bed-times."
<Crion> She snort-laughs at 'Primates.'
<dammitwho> Belgium is confirmed real, right?
<banana> Melanie: "Yeah, I'd have said it was in Springfield."
<VoxPVoxD> "Did you beat the raid at least?"
<Crion> "His tag is BaltAcadémieFrançaise. With all the little squiggles. I think he had to have someone register it for him over in Europe?"
<banana> "Um, this isn't a memory thing, I just never used to know about anywhere outside America in the first place. The world seems.. larger now, with everything further apart and thorns interspersed."
<Crion> She nods. "Oh yes, he's quite good. It was the other guys in the team who kept fucking up." She sighs. "Werewolves are so unreliable."
<Crion> "Anyway!"
<Crion> She heads for the office where the other PCs are. "You have a place for this?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah, I have it here." He shows her a short, sturdy end-table with a broad heavy shelf. It's on wheels which are currently locked. "This was in the apartment when I moved in, I had it in the kitchen for a while." Lack of counter space is the one flaw with Stewart's apartment, in his opinion.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "That's not so bad. It feels good to learn things." She thinks for a second. "Usually." She thinks a bit more. "Most of the things I've learned so far have been neat to learn."
<Crion> "Nice." She sets the box down and motions for him to put the tool-box down next to her. He's going to have a third isolated system; a third keyboard and mouse.
<VoxPVoxD> "So wait. Is this like a - are you in a magic Destiny 2 clan?"
<banana> Melanie, heatedly: "It's essential. If you aren't learning you don't exist, you're just a- a fact."
<Crion> Oh, she had a monitor with her when she came up, too. Of course.
<Crion> As she gets stuff plugged in: "I mean. The clan itself isn't magic."
<Crion> "But it's what they want to play."
<VoxPVoxD> Nice. The room is starting to resemble Lain's, a visual cue Stewart doesn't know. "Yeah I bet Steam would still come down on that really hard somehow."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Well, I don't know if I'd go that far, but it's good to have enthusiasm."
<dammitwho> After a pause: "So what're you working on these days, Melanie?"
<Crion> Conversationally: "Yeah no one fucks with Steam. No one."
<Crion> "Okay..."
<Crion> "What I've got for you here is a fresh install of Windows 10 that's on your network but in front of the Autumn firewall. Should let it update, and keep it isolated."
<Crion> She pats the tower. "It's got an optical disc drive, too. So put that bad boy in and let's see what happens."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart opens the jewel case and ejects the drive. "This is apparently a digitized version of something called the Book of Things Strange and Wondrous."
<banana> Melanie: "Argh."
<banana> "I'm trying to reconcile- do you know what a dissertation is?"
<Crion> Lauren blinks. "Well."
<Crion> "Okay, before we do this--"
<Crion> "You paid for it, right?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah."
<Crion> She glances at the disc. "Doesn't matter what you paid, but it matters that it's not pirated."
<Crion> "Okay."
<Crion> Lauren gestures at the tower. "Put it in and let's see what autoruns."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "A book professors write."
<VoxPVoxD> He does. The drive tray slides in with a tiny whir.
<banana> Melanie: "Not exactly a book, though they're almost as wrong. It's an academic artefact, a piece of original research and writing. You set out a thesis and back it up with evidence and logic."
<banana> "A graduate thesis is how they examine you for an advanced qualification, basically, a graduate degree.."
<banana> "The thing is, I need a workable thesis topic. I have to pick something to write about, something new in philosophy which will consume.. several years of my life maybe. If I can do it at all."
<Crion> A screen immediately pops up taking up the center of the desktop. It reads: WOULDST THOU LIKE TO KNOW THE FRONT AND BACK OF THINE PAGE?
<Crion> Two buttons: AYE in green, NAY in red.
<Crion> And immediately begins playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk3tXQzCeJA
<VoxPVoxD> Oh hell yes. AYE
<Crion> A progress bar runs across the bottom of the box...then replicates, and replicates, and--has Stewart ever seen what happens when you win a game of Solitaire for a version of Windows from like 20 years ago?
<VoxPVoxD> The cards spray all over, leaving after-images.
<Crion> Yeah, it's doing that with progress bars.
<Crion> Lauren: "So this is why I wanted a fresh box."
<banana> *almost as long
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "That was very wise."
<Crion> She grins and her eyes pulse. "Been doing this for awhile."
<Crion> When the screen has been completely filled with progress bars, it goes black -- like the graphics driver crashed, the backing light goes out too -- and then refreshes to a clean desktop with a new icon.
<Crion> It's of a book.
<Crion> The label is "THE BOOK"
<Crion> It's in the Start Menu too, if you prefer.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart double-clicks the desktop icon. "I was warned not to try and run it from the command line."
<Crion> Lauren grimaces. "Yes and no. Was the guy who sold it to you a nard?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I don't want to be judgmental--"
<Crion> She nods. "He was a nard. So, he assumed you didn't know how to use flags."
<Crion> "You can definitely boot THE BOOK from the command line. You definitely don't want to fuck around with flags."
<Crion> "Honestly, he was being kind. But, he also thought you were stupid. So."
<VoxPVoxD> How long does this take to boot up...?
<Crion> A double-click, then a launcher with an update check. You've got...6.½GB of patches to download!
<Crion> Yes, a decimal and a fraction.
<Crion> The updater updates immediately.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "And you've been trying things out, finding they don't work, and dumping 'em in the shredder?"
<Crion> It looks like...
<Crion> ...
<Crion> Did Stewart ever use Microsoft Encarta?
<VoxPVoxD> Shit yes he did. Oh man does this have the trivia maze? If so Stewart will NEVER open it are you INSANE--
<Crion> Then he will recognize this layout, except instead of MICROSOFT ENCARTA across the top, it has BOOK OF THINGS STRANGE AND WONDROUS.
<Crion> Lauren: "Hooooooo."
<Crion> The option for the 'MindMaze' looks, uh, corrupted.
<Crion> So probably a good idea.
<VoxPVoxD> So how is this laid out? Is it topical, is it just the search engine? What are his options?
<Crion> There are topic breakdowns, but they all appear to be normal, mundane topics. The search engine, however, is limned in a strange green-gold effect. The quick search bar doesn't actually let you type anything into it, and the SEARCH button takes you to an advanced search screen.
<Crion> Transactional, for your protection.
<dammitwho> She clucks her tongue. "And it's not like you can use all this wizardly nonsense as a topic... or can't you? Are you planning to show this to regular people, or is this just for your own benefit?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "What should I search for first?"
<banana> Melanie: "Yeah. I have so many ideas, but most of them have been done before.. or my advisor doesn't like them.. or they're just wrong. I get distracted by concrete problems when the question is reasoning, or lost in abstraction when the problem has an exemplar.
<banana> "Oh, but including magic isn't a problem. Nobody reads this stuff expecting it to make sense."
<Crion> Lauren: "Boy, it's your Glamour."
<Crion> "I dunno. Let's think about this."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Hoorm. Huuuarum. I bet you could get away with writing about vampires, since those are in books anyhow. Oh! Did I tell you Stewart and I met one?"
<Crion> After a minute: "You know anything about werewolves?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart shakes his head.
<Crion> Lauren shrugs. "Seems as good as anything else."
<VoxPVoxD> Alright, what kind of search parameters can Stewart work with here?
<Crion> The engine doesn't seem to be very forthcoming, but clicking through the mundane topics he's looking at general vs proper nouns. So for instance, 'werewolves' might return different, much more generalized results than 'Werewolves of Baltimore'
<Crion> ...If that's what they call themselves.
<Crion> It looks like he's on the hook for a Glamour per search...
<banana> Melanie: "Wow! Was it, um."
<VoxPVoxD> Thsi gives him another idea... let's see how the <Werewolves of Maryland> search goes first.
<banana> "What kind of vampires are the real ones..?"
<banana> Are we talking monster vampires or sexy vampires.
<dammitwho> Maggie isn't really aware of the literary distinction. "How do you mean?"
<banana> Melanie: "Are they like... dark brooding men in opera jackets who sneak into womens' bedrooms, as a metaphor."
<banana> "I don't know if they're some wyrd-created manifestation of narrative, but the other kind of vampire is just.. dangerous monsters who drink human blood. Less wow."
<Crion> The search returns a page on Maryland, and a page on werewolves -- mostly folklore? mainly? hard to tell? -- but also a MERGED ARTICLES section.
<Crion> And that MERGED ARTICLES section...hoo.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Well now... I suppose one of 'em could be a dark brooding man in an opera jacket. The one we - Stewart and me - met was a girl in a hoodie. Pretty enough, I guess. Okay to chat with. She still had a bit of the 'dangerous monster' column though, on account of when we left she was busy turning a policeman's head all the way around backwards."
<dammitwho> "Not fun to have that image in the old noodle, I'll tell you that for free."
<Crion> Did you know about the Lodge of the Hook Hand? And that they've been slaughtering teenagers, ritually, sawing their...saws...up and down the Appalachian, ever since Dwight Eisenhower was president? Did you know they think this is a wise and venerable practice? And did you know that someone(s) calling themselves "Iron Masters" in Baltimore aren't particularly pleased about it? Well, if you
<Crion> didn't, you do now. There's hyperlinks to click, on names and locations...they don't go anywhere. But they do stick in your mind. Just in case they come up again.
<banana> Melanie: "I also would leave. Unless I guess the cop needed to be- but it sounds like the vampire didn't need help. How the heck did you come across them?"
<VoxPVoxD> "'Iron Masters.' Do you think they're hedge-walkers?"
<Crion> Lauren shakes her head. "Werewolves don't care about the Hedge, let alone the Iron Masters. Not from what I've seen."
<Crion> "Like, assuming that the werewolves I've...met...are those guys."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "These are the mugs in your Destiny 2 clan? What are they like?"
<Crion> She grimaces. "How horrific can the term 'party animal' get in your mind?"
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Stewart needed to learn about 'em, homework assignment for the Autumn Court I think. I guess he knew about some cops that got killed by vampires already, and we went to track down another cop, lady who was a dead one's fiancee or some such."
<dammitwho> "Didn't get but a few words out before the heavy hand of authority came down on our shoulders, in this case being the actual ambassador for the Baltimore Vampire Court to the Baltimore Freehold. Another changeling, even! Courtless fella, calls himself The Mainer. And," She adds, "a real horse's patoot. Though that's just my opinion."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart is about to relate this to the serial killer vampire he saw executed in Charles Village, but at the last second decides this is maybe too dark. "Oh no."
<dammitwho> "Anyhoo, he was with the vampire gal I told you about. The Sheriff of the Court."
<Crion> Lauren: "The ones this thing calls the Iron Masters, I think that's Kolsch Cameron and Cuth. The other ones, well. They sound even worse."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Are they just annoying or are they like... I dunno. They're not Nazi werewolves, right?"
<Crion> She laughs. "No, they're not Nazi werewolves."
<Crion> "...Though I think those exist."
<Crion> "Anyway there are like three of these dudes in Baltimore and one's a kid."
<Crion> "I'm kind of more worried about this like...formalized cult of Michaels Myer?"
<Crion> She grimaces. "Guess I'm not ever going out to the county."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Could be anything from Michael Myers to Texas Chainsaw Massacre to The Hills Have Eyes. As long as it's not a Rob Zombie thing."
<VoxPVoxD> "But you get the impression those harmless guys are like, the city's line of defense against the slasher cult."
<Crion> Lauren: "God, I hope not. I've met them. Over voice-chat, at least."
<Crion> "Like...maybe they're real badasses."
<VoxPVoxD> "How did this clan come together, anyhow?"
<Crion> She sighs and leans back against one of the desks. "Prom."
<VoxPVoxD> "Sorry?"
<Crion> She laughs and her eyes flash with it. "Sorry. At the height of spring, every year, we hold Prom. Usually we'll rent out a neutral space down in the harbor. Everyone comes in for a huge party. All the courts, and our allied vampires, mages, werewolves...some other randos. It's even been attacked by hunters before, in the past. They stopped because they realized that everyone together at the
<Crion> same time means like forty boss fights at once if you go in straight-up, and someone's always going to find that bomb you planted."
<Crion> "But yeah we all got drunk or otherwise fucked up and exchanged Steam names."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Is it weird that I find the idea that, if vampires and werewolves exist, at least they game comforting?"
<Crion> "Don't think so," Lauren says. "They're people too."
<VoxPVoxD> "Yeah, exactly. So what does Prince Lister sound like?"
<Crion> Lauren: "Like a 13-year-old rich boy from Paris. English with a snooty accent, lapses into French a lot."
<Crion> "...But he knows the lingo? Like, it's weird hearing him yell 'owned?'"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "That makes me wonder. Vampires get really old, right? There was Father Jesse who said he was over 100, and the Sheriff made a joke about some thing that happened in the 1940s."
<VoxPVoxD> "So is there..." He types, <Lister french prince vampire>
<Crion> Has Stewart filed his report on Father Jesse yet?
<VoxPVoxD> Yeah, he did that immediately after waking up the next afternoon.
<Crion> "Haha. I saw that you met him." Lauren shakes her head. "I think vampires go to sleep for awhile, sometimes? But Father Jesse's a weird one."
<banana> Melanie: "One of the things that's kind of nice about this whole-" she gestures at the both of them- "is what it does for feminism."
<banana> "Like- the 'sheriff' you mention, various Queens, it's- it's like if everyone was born with a gun."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Hoom?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "It's funny, cause the night before Maggie had asked me what I thought vampire religion was like. And I figured it would be basically the same as religion already was. But I didn't think about how weird you could get with it if you wanted to."
<VoxPVoxD> "Father Jesse gets pretty weird with it."
<banana> "It's not great that we're in a millieu full of powerful, violent man-monsters? But nobody cares about atavistic stuff like upper body muscle mass."
<Crion> Lauren: "He started yelling at God, huh?"
<dammitwho> She nods agreeably. "Sure, level playing field. Or at least one all tilted the same way."
<banana> Glumly: "Down."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "While vaping and melting a guy."
<Crion> The Book dutifully returns an entry. It's perhaps less decisive than you'd like.
<banana> Melanie: "Are there a bunch of nice myths that have secretly always been true? What about the space aliens from antarctica who're going to save us from nuclear war.. or brilliant detectives using little grey cells to destroy all crime."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "I expect that depends on how the myths decide to act, innit? I'm referring to us, if that wasn't clear."
<dammitwho> "Though I guess we haven't had a nuclear war, so the space aliens must be doing a pretty good job." She chuckles to herself.
<banana> Melanie: "Okay, I guess so. Each of these new things just adds paint to a grim picture though? Like can people really be their best selves when they're under constant pressure from the unavoidable reality of Faerie and also, like, marauding vampires. Not to mention the stuff all the normal humans are doing."
<Crion> Lister was the son of a noble in the court of the Sun King, Louis XIV. It's hinted once or twice that he was actually Louis’s bastard son, which would have given him a claim -- however tenuous -- to the French crown. Usually, however, he claims to have been the child of one of the immortels of L'Académie Française, which Louis XIV brought under his patronage after taking the throne. He
<Crion> was embraced as a child, obviously, but it's unclear under what circumstances. In fact, there is basically no information about the time between then and when Lister showed up in Baltimore in 1985 and carved a bloody crest through the city's vampire scene, establishing independence from the Court of Washington, breaking ties with the Court of Philadelphia, and systematically murdering everyone
<Crion> sent Baltimore's way until they gave up their claims.
<Crion> Then, five years later, the Super NES was released. And he was bored.
<Crion> And the rest, as they say, is history.
<banana> Melanie: "I'm sorry about being worried all the time."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "...huh."
<Crion> Lauren: "I mean all things considered I think we'd rather he be gaming."
<VoxPVoxD> "That's even more true than it usually is."
<Crion> Twirling a finger through her hair. "So. This seems like it's set up."
<Crion> "You want to get some food?"
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Aw, don't worry about that. It's good to be worried about being a good person! Doesn't save you from being a bad one all on its own, but it at least points you in the right direction, huh?"
<dammitwho> "We live in a worrisome world."
<banana> Melanie's worried about being a person, period. "There's good stuff."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Yeah! Quite a bit, I'd say. But still."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's about to dive back in but the twirl catches the corner of his eye and he just looks at Lauren for a moment. "...yeah. There's pubs every which way and a Nepalese place down the street."
<Crion> "Nepalese sounds good!"
<Crion> Random question: has Lauren seen Stewart's bedroom yet?
<VoxPVoxD> The door's open but he hasn't given her a tour or anything.
<banana> Melanie: "I feel safe and comfortable here. Staying sane is higher up Maslow's hierarchy."
<Crion> Well, maybe he will soon. Anyhow, he can lead the way...and we can leave them to it, for tonight.
<banana> And to keep the wherehouse safe.. Proctor has to die.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Mmm. Is that why you're going to school? To stay sane?"
<banana> Melanie: "Three hundred years of incompetent musing, you know? I need to integrate it or be.. kept apart by the gap. Like my life and hers are north poles of a magnet. Progress is enough." But it's like a high that fades, and it gets harder to keep making progress.
<dammitwho> "Hoom. I don't know much about all that, but I'm glad you feel like you can tell me about 'er."
<banana> "I do feel a bit like a nerd at a party. You know, eyes lighting up pathetically when you ask them about their subject, only mine is like.. the world, or thoughts, or something."
<banana> "You're a bit of a chameleon Maggie."
<banana> "Taking an interest in everyone's interests. I want to see when you find what you want..."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Here now! There's nothing pathetic about it!" She grumbles. "Anyhow, I figured talking on it might be useful to you. Did Stewart ever tell you about those video games he showed me?"
<banana> Melanie: "No, I think he wrote me off when I asked if his stream game really needed all the clicking. What were they like?"
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Puzzles. Noodling out how some ancient civilization worked in order to fix a makeshift elevator, or getting a mess of pipes to all flow the right way in order to turn on some machine... You might like 'em. Anyhow, whenever I got stuck I found what made it easier was just talking about it, describing whatever had got me stymied out loud, you know? Of course it was just me in my
<dammitwho> apartment, so I talked to ol' Topper over there and it seemed to work just as well."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Anyway! My point being that I figured it might work just as well for you - describing your problems out loud instead of just in your head - so I asked you about 'em."
<banana> From: paperbark@summer.ctl
<banana> To: <alias-wherehouse>
<banana> Subject:
<banana> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EHabcUdU8AAoTR1?format=jpg&name=large
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<Crion> Well. That was quite a time at market. And quite a prize for it. The Ravens and even Santander seem impressed, though Santander's missive was delivered via e-mail. Seems something is consuming his and Kingsley's time right now.
<VoxPVoxD> Must be important.
<Crion> How's Stewart's channel going?
<VoxPVoxD> It's going well! Tonight is an AMA. Mostly questions about specific game mechanics and build advice, but a smattering of personal stuff too. Stewart's had to plead ignorance on whatever's going on in Hong Kong, though the chat is mollified because he'll talk shit about Blizzard all day. One question - "Are you single?" - gets a flustered non-answer.
<VoxPVoxD> "There's kind of - I don't know, it's new - next question."
<VoxPVoxD> His cheeks are red.
<Crion> Mmmmmm.
<Crion> Has he been using his new library box for research? Presumably he's been looking into something.
<VoxPVoxD> Naturally! After that first day it's been less responsive. The software tends to crash after a search, and then the machine's got to do some lengthy recovery-from-backup... Stewart can't find anything actually wrong with the hardware, so he takes it as some magical interdiction manifesting electronically. Don't dig too greedily, it seems to say, or too deep. Well fine then. Stewart will
<VoxPVoxD> just dig another way. You can punch the dirt in Minecraft with your bare hands.
<Crion> The narrator of this story is thankfully blissfully unaware of what happens when you dig too greedily and too deep in Minecraft, and so finds this acceptable.
<VoxPVoxD> He's got two recent searches under his belt - one on the Belvedere Hotel and one on Edgar Allan Poe.
<Crion> The Belvedere is relatively simple...for the first 4/5th of the return. He gets mainly what he'd get out of any wiki; built on the estate of a former Revolutionary War hero back when Baltimore was much smaller, and is a big to-do in Baltimore's cultural public life. There's an entry for the Owl Bar, which is odd, but mostly mundane. Maybe a bit strange that it focuses on how good the pizzas
<Crion> are? But they are good. ...There's also an entry for the 13th Floor Lounge. It is two grafs. The first reads, in full, HC SVNT DRACONES. The second reads: "Thirty pieces was ever so much a bargain."
<VoxPVoxD> So... dragons and Judas?
<Crion> The search on Poe returns basically a biography, except...he's referred to as a weird dilettante who fucked his cousin, but also a prominent occultist. And instead of "Death," that section is labelled "Reported Death." And then there's this section on the end which describes a collection of short stories he put out in...1879. And another in...1945? And the entry concludes with: "Edgar Allan
<Crion> Poe lives and works in Baltimore, Maryland."
<Crion> The critical response to those new collections seems mixed, though the links to the reviews don't seem to go anywhere.
<VoxPVoxD> ...ah.
<VoxPVoxD> This is seriously creepy. Hell yes.
<Crion> There's a ping from his computer. dolor_sit_amet has logged on.
<VoxPVoxD> !
<Crion> Sorry, clarification: his hex box.
<VoxPVoxD> Lauren gets a message almost immediately. <did you ever hear anything about e.a. poe still being alive>
<Crion> <E>
<Crion> <A>
<Crion> <poe>
<Crion> <he's fuckin lame>
<VoxPVoxD> <lol>
<Crion> <but ya i heard something about that. hes weird? keeps to himself>
<VoxPVoxD> <got it from spooky encarta. also something about the 13th floor of the belvedere having dragons and/or judas?? like bible judas>
<Crion> <..........stewart>
<Crion> <whos the other judas>
<Crion> <honestly>
<VoxPVoxD> <priest>
<Crion> <that's the same judas!!!!! they were just being edgy>
<VoxPVoxD> <point conceded>
<Crion> <anyway lets get dinner>
<VoxPVoxD> <yeah!! where>
<Crion> <there's joe squared which is a pizza place that does thin crust sourdough pizza. got a quattro fromaggio to hurt people about, and a flag pizza that also owns>
<Crion> <pesto, white sauce, red sauce>
<Crion> <there's other places but really i want a pizza>
<VoxPVoxD> <in>
<Crion> <its on north ave!!! i'll call in a reservation, and hack them if i can't get a reservation>
<Crion> What time has Stewart stopped streaming? Obviously it's before they stop seating guests at 10 PM.
<VoxPVoxD> AMA was an afternoon stream so his euro fans could get in on it. He's off the clock by six.
<Crion> 8 PM it is then. Joe Squared doesn't have a dress code but it looks like most of the doofy white guys in these pictures are, again, in jeans and button-ups.
<VoxPVoxD> Well, Stewart is a doofy white guy, and he just got some new nice shirts. Not to look good for Lauren or anything. He just felt inclined to expand his wardrobe on a whim. This one is ruby red.
<Crion> Parking's not plentiful, but it's a weeknight on North Avenue and Joe Squared has a dedicated parking lot. It's not quite full, and even if it was, its presence means Stewart could have parked on the street easily.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart doesn't mind a short walk, if it comes to that. It's a nice enough night, and there's only so many of those left before Stewart needs to shop for a winter jacket that looks good on him. Shopping for clothes was weirdly easier when he was fat.
<Crion> Lauren is waiting for him outside the restaurant in jeans, cute boots, and a blouse under a thin jacket-hoodie thing. She lights up when she sees him; literally, in the eyes.
<Crion> And when he's within five paces, she'll stride forward and hug him.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's able to keep his cool, though he's plainly happy to see her. He hugs her back, fiercely. "Hey."
<Crion> "Hi."
<Crion> Embarrassed, she'll pull back. "We've got a reservation for...now, basically. You're going to love this shit."
<VoxPVoxD> "I'm excited. You've got incredible taste in pizza."
<Crion> There's a harried host at the front station, he glances up and puts on a smile for you, though he's clearly panicking. "Hello!"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart smiles back. "Evening."
<Crion> "I'm sorry, there's a forty-minute wait, and--"
<Crion> Lauren: "We have a reservation?"
<Crion> Sweating more. "Name?"
<Crion> Her eyes narrow. "Ipsum."
<Crion> The host's hands kind of curl. "So, I have to apologize, we--"
<Crion> Suddenly, the point of sale system in front of him beeps.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's not sure he'll ever get over what a cool name Lauren Ipsum is.
<VoxPVoxD> ...or what a cool person Lauren Ipsum is.
<Crion> "Oh," he says. Then he smiles. "Oh! So. Sadly, your reservation was...booked, already, somehow, but! The manager has released some of our party rooms in the basement due to the overflow, and you'll get one to yourselves!"
<Crion> Lauren: "I'm going to be honest, I didn't know this place had a basement. But..." She looks around the place.
<Crion> It is, indeed, packed.
<VoxPVoxD> "Wow." Must be really good pizza.
<Crion> The host plucks two menus from the retainer they're in. "Please, follow me."
<Crion> He leads them through a comfortable and too-cozy main room -- there are five guys with three acoustic guitars, a string bass, and a drum kit setting up, good god -- and down a staircase that hitches back underneath the establishment. There's a turn-off for staffing and maintenance rooms, but right off the main hall on the landing are five doors: two on each side, and then one at the end of
<Crion> the hall.
<Crion> The host blinks twice, a bit oddly, as if startled...
<Crion> ...but confidently leads them down the hall and opens the door to the back room, which is a perfectly well-appointed private dining area.
<VoxPVoxD> Does Lauren seem surprised or confused at all?
<Crion> She seems to find this whole set-up a little strange, but she's more annoyed than anything.
<VoxPVoxD> That's our Lauren.
<Crion> Doing a decent job hiding it, though. Not like it's THIS guy's fault.
<Crion> He ushers them into the room, sets down the menus, and says a waiter will be with them shortly before exiting through the lone door. He's not wrong! A young lady dressed just like the host was hustles through and apologizes again for the arrangements, and asks if you need time to order.
<Crion> "My name's Karen," she says.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks at Lauren. "We'll take a minute. Can I get a Dark and Stormy?"
<Crion> She smiles. "Of course. I'm sorry, though, I need to see your IDs."
<Crion> "I'll get a Golden Monkey," Lauren says, handing hers over. Karen barely glances at it before nodding and handing it back.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart Reader's ID declares he was born October 26th, 1996. Like his name, only the first part is true.
<Crion> Karen smiles and nods through it, too. "I'll be right back!" She heads out very quickly, possibly because now one of the tables she has to work is fully down a flight of stairs and a hallway from the rest.
<Crion> Lauren, when she's gone: "Well, this is weird."
<VoxPVoxD> "Being down in the basement you mean?"
<Crion> "Yeah. Feels...open. Like, it's not the room itself, it's the feeling that I spent too much money on it."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Did you pay out of pocket?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart has no idea what Lauren makes, but she's indispensable to what seems to be a pretty rich law firm, so he assumes she does fine.
<Crion> Lauren rolls her eyes, which is a fun experience in the Mien because it backlights the sockets. "I didn't write off any food expenses last year. I'm guessing I've got some leverage."
<Crion> She opens up her menu. "We should split a pizza."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods. "So what are you thinking. Quattro fromaggio?"
<VoxPVoxD> "These all look good to me."
<Crion> She grins. "It's fantastic. I'm gonna order the biggest one, just for the leftovers."
<Crion> Karen returns with your drinks, along with a pitcher of ice water.
<Crion> "Are you ready to order?" she asks.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart lets Lauren order, since she's "paying".
<Crion> Lauren: "I am." She orders the largest version of the pizza -- the damn $25er -- and that'll be it for both of them.
<Crion> Karen: "Okay! The kitchen's a bit backed up, should I check in with you on drinks in oh, ten minutes?"
<Crion> Lauren smiles. "That'll be fine."
<VoxPVoxD> "Thank you so much."
<Crion> When Karen's gone: "I feel bad about making her come all the way down here."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah... we'll have to leave her a big tip."
<Crion> What do you talk about for the next ten minutes? If Stewart doesn't lead the conversation, it's gonna be stream wheedling.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart prefers to guide rather than lead conversations, so his instinct is to take whatever Lauren leads off with and play around with that. What kinda wheedling we talking?
<Crion> Lauren starts with normal stuff. Stewart's streaming PoE still, right? What's his current build?
<VoxPVoxD> It's late in the league so he's getting pretty weird with it. Currently working on a build to see how many Siege Ballistas he can get on the ground at once. He's up to 16.
<Crion> Lauren: "So when I pick up the stream it's a lot of stuff just...exploding? Is that how high level play always works? How much of it's automated."
<VoxPVoxD> He might be picking up Destiny 2 for the stream soon, and some other streamers are banging around trying to scare people up for an RPG live play show. "You can automate as much or as little as you like. My last build I had a lot of buttons to press, between Frostbolt and Vortex and my focus mods and keeping all my flasks up. Before that was Tornado Shot, which is mostly running around
<VoxPVoxD> and pressing one button and pianoing all the flasks."
<Crion> Lauren: "Pianoing?"
<Crion> "Oh, like--"
<VoxPVoxD> Wait, she's been watching the stream? Did she see-- Stewart's face is carefully bereft of concern. "You know, sort of pressing the buttons over and over again every few seconds. Yeah, you get it."
<Crion> She nods seriously. "How well is it going to work in the endgame content? Are you there yet?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I play a lot, so I've got enough currency stashed to make basically anything work in the endgame. Once you know the mechanics of the fights it's just about being able to meet certain DPS thresholds. It should work, though it won't be the prettiest, especially on Uber Elder."
<Crion> "Haha. Uber."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "The people who make PoE are huge nerds. Their lead guy was like, what if I put Diablo 2 on Magic the Gathering's business model? Which is the sort of question I'd be embarrassed to ask out loud, but now he's a millionaire, so."
<Crion> Lauren: "Yeah that happens, like, a lot? I assume there's a lot of really nerdy exclamations that don't end in financing points."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah. Anyway they got bought by Tencent and just launched a South Korean client, so between that and the Blizzard thing I had to appoint two more mods to keep the chat from going insane."
<VoxPVoxD> "What have you been working on?"
<Crion> Lauren laughs. "Ohhhhhhh man. Yeah. Oh, you can write those guys' subs off and like, paypal them."
<Crion> She gets more serious, and more smug. "Network security. We're trying to come up with a distributed security model that makes it so you can't take out any single redundancy and affect the overall impact. Not possible with currently existing technology, but damn if wizards don't help bridge the quantum gap."
<Crion> "Vampires aren't too shabby either for the footpad stuff."
<Crion> "Werewolves are kinda just himbos."
<Crion> She pauses. "Well, one of them's 12, so that'd be fucked up to say about him. But the adults? Yeah."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart snort-laughs. Himbos is a funny word. "They getting any better at Destiny?"
<Crion> Lauren giggles. "They're fucking INCREDIBLE at Destiny! Cuth and Kolsch save our asses in raids on the regular."
<VoxPVoxD> "I want to get in on that so bad. But I've had like no off-hours gaming time lately. I haven't even started Disco El-" And then the door's opening.
<Crion> ...And then it closes again.
<VoxPVoxD> ...?
<Crion> And out of the darkness walks a man in a red suit, smiling, and holding a pan with a gigantic pizza. Stewart's seen him before.
<Crion> But there are two people who just entered the room. The other is sauntering off to a corner.
<Crion> And she just erased the only door.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart leans back slightly.
<Crion> Smiling, the red-suited man steps up to the table. "I have good news and bad news."
<Crion> Lauren looks terrified.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks, uncharacteristically, angry.
<Crion> He leans forward. "Which do you want first."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Couch's choice."
<VoxPVoxD> Can he get a bead on where that other lady is going?
<Crion> He can. She's taken a seat in the corner of the room, over on the far end of the party tables.
<Crion> The red-suited man's grin widens. "Bad news flares."
<Crion> "So."
<Crion> "Karen's dead."
<Crion> "Well. Dying."
<Crion> "It turns out she has stage four pancreatic cancer. Do you know how that works? Stewart?"
<Crion> "Lauren?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Why would you do that?"
<Crion> The Counselor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_V7voaiHJ0 All your followers are blind; too much Heaven on their minds. It was beautiful but now it's sour.
<Crion> In the corner, the other one lounges. And stares.
<Crion> The red-suited man: "Because I could. Because I can. Because frankly, you little shits, you're hard to even have a conversation with."
<Crion> "And since you didn't answer the question, it involves vomiting blood. And crying. And screaming."
<Crion> "Just things that...happen, some days."
<Crion> He puts the big pizza down on the table between you. Lauren looks like she's going to be sick.
<Crion> "The good news! Your pizza was at the front of the line."
<Crion> "Eat."
<VoxPVoxD> And all the good you've done, will soon get swept away~
<Crion> Lauren sets her face and glares at the pizza.
<Crion> What does Stewart do?
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's voice is stony. "You didn't come to feed us. You didn't come to kill us. You didn't come to take us away."
<VoxPVoxD> "So what is it, mister valet? Have you come to bargain?"
<Crion> The red-suited man looks to where the door used to be, then back to the pizza, then back to where the door used to be, and then: "I didn't. Heh. I didn't come to-- hehehee!"
<Crion> "CLEARLY."
<Crion> He turns and slams his hands down on the table. "Clearly."
<Crion> "I did in fact come to feed you."
<Crion> "That is why it was good news."
<Crion> "Eat."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's narrow chest is heaving up and down. A more imposingly built man might give the impression he was about to come across the table. Stewart just sits there, staring at him.
<Crion> He leans forward. "EAAAAAAATTTTTTTT"
<Crion> Lauren whimpers, and grabs a slice.
<VoxPVoxD> Something deep and inarticulate in Stewart demands defiance, but seeing Lauren so scared breaks his resolve. He joins her almost immediately, averting his eyes.
<Crion> The pizza is...heavenly.
<Crion> And the red-suited man drags a chair over, sits down, and takes a slice himself.
<Crion> "God. God. So good."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart still struggles to get each bite down.
<Crion> Waving a finger around. "Kids, you made...a fantastic choice."
<Crion> "Never been here before. Never been! But what a slice. Even if it is square."
<Crion> The red-suited man pauses. "Should have expected that...Joe Squared. Joe. Powerful man."
<Crion> He finishes a slice, then another. Then another. Then another. He's gulping them down by the fifth, like a snake eating a rat whole. Like a grinning Satan sucking down a trout.
<Crion> "So good."
<Crion> Lauren stops after four slices, looking over at the red-suited man fretfully, but he seems fine with that degree of commitment.
<Crion> She hasn't touched her beer since he walked in.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart gets through two and a half at the same rate. He feels like his throat's closing up. Like he's having an allergic reaction.
<Crion> The red-suited man leans back and sighs contentedly. Then he sees that Stewart...hasn't finished his slice.
<Crion> "Do it."
<Crion> "Commit to something, you little shit."
<VoxPVoxD> He's a surgeon, masked and scrubbed under hostile lights, holding a scalpel artlessly in ungloved hands. He looks down at the body he cut open, digging until he hits the soul. You died, don't you remember? He's batting sixth for the Orioles, two on two out, 2-2 is the count, top of the 9th. Here's the pitch.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart just stares at the pizza.
<Crion> "Okay. Okay." The red-suited man reaches over, takes the half-finished slice, and finishes it himself. Slurps it down. "Okay."
<Crion> He turns to Lauren. "You know, I thought you had better taste."
<Crion> Then he pulls out a taser, and a handgun.
<Crion> He's not pointing them at anyone.
<Crion> The red-suited man grins at Stewart, opens his mouth, and clenches its grip in his teeth, still smiling. Then he chambers a round in the gun, drops the magazine, and tosses it into the darkness behind him.
<Crion> One shot.
<Crion> He takes the taser and thumbs the charger.
<Crion> The red-suited man: "We're going to play a game."
<Crion> "If you run, Karen dies. If you don't, Karen lives."
<Crion> "I think you're familiar with it," the red-suited man says to Stewart. "I'm going to ask you questions. And if you don't answer them, I'm going to hurt..."
<Crion> He gestures to Lauren. "Her."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's face is expressionless.
<Crion> The red-suited man assesses him. "Well. Surely you've got more of a reaction than that."
<VoxPVoxD> "Ask your questions."
<Crion> The red-suited man: "What would it take to make you violent?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Four parts methylone, two parts rarefied adrenaline, one part redantine. Inject epidurally, wait 25-40 minutes."
<VoxPVoxD> He sounds like he's reading off a homework assignment.
<Crion> "That's unfortunate." The taser whines, even though it's nowhere near Lauren--
<Crion> Then it snarls and snaps, and she shrieks, falling sideways out of her chair.
<Crion> He leans forward, grinning. "I never said what I'd do if I didn't like your answer."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart, distantly: "What kind of answers are you looking for?"
<Crion> Thump. Thump. Thump. THUMP. THUMP.
<Crion> All around the room, doors.
<Crion> There's a door where the door used to be. And there are doors everywhere else.
<Crion> The red-suited man: "Oh, for fuck's sake.';
<Crion> "Counselor."
<Crion> The woman at the other end of the room, now bracketed by doors to, ah, wherever...?: "I told you this was a bad idea."
<Crion> "Prepare an exit," the red-suited man says.
<Crion> Then...the door kicks open, and another man in a red suit dances into the room.
<Crion> Hip thrusting.
<Crion> But his face is painted white.
<VoxPVoxD> Ha.
<Crion> "Society!" The white-painted man says.
<Crion> "We...now me!...live in one."
<Crion> The red-suited man: "Counselor..."
<Crion> bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
<Crion> WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
<Crion> thpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthp
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion>
<Crion> The red-suited man: "What would it take to make you violent?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "An irreversible mistake."
<Crion> The red-suited man: "There's no such thing."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I'd like to hope so."
<Crion> He stands up, and Lauren stands up too, moving away. "My dear," he says, "You're not even a real person anymore. Karen, however, is."
<VoxPVoxD> "Don't talk to her like that."
<Crion> The red-suited man turns. "Or you'll do what?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Not a sermon. Just a thought."
<VoxPVoxD> "Or I'll take her, and we'll run, and whatever awful thing you do to Karen will be between you and your bosses."
<Crion> He laughs. "My bosses?"
<Crion> "My bosses love cancer."
<VoxPVoxD> "Then you'll get a bonus."
<VoxPVoxD> "But when we leave we're not taking that poison with us."
<Crion> He smiles beatifically. "That's fantastic--"
<Crion> He dives at Lauren with the taser and she shrieks and scrambles away.
<Crion> "Hahahahahah!" He does it again. She does it again.
<Crion> Then he snaps back towards Stewart. "But that's not an irreversible mistake."
<Crion> "Since there's no gun in your hand."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Is that what you're trying to do? Get me to pick up the gun?"
<Crion> He theatrically sighs. "Do you think I--no. Clever boy."
<Crion> "I will phrase it in the form of a statement: I didn't unload a gun and place it in front of you just for fun."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "You have to admit, from an outside perspective so far it kind of looks like that's exactly what you're doing."
<Crion> His smile broadens. "I specified just for fun."
<Crion> Then he spins to Lauren and raises the taser. "En garde!"
<Crion> "Here is my question," he says over his shoulder. "How many people you love would have to die before you took iron to your smug little search engine yourself?"
<Crion> "I'm just looking for a ballpark figure."
<Crion> "And average Major League Baseball attendance is somewhere around 26,000."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "You're looking at it the wrong way. The more people I love you take away from me, the less I have except my research. The more jealously I guard it. Why am I telling you this? You're a wizard."
<Crion> Lauren: "MOTHERFUCKER!"
<VoxPVoxD> Is she... yelling at Stewart?
<Crion> "Heh! Hah!" The red-suited man lunges at her. "ho!"
<Crion> No.
<VoxPVoxD> Whew.
<Crion> The red-suited man straightens.
<Crion> "You know." He points at Lauren. "I thought you'd like pizza more than this."
<Crion> From the corner of the room: "I would suggest we make our point and depart."
<Crion> The red-suited man rolls his shoulders. "No, I want one more shot at this. Okay. Okay. Hooooo. Karen's vomiting blood. Pretty much dead. Gotta get myself in the mindset of not caring about that at all."
<Crion> He charges the taser; it whines. "Stewart Reader! If that is in fact your name."
<Crion> He points it at Lauren. "How do you intend to keep her safe?"
<Crion> From the corner of the room: "We need to go."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "She's giving you the run-around, and I'm faster than her. I can get in your face before you can close the gap. Maybe you'd kill her to get to me. Would you kill me to get to her?"
<Crion> He cackles. "That's not an answer! And I'd kill you for freeeeeee"
<Crion> Then he dives forward.
<VoxPVoxD> The red-suited man lunges for Lauren again, but there's a whirl of orange sparks and he's bumping chests with Stewart. Not a lot of meat on Reader's bones, but he's got an inch or two on the dark magician. At best, they'll go down together.
<Crion> The red-suited man lands on top of Stewart...but the fangs of the taser land in the floor. "Huh," he says.
<Crion> "Maybe I'd charge."
<Crion> The taser begins to whine---
<Crion> The Counselor stands and walks out into the light. "We need to leave."
<Crion> Atop Stewart, Society giggles angrily. "Why?"
<Crion> "We've spent too long here, doing too much stupid shit," she says.
<Crion> "Okay," says Society, standing up, brushing off Stewart's shirt, walking back past the table, taking another slice. "Okay. Stupid shit."
<Crion> Counselor: "I've told you time and time again that--"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's shaking all over. With fear or rage? Hard to tell.
<Crion> Society hits her across the face.
<VoxPVoxD> Could be both.
<Crion> "Now," he says, a smile curling over him, "say what you mean."
<Crion> Counselor straights and spits out blood. "You don't want these problems."
<Crion> The man in the red suit surges forward and seizes her by the throat. "You cannot conceive of the problems I want."
<Crion> Then he turns, and grins at Stewart. "We'll continue this conversation later. I look forward to meeting your pain."
<Crion> Still being choked, the Counselor waves her hand, and both of them fall into the floor.
<Crion> The door to the room...reappears.
<Crion> And someone knocks three times.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart gets up , dusts himself off. Where's Lauren? He'll go for the door and, with a deep breath, open it.
<Crion> There are three people on the other side of the door. The first is Fireman, who will nod and sweep by Stewart into the room, examining it. The second is a grinning woman in jeans and a duster who gives Stewart an angry, apprising eye then shoves past him. The third is an incredibly handsome man greying at the temples, wearing white sweatpants, a white hoodie, and a priest's colar.
<Crion> *collar
<Crion> "Stewart Reader," he says.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "They went through the floor."
<VoxPVoxD> Is the gun still on the table?
<Crion> It is.
<Crion> Pardon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKSu7RT2wN0 I want to be the very best, the best there ever is; the quickest draw, the toughest motherfucker in these lands.
<Crion> Jesuit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nak4OVJlhAU There will come a day my God will come, and put me in my place.
<Crion> The man in all white smiles beatifically. "I don't give a shit where Society went. I know that man."
<Crion> Lauren is upright and getting calm.
<Crion> Fireman is over near her, checking out the room and watching over her with no small amount of protectiveness. The woman with the guns is poking around where Counselor was.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's beside her in an instant. He holds her, arms around her waist from behind like they're slow dancing, unless she waves him off.
<Crion> She does not. Lauren will, in fact, turn and kiss him.
<VoxPVoxD> He returns the kiss with interest.
<Crion> Sardonically, from the table: "Well that's not very Catholic."
<Crion> The man in all white is eating an untouched slice.
<VoxPVoxD> At some point they come up for air, and then Stewart remembers. "Karen, the server, he said she was--"
<Crion> "She's fine."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart practically melts into Lauren's arms with relief.
<VoxPVoxD> "Who are you?"
<Crion> The man in all white finishes the slice. "I mean, we're going to have to a cancer scare and pretend she's had a miraculous recovery, and she'll have relatives worrying about her for the rest of her life."
<Crion> "I'm Jesuit."
<Crion> "You're Stewart. You're Lauren."
<Crion> "Are you still hungry?"
<Crion> "This place doesn't just serve pizza."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks at Lauren.
<Crion> Lauren manages to make it so only Stewart sees her hand motion that means "a little bit."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We could eat."
<Crion> Jesuit nods. "Pardon!"
<Crion> The woman investigating the corners sighs and walks over.
<Crion> Jesuit: "Ask Steven upstairs to get us a Flag pizza, and grab a box for this while you're up there."
<Crion> She rolls her eyes.
<Crion> Jesuit: "And shoot anyone who looks like a Seer with a taser."
<Crion> Pardon: "You're lucky I like you."
<Crion> Jesuit: "Luck's fake."
<Crion> Fireman takes the door as she walks out.
<Crion> Jesuit to Stewart and Lauren: "If you want to keep eating, don't touch the pieces on this side. We might be able to do something with them."
<Crion> He indicates the pieces that are around the slices that Society took.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I think I'm good on this one."
<Crion> Then Jesuit will just pick up the tray and put it over on another table.
<Crion> After doing so, he'll sit down again. To Lauren: "I was afraid, for you."
<Crion> Lauren: "I'm good at dodging, running away, falling on the floor, so on."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart snorts.
<Crion> "Good enough, I guess."
<Crion> Soon, a crab pizza returns...delivered by...
<Crion> Karen!
<Crion> She seems fine.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's hungrier than he realized.
<Crion> "Drinks?" she asks, pulling up the pitcher. The ice is all melted. All their beers are warm.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's eyes flutter closed for a moment before he says, "Can I get a ginger beer?"
<Crion> Karen beams. "Of course!"
<Crion> Lauren: "I'll have another Golden Monkey. Thanks!"
<Crion> Jesuit: "Water, with ice."
<Crion> Karen nods and heads back upstairs.
<Crion> Jesuit stares at the pitcher that's there. "Room temperature water."
<Crion> "So it goes."
<Crion> He won't be the first to take a slice of the crab pizza.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's got one. Well he did. It's gone now.
<Crion> Lauren digs in, too.
<Crion> So Jesuit puts on a bib -- white on white on white -- and takes up a slice.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart supposes you get to dress ridiculous when you're that good-looking.
<Crion> He finishes the slice and smiles, then coughs slighty.
<Crion> He looks over at Stewart. "So."
<Crion> "This can't happen again."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods in agreement. Rude to talk with your mouth full.
<Crion> Lauren: "How do we stop that?"
<Crion> She looks at Stewart here, not Jesuit.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We could take iron to the token after all. Though I don't know if that'd do it at this point. He seemed mad at the end there."
<Crion> Jesuit nods. "You could do that. There might be a better option, but it hinges on how often you want to see guys in track suits ordering crab pizza."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "You haven't taken a taser to my girlfriend yet, so I'm tentatively pro-you."
<Crion> He chuckles and eats another slice. Normally. Not like, inhaling it.
<Crion> "Here's my proposition."
<Crion> "You move the book -- or whatever it is, a computer? -- to the 13th Floor Lounge at the Belvedere. We put it in a side room right next to the restrooms. I've got it perfectly in mind. Very maintenance."
<Crion> "You or your designees have full access."
<Crion> "And if this man wants you to live in a Society, well. He can take it up with us."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks at Lauren. Her face doesn't show any literal or figurative warning signs, does it?
<Crion> Nope, though she is sneaking looks at Stewart whenever she thinks he isn't--ah, now she's looking away.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart chews the inside of his cheek gently to keep from smiling. He looks back at Jesuit. "I'm not opposed in principle. There are two things I need to know. One is, I need to run this by Kingsley and Santander. I'm sure they'll be okay with it when they hear what happened."
<Crion> Jesuit chuckles. "No, I don't think so."
<Crion> He pauses. "Not to the proposition."
<Crion> "They just won't be happy to hear Lauren was chased by a madman with a taser."
<Crion> Lauren: "Ugh."
<Crion> Lauren's moved her chair next to Stewart's.
<VoxPVoxD> "Right, which is why I think they'll back a plan that stops that from happening again. The second is, I paid for it. Goblin debt is kind of abstract, but if it's passing into your hands there's some risk of the burden transferring, I think? My Goblin Law's not great yet."
<Crion> Jesuit: "You bake it, you fake it, you slake it, you break it, or you Drake it, you buy it. Is what they say."
<Crion> "That said: Goblins don't care about real estate on this side. If we put it in a room, it still belongs to you, unless we try to use it."
<Crion> Jesuit gestures at the room, which is replete with singe scars. "And frankly we can ask our own dangerous oracles our own dangerous questions."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Okay. Then unless Santander and Kingsley throw up stop signs I'm provisionally in favor of moving it over."
<VoxPVoxD> "So... there's a wizard war on?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Sorry if that's a super ignorant question."
<Crion> Jesuit laughs and eats another slice. "It is and it isn't."
<Crion> "I've got this guy who shows me these pictures from the internet. You know. The tiny brain, bigger, bigger, bigger, BIGGER. And ideological or theological positions right next to them."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods. "Galaxy brain memes."
<Crion> Jesuit points. "Yes. Sure."
<Crion> "So the first one is always 'wizard war.' But the last one?"
<Crion> "It's also always 'wizard war.'"
<Crion> Lauren focuses on her pizza.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "So it's like how the Civil War was about slavery, except it wasn't, except it obviously was."
<Crion> Jesuit sort of frowns and furrows his brow at Stewart three or four times before responding: "Yyyyyes."
<Crion> "The Civil War was about slavery. Yes."
<VoxPVoxD> "What's your war about?"
<Crion> Jesuit: "Reaching heaven through violence." He eats another slice.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Is that... good or bad to do?"
<Crion> Jesuit pauses as he reaches for another crab slice, and smiles. "That's the war."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah but, which side are you on?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Which side correlates with not trying to torture Lauren, I guess is what I'm asking."
<Crion> "Heaven's," he says, picking up the pizza. "And violence's."
<VoxPVoxD> "Is that why they care so much about the token? Because it's a source of knowledge?"
<Crion> Jesuit: "Yes and no. The main reason they care isn't the knowledge, because if they didn't think you could do anything with it, why should they? What they care about is agency."
<Crion> "They care about what knowledge allows you to do."
<Crion> "God loves," he says, downing the slice.
<Crion> "Man kills."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "So they're fascists."
<Crion> Jesuit's laugh is more bitter this time. "They are, somehow, worse than fascists."
<Crion> "But they're in that set, yes."
<Crion> Lauren: "...How will we be safe?"
<Crion> Jesuit: "You never will, and you always will."
<Crion> He gestures around the room. "Deleting all the doors from a room and giving a woman ersatz cancer? That takes some doing. And then he still had to chase you around the room with a taser."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah it was this weird spot where they seemed kind of hamstrung but also like overkill? Your magic seems real complicated."
<Crion> Jesuit: "It's a lot like religion. You want a lot of people pretending to do something else, alongside each other, for purpose."
<Crion> He waves a hand and downs another slice. When he's done: "Order whatever you want to take home from the kitchen. Your bill's on us. We should have seen this coming."
<VoxPVoxD> "Hey, can I ask you one more question?"
<Crion> He puts five twenties folded over on the table. "This is for Karen, and the parking ticket she's just gotten because she was asked to stay late."
<Crion> Jesuit nods. "Questions don't imply answers, so yes."
<VoxPVoxD> "...do you know Father Jesse?"
<Crion> Jesuit just smiles. "Surely do."
<Crion> "How's Jesse doing."
<Crion> "These days."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods, as if this knowledge itself satisfies him. "Surviving, I guess. Ranting at God. He likes the grape vape cartridges."
<Crion> Jesuit nods again. "That sounds like him. I hope he finds peace. Or at least a better flavor."
<Crion> Then he stands. "Lauren, Stewart. God be with you both."
<Crion> "And to hell with the trappings of man."
<Crion> As he walks out, Pardon and Fireman will join him. Fireman makes certain to nod at you both before leaving.
<VoxPVoxD> When they're alone: "Fuuuuuuuuuuck."
<VoxPVoxD> To Lauren: "How are you doing?"
<Crion> She will answer by pulling Stewart into a kiss. Unless he's got pizza in his mouth.
<VoxPVoxD> He does not.
<VoxPVoxD> Man, if he'd known this was going to be the result he would've jumped in front of a taser-wielding superfascist wizard weeks ago.
<Crion> Thirty-some seconds later, she'll lean back in her chair (she pulled her's next to his awhile back). "A waitress got pancreatic cancer because of us. Then she got cured, and a 100 dollar tip."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart raises a finger. "Hold on."
<VoxPVoxD> "She got cancer because of them."
<Crion> "I suppose," she says, reaching into her jeans. "I'm putting another twenty on here anyway."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart watches her do it and then follows suit.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "It's getting pretty late. I can take you home, or we could..." he trails off.
<Crion> Karen returns. They've only finished half the crab pizza. The other pizza -- the quattro frommagio -- has been mysteriously removed. She either doesn't see the tip or is ignoring it on purpose. "I'm so sorry. It got busy upstairs. You've been paid for, so should I just box this up...?"
<Crion> Lauren: "Please!"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Thanks!"
<Crion> When she brings back the box and expertly puts the pizza away for the both of you, she then realizes there is $140 on the table in cash. She starts, smiles, and says, "Your bill has been paid."
<Crion> Lauren: "That's for you."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "You had to come all this way, and you never missed a beat."
<Crion> "I...I..."
<Crion> "Thank you so much."
<Crion> When you hit the air outside, it's crisp and clean.
<VoxPVoxD> Feels good to get out of that basement.
<VoxPVoxD> Feels good to have an arm around Lauren.
<Crion> Lauren breathes in, and breathes out, then leans into Stewart's shoulder. "Let's go back to your place."
<VoxPVoxD> Lauren's close enough that she can probably feel his pulse quicken. When he speaks, though, it's slow and deliberate.
<VoxPVoxD> "Next time we go out: tacos."
<Crion> "Mmmm." She drags her nose from his neck, across his cheek, to his own. Her eyes are lively and burning. "Deal."
<Crion> He's gotta carry the pizza, though.
<VoxPVoxD> Gladly. All else aside, she was right. Joe Squared is incredible.
<Crion> --Fin.
<VoxPVoxD>
<VoxPVoxD>
<VoxPVoxD>
<VoxPVoxD>
<VoxPVoxD>
<VoxPVoxD> The elevator door slides open and Stewart walks in with two big bags from the grocery store full of meat and produce. The Wherehouse goes through food fast. He's... whistling?
<VoxPVoxD> The elevator door slides open and Stewart walks in with two big bags from the grocery store full of meat and produce. The Wherehouse goes through food fast. He's... whistling?
<dammitwho> "Heyo!" Maggie is dragging a few twos by four over to a pile in a disused corner. Building proper ceilings for their individual rooms is an intermediate step towards having a functional second floor.
<VoxPVoxD> "Maggie! Hey! How are you doing? I made a grocery run."
<VoxPVoxD> He sets the bags down on the kitchenette's counters. "Need any help with the wood?"
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Nope! Just finishing up. We're all gonna have to watch a lot more DIY Your Tube videos before I'll feel like we can put up a second floor that'll stay up."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "You think Hedgespinning will respect our engineering skills?"
<dammitwho> "Maybe not, but I'd just as soon know enough to make the letter of the law match the spirit."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's putting groceries away. Lot of ground beef, chicken thighs, pork chops... "That makes sense. Hey, Lauren showed me a really good pizza place in the city I want to take you guys to at some point. They're so good they don't even deliver."
<VoxPVoxD> "Their four cheese is so good even getting attacked by wizards didn't ruin the experience."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Oh? One of those places where they have pictures of not-really-famous Italian guys on the attacked by what now?"
<dammitwho> Maggie's heartrate shoots up, but Stewart was whistling and casual when he came in. He's alright, Lauren's alright. Cripes, kid.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart, brightly: "Yeah, it was fucked up! You remember that thing I bought at the market? The magical computer encyclopedia?" He opens the fridge again. "I'm getting one of these ginger beers I just got, you want one?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart sways lightly as he reaches into the fridge.
<dammitwho> Maggie, delicately: "Sure. Why don't you let me pour while you have a sit down there, hoss?"
<dammitwho> Before you fall down...?
<VoxPVoxD> "They're in cans!" says Stewart, who doesn't quite use his indoor voice. "It's. It's in cans." He'll collapse into the armchair nearest the kitchenette, which is next to the armchair Maggie favors. As if propelled upward by the force of his fall, his right leg bounces up to cross over the other knee. Kss.
<dammitwho> In that case, Maggie will hand him an opened can and some folded up paper towels just in case, before retiring to her chair with her own beer.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart folds up the paper towel three times and puts it between the can and the arm of the chair as an ersatz coaster. "Anyway, the evil wizards got mad that I had it. I dunno how they found out. Maybe they had some kind of trace or notification set up when I was researching the Belvedere. That's wizard territory. But, it's the nice wizard territory. Lauren took me there on our first
<VoxPVoxD> date."
<VoxPVoxD> "Or... maybe nice is the wrong word. Even the good ones are kind of too intense to be nice."
<VoxPVoxD> "Not like you guys are nice."
<VoxPVoxD> "You guys are so nice."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Thank you, Stewart. Now, you say they attacked you...?" Gonna have to get him some of that Gatorade drink.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "So we go in, right, and the place is packed. Looks like there won't be room for us even though Lauren made a reservation. But the register dings, and as luck would have it, instead we get a private room to ourselves." Sip. "One of the party rooms in the basement, just the two of us. I'm thinking, kind of weird, but kind of cool. Privacy, right? To talk about whatever."
<VoxPVoxD> "Our server comes in - this really nice lady named Karen, who has to run like the whole length of the building just to get to us from upstairs - and we order. We start talking. A little while later the door opens, and it's not Karen. It's two wizards."
<VoxPVoxD> "One of them makes the door disappear. So it's just four walls, the four of us, and the table. The other one has our pizza."
<VoxPVoxD> "And right away he starts in on this patter. Good news bad news. And he's grinning so wide. Real movie Satan hours, you know?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Now I've seen this guy before. He was watching me park at the Belvedere, that first time. Shortish guy, handsome, slick hair, red suit. Like I said, movie devil."
<VoxPVoxD> "So he says do you want the good news or the bad news first. Like he had this whole call and response patter worked out but he was the only one who got the script. This is- this is gonna be a theme, we'll come back to that."
<dammitwho> Maggie's breathing a little heavier than normal, and she takes a drink to cover.
<VoxPVoxD> "We're too freaked out to answer so he has to guide us along. He gives us the bad news first. Karen has cancer, he says. Stage IV Pancreatic. Your guts dissolving and turning inside out. You know to give us some stakes, I guess." He takes another sip. "I looked it up after. There is no Stage V."
<VoxPVoxD> "The good news is, apparently, our pizza was ready!"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart unconsciously blinks back his tears. "So then he says, eat."
<VoxPVoxD> "Except he doesn't say it like that, he says," and Stewart produces a sound you wouldn't think his throat could make, something high and hard and husky and full of urgent, hungry menace. "EAT!!"
<VoxPVoxD> Another sip. "We don't, obviously, because what the fuck."
<dammitwho> Stewart's doing a really good job of conveying this guy's... essence, or something. Are changelings naturally good actors? It would make sense. Maggie: "Go on."
<VoxPVoxD> "But he keeps at us, cause there's a way this goes, right? He blocked this out in his head and there's a rhythm. So he just bears down on us until we start eating. Lauren's almost crying, my throat isn't even opening all the way. But we eat."
<VoxPVoxD> "Then he takes out a gun. Puts it on the table."
<VoxPVoxD> Takes out a taser. Or a stun gun, I guess. It's not the kind that throws the little wires that stick onto someone. It's the size and shape of an electric razor. You gotta get in real close."
<VoxPVoxD> "Then he says, we're going to play a game."
<VoxPVoxD> "If you run, Karen dies. If you don't, Karen lives."
<VoxPVoxD> "The game is, he asks me questions. If I don't answer the questions, or I answer wrong," Long sip. "He hurts Lauren."
<dammitwho> He was happy when he came in. She needs to remember that.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "The first question he asks is, what would it take to make me violent? And I answer--" He furrows his brow, suddenly concentrating. Perhaps the day-drinking is clouding his memory. "--no, yeah, I said, 'an irreversible mistake'. Which is dumb, right? It's sort of abstract and disconnected and a little corny. It's a real I-Am thing to say." That's what he says. He says
<VoxPVoxD> I-Am. "The guy doesn't like the answer, so he goes to take the taser to Lauren."
<dammitwho> "And...?"
<VoxPVoxD> "She practically falls out of the chair scrambling away - it's a big room, remember. They reserve these for parties, so there's some space to run around when it's just us. He goes for her and he can't connect and after a little bit he gives up. And he asks another question."
<VoxPVoxD> "Cause he said to Lauren, he said, you're not even a real person anymore. But Karen was. So hold still, was the implication."
<VoxPVoxD> "I said, don't talk to her like that. Which is also fucking corny. Like, step away from my girl, buster! What the fuck was I thinking."
<VoxPVoxD> "Anyway, then he asks me the next question, which was, you know, or else what?"
<VoxPVoxD> "So I say, I'll take her, and we'll run, and you know. I don't negotiate with terrorists, I guess. That was what I decided to say."
<VoxPVoxD> "So he goes for Lauren again."
<VoxPVoxD> "This time she dives under an empty table - banged her thigh real bad on one of the legs, she showed me later - and he still can't connect. And you know, I guess she held out long enough for the patter to keep going. This whole time the gun's still on the table. And I only just then figure out what it's for. He's trying to get me to pick it up. To take a shot at him. To find, I don't know,
<VoxPVoxD> the killer instinct."
<VoxPVoxD> "It's just got one in the chamber, he took the cl- the magazine out."
<VoxPVoxD> "Third question - and this is where I figure out what's got him so het up - is he asks me how many people I love have to die before I take iron to the book myself?"
<VoxPVoxD> "And I was thinking - I was thinking of Santander, one of the high-ups in the Autumn Court. The Lord Sage. He's really cool, but in a lonely way, right? Up in his tower by himself, doing everyone's taxes. Living for other people. So I thought about what it'd look like, if you know he killed Lauren. If he killed you guys. Would I give it up? And I realized: no, I wouldn't. Cause if all the
<VoxPVoxD> people I loved were gone, the magic would be all that was left."
<VoxPVoxD> He doesn't seem to realize he's crying now.
<dammitwho> Maggie sniffles a little.
<VoxPVoxD> "He goes for Lauren again, but he just cannot fucking connect. She's not doing ninja flips or anything like that, she's not- you know, she's the brain, brains can't jump. So it's ugly and graceless and it's scary every second but he can't get her."
<VoxPVoxD> "The Judas lady in the corner is like, we gotta wrap this up. You know, like they're on a clock."
<VoxPVoxD> "Red suit man says one more question."
<VoxPVoxD> "And Judas lady doesn't like it, but obviously she's not the boss. She's just standing there watching."
<VoxPVoxD> "So then he asks me, what would I do to keep her safe? Keep Lauren safe."
<dammitwho> Thinking about Stewart Reader conceiving himself as the brawn in a brains-and-brawn duo. Or perhaps beauty? Either way.
<VoxPVoxD> He meant of the Autumn Court!! sheesh
<VoxPVoxD> "And I say, well you can't catch her, and I'm faster than her, so I'd just run interference. And that answer's not good enough either. You know I fucking hate that? When someone asks you an open-ended question and they obviously have an answer in mind but they just get pissed at you for not guessing correctly on the first try?"
<VoxPVoxD> "I say, you're clearly willing to kill her to get to me. Are you willing to kill me to get to her?"
<VoxPVoxD> "He says he'd kill me for free, so I figure, fuck it. Let's give him the chance. I run up and sort of jump over Lauren as he's going for her, and we end up kind of body-checking each other."
<VoxPVoxD> We fall down. The taser scorches the floor a little."
<VoxPVoxD> "Judas lady says we really have to go. So now I guess he's frustrated enough to get mad at her."
<VoxPVoxD> "Just, fuckin, belts her across the face. She spits blood."
<VoxPVoxD> "Then he's got his hands around her throat."
<VoxPVoxD> "But something's happened, something's clearly happened, cause they leave. Before he goes he says, we'll continue this conversation later. I look forward to meeting your pain."
<VoxPVoxD> "And they just, melt through the floor, and they're gone."
<VoxPVoxD> "And then someone knocks on the door, which is back now."
<VoxPVoxD> "Lauren's sprawled out on the floor, she's bruised and crying and fucking terrified."
<VoxPVoxD> "But I, suavely, go for the door."
<VoxPVoxD> "And then three more wizards walk in. These are good wizards. I know cause I recognize one of them. Fireman, he works at the Belvedere. He helped me out when those fake wizard cops were messing with me that first night."
<VoxPVoxD> "The leader's this kind of bald-ish guy all in white, wearing a priest's collar. He says his name is Jesuit. He says the red suit man's name is Society."
<VoxPVoxD> "I let them in and tell them where Society and the Judas lady went, and he's like, I don't care. I know that man. And I'm like, whatever. His song's really intense so I just roll with it. Fireman's checking on Lauren, so I go over to her and make sure she's alright, and she basically is. Then I remember Karen."
<VoxPVoxD> "Jesuit says they're taking care of Karen, that when they're done she'll have had a bad scare but she'll be okay."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Did they fix Karen-- good..."
<VoxPVoxD> "So then what they do is... they ask if we're still hungry."
<VoxPVoxD> "And then they order another pizza. Crab pizza. ALSO very good, if you're curious."
<VoxPVoxD> "And we talk a little bit. He tells me about the wizards and their war. They're fighting over, I dunno, Heaven? Who gets to go to Heaven? It was very philosophical and I don't think I really understand it."
<VoxPVoxD> "And we work out a, a solution, so I don't have to destroy the book but Lauren's-- we're safe, you know? Put it in the Belvedere, where I can use it whenever. I say, you know, sure, as long as Kingsley and Santander sign off. They're friends with the good wizards, or, I don't know, I've never seen them interact. They're allies at least."
<VoxPVoxD> "And we eat some pizza and catch our breaths and leave a huge tip for Karen, who comes in to box up our pizza to take home."
<dammitwho> "Probably wouldn't see them interact even if they were friends," she murmurs.
<VoxPVoxD> "You're probably right."
<VoxPVoxD> "And then Lauren and I go home. That was night before last."
<VoxPVoxD> "So how's your day going?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart belatedly dries his eyes.
<dammitwho> Is his can empty at this point?
<VoxPVoxD> Yeah.
<dammitwho> She stands, stretches, walks over to the refrigerator and takes out a small sports drink bottle. (It's just good sense to stock those now. Better than dealing with a hungover goose.) She returns to stand behind Stewart's chair, gently takes his empty beer can and replaces it with the plastic bottle, and pats his shoulder. "M'proud of you, Stewart. You did the right thing all along the line."
<VoxPVoxD> For some reason this makes him lose it again. Face in his hands, dry gasping sobs.
<dammitwho> It's hard to hug someone from behind while they're sitting in a chair while leaning forward, so she has to kind of go around the side and crouch down and put her arm around his shoulders.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart leans into it, and takes the sports drink when Maggie gets back up. "I don't think being a wizard makes you more like Them. But if you already had the inclination, being a wizard means you won't be able to help yourself."
<dammitwho> She nods. "I did wonder whether the evil wizards chose the one of their number most like a Keeper to do the job, or if they were just all like that."
<VoxPVoxD> "They can't all be like him."
<dammitwho> "No," She says, "I suppose not."
<VoxPVoxD> "Anyway, Lauren's okay, I'm okay. It's okay."
<dammitwho> "Hooooo."
<VoxPVoxD> "It's funny cause most of the time I've been feeling really good. Work's going well, magic stuff is going well, I've got the 24 hour Halloween stream tomorrow. Lauren and I are - it feels like we're a couple now, you know? Instead of, kind of, courting."
<dammitwho> "Heh. Courting."
<VoxPVoxD> "Heh."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Stewart? This may sound like changing the subject a little, but I know you make your living where people watch you play video games on your Tube there. I'm assuming that sort of thing is pretty popular, all told. Probably been going on for a while, lots of different games involved?"
<dammitwho> "What, in your opinion, is the best, uh, matchup of the past? The Super Bowl of video gamesmanship."
<VoxPVoxD> "Youtube. Your tube sounds- nevermind."
<VoxPVoxD> "What do you mean?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Like a competitive matchup?"
<dammitwho> She nods. "Could be. I mean like people go back and watch old football matches, yeah? The most thrilling championships."
<dammitwho> "For streaming the games, what is the thing that people say 'Oh wow, remember when--?'"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Yeah there's a whole field of video game streaming where people play competitive games in tournaments for money. It's called, uh, eSports."
<VoxPVoxD> "It's not really my thing, nowadays, though there's a lot of games that are popular. League, Dota, Counterstrike... back in the day, though," back before "the main thing that was around to get into was professional Starcraft. Years and years before eSports got big anywhere else, people were playing Starcraft: Brood War in stadiums in front of huge screaming live audiences in South Korea."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Huge? Like...?"
<VoxPVoxD> "There were these huge teams, sponsored by big Korean tech companies. It got broadcast on for-real TV. You'd get people staying up until 4 in the morning to watch shitty bootleg streams with commentary they couldn't even understand."
<VoxPVoxD> "Like thousands."
<dammitwho> "Golly."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Did you watch that?"
<VoxPVoxD> "The Pro League - that was what the team tournament was called, where whole teams would play against each other instead of individual players competing for prizes - was actually played outside, on a beach. Gwanganri."
<VoxPVoxD> "I did."
<VoxPVoxD> "They made a Starcraft 2 and that was really big for a while but I, I missed all that."
<VoxPVoxD> "So I only really know from Brood War."
<VoxPVoxD> "But Brood War had some great matchups. Boxer and Yellow, Bisu and Savior. The best, though, the absolute best, was Jaedong and Flash."
<dammitwho> "Hoorm. Think you could get it to play on the TV in here?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "For sure, a lot of it's up on Youtube and even has English commentary now."
<VoxPVoxD> "Did you want to see it? It'll be kind of hard to follow..."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "I'm not so green as I'm grass-colored, boy. I bet between you and the announcers I can get the gist."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Alright, let me set it up."
<VoxPVoxD> It takes a little bit to buffer the VODs with the through-Hedge internet, but it works. Lauren's so smart. He misses her so much.
<VoxPVoxD> But eventually it's up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCghDY-pYl4
<dammitwho> It doesn't really matter if Maggie follows the game at all, anyhow. It'll give Stewart something to fall asleep to, and give Maggie something to keep her mind off the thought that's intruded into her head. It's in deep, thoroughly uncomfortable, but impossible to deny, like a thorn that's grown up under her tongue. Painful, but you can't stop poking it with your tongue to see if it's still
<dammitwho> there.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart, indeed, falls asleep pretty quick.
<dammitwho> She sighs a little. Maybe she should write this 'Society's name and description down. It might make her feel better, having something on paper. Or maybe this will all be gone tomorrow.
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<Crion> Shopping was fun! And it's been an uneventful (generally speaking; Stewart might disagree) couple of days since then as you get all your goodies back to the Wherehouse and installed and so on. The Pigs seem to have fully retreated from the Hedge, so while it's not 'safe' -- the Hedge is never safe -- the hobs trundling about are fully back to normal. Steve has been about, though the main way
<Crion> he's interacted with you all in the past few days is triumphally killing a final Watermelon Boy who slipped away in the confusion of the Walking Man's arrival, and leaving its delicious carcass in the Hedge-street outside.
<trenchfoot> Good Steve.
<VoxPVoxD> Hopefully Steve didn't swallow the seeds. The childhood myth about them growing in your stomach might literally be true in the Hedge.
<Crion> As for the Loyalists, they've been strangely absent from this part of the Hedge recently, possibly still licking their wounds in their own Hollow...except for Loser, who apparently is spotted sneaking about between the Hollow and various Hedge portals on an infrequent basis. Whatever she's doing, she seems to be steering well clear of you -- or of exploration in general.
<Crion> The conventional wisdom would state that eventually that'll change, though. Either because the Wherehouse acts on its orders, or because enough time passes that they feel confident poking their heads out again. Before this was your territory, after all, it was theirs. To the extent that this ever-changing maze has set territories.
<CBN> Tony's been putting off interacting with his Court for as long as possible, because he's also been putting off committing actual murder for as long as possible.
<trenchfoot> ...suddenly glad Nels is in Spring.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's doing a lot better since he talked with Maggie. He stops at the Wherehouse (often with Lauren) every day to drop stuff off or help out around the place or just to hang out. The presence of the loyalists continues to chew at the corner of his mind. "So like... what's the plan? With the guys."
<Crion> The Winter Court has been...very hands-off, and pretty much always is as a rule. There are a lot of social events for Spring and Summer that the motley has standing invitations to -- usually shows at the Sidereal -- and if Nels and Maggie haven't been mingling with Samaritan, Smitten, and etcetera, it's not for a lack of trying on the Court's part. Stewart's aware of what Autumn's like.
<Crion> Winter, however, has just been...silent.
<Crion> Lauren's around fairly often, but not today -- actual work to do, something involving a house call (vault call?) for the Young Street.
<trenchfoot> Nels has been in and out of the Sidereal, though usually outside of regular hours. Still acclimating to crowds again. Maybe she'll play a set someday, but not yet. To Stewart: "I assume waiting for them to show up again and then shooting at them to free whoever they're stealing is a little too hands-off."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "How would we know the next time we see them is the first time they've poked their head back out?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "...shoot. Um. Give me a minute? I - mean, an actual minute. I'll need to see one of them for it."
<trenchfoot> "...we could go looking for them. And I could - make sure of it."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We gotta do something."
<VoxPVoxD> "We can't just keep sitting around waiting for them to make a move."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Well. I can ensure we find them. And if we stay hidden see what they want to do next, or we could do something more drastic."
<banana> Melanie's typing in her library as usual, but she's got pretty good hearing. Apparently you don't need ears for that. Once the conversation's taken this turn, she'll be a vaguely looming presence in the doorway, surrounded by beads.
<banana> "I have a plan, but it's pretty simple. Two parts."
<banana> "One, wait until you guys feel ready. Two, we go and kill them."
<banana> Maybe it's time to move on to the next step?
<trenchfoot> Nels blanches, but recovers quickly. "Or something more drastic, I guess."
<CBN> Tony: "Ready as I'll ever be, but if we can avoid another Watermelon Boys and The Big Pigs situation I'd like that. Less chance of us getting shot."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Lauren was talking about, we could probably safely oathbind at least a few of them. To leave and never come back. Proctor's-- we've got to deal with Proctor permanently, though."
<VoxPVoxD> More quietly: "One way or another."
<trenchfoot> Nels exhales.
<CBN> Tony siiiiighs. "Yeah, but I gotta kill Proctor and the Cambridge guy, Winter said so."
<CBN> Tony: "Also, they were the worst ones. Other than the other ones who were also bad."
<banana> Melanie: "What class of oaths are you thinking about?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Well, wonderful, okay. Glad we've established premeditation to our murders." Not often you get to re-use a word from a quiz so abruptly, but hey.
<CBN> sTony shrugs. "I dunno, probably better than doing it by accident? It's all shitty and none of us want to do it, but that's how you know it's work."
<banana> Melanie looks worried. "This is what I mean about being ready. Are we in a place to get rid of this problem without being damaged by it? To treat them as pests and monsters, not as a gateway into dehumanisation?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Kid Kid Kid is straight up alt right, too."
<VoxPVoxD> Quickly: "That's, uh, like, a Nazi who spends all day on the internet."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "What's a nazi?"
<Crion> Hoo.
<VoxPVoxD> "Oh jeez."
<banana> Ah.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Ah, cripes. That's right, you missed a whole world war."
<CBN> Tony: "How long do we have? Very bad."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "No, there was - they had another one. I haven't gotten there yet but I saw the chapter title."
<banana> "So bad that they became a synonym for 'bad'."
<banana> "Politics today is mostly like.. a rhetorical dispute about who gets to claim the other side are Nazis..."
<trenchfoot> Nels just looks blank.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Look, the specifics of what Nazis are isn't germane to our problem. We can cover it later. The point is, obviously, they're all really bad people."
<banana> Melanie: "Maybe it's relevant. We're, like, struggling with a question here, right? 'Are there circumstances under which it's ok to plan to go out and kill someone.'"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Well we were ordered to- fuck that's a Nazi thing too isn't it."
<VoxPVoxD> "Shit!"
<VoxPVoxD> "This is so much easier when they're trying to kill you and you don't have time to think about it."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I'm gonna be really upset when I get to that chapter, aren't I."
<banana> "It was a really long time ago. Just remember that like.. nobody in Japan or Germany now was even born back then."
<banana> Changelings and vampires possibly excepted?
<trenchfoot> Dryly: "I will take your word for it."
<CBN> Tony: "Listen. I'm going to feel bad about doing this, I'd feel bad about not doing this the next time I heard about some fresh escapees getting harassed over here, I'd feel bad if you all did it without me. There's no not-feeling-bad here, but at least one of them doesn't get me yelled at for awhile, and also does a little to keep our neighborhood a little safer, for awhile."
<CBN> Tony: "Here's to feeling bad all the time." And with that he finishes the beer no one notices he even had, or had started.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Seems to me that if somebody's flitting about dragging people off to the Sunlit Lands, it's okay, y'know, morally, to use violence as needed to make 'em stop. Can't say that will make it any easier when we're staring 'em down, and maybe if they say 'Stop! We give up!' we have to rethink what we plan on doing."
<dammitwho> "But that's an 'if and when' problem. Just how I feel."
<VoxPVoxD> Maggie's surprisingly down with violence for such a sweet old lady.
<banana> Melanie nods with a rattle. "Yeah, we've got to do this. They're monsters because their actions are monstrous - it's not about receiving an order. That's the Courts confirming what we should - from each of their perspectives - be thinking already."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I don't want anyone else taken like those kids. And who knows what they're up to now. If there's only one way..." Another heavy exhale.
<CBN> Tony: "Well plus they shot Nels and that's pretty shitty."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I got better."
<banana> Melanie's looking at Stewart again. Not as worried as before though.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart still wants to argue, and it shows, but he clearly doesn't have a better idea.
<CBN> Tony: "This time. And sometimes people don't get better and then you have to dig a grave, and then I have to fill it up. So I want there to not be a next time."
<dammitwho> "I tell you, though. Tony's right, there's no getting out of this feeling good."
<banana> Melanie: "Don't try and talk yourselves into false equivalency. Once we stop Proctor from kidnapping and torturing people, we've done a good thing. It's good for his victims and it's good for him, the twisted old bastard got turned into this too. It costs us, but it achieves something."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "It's good to stop him. It's - less good that it has to be this way."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "...no, Melanie's right. So are Maggie and Tony. Doing good and feeling good aren't the same thing."
<dammitwho> "Hoorm. Life'd be a lot easier if it were."
<banana> Melanie leaves the doorway to come and stand by the dining table. "Okay. Concretely, we know where they are. We know how to focus on stopping people with dangerous weapons from attacking first, and we've got enough small oaths to do this thing; the concession we should make to safety is that they have strong defenses on their home ground. So if we find significant traps or preparations
<banana> we should be in a position to withdraw."
<CBN> Tony: "How much do we need to worry about their bosses, realistically? I feel like some of you know way more about how stuff works around here."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Realistically, we have no idea."
<banana> Firmly: "None at all."
<VoxPVoxD> "But I feel like if they had a Keeper on call, the Keeper wouldn't need the loyalists in the first place."
<CBN> Tony: "That's a good point."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "How sure are we?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We aren't. But I don't think there's any evidence to suggest there's anything scarier than Proctor and company at direct work this very moment."
<banana> Melanie's trying to keep momentum. The zeitgeist of the motley is for action, and she feels superstitiously like it shouldn't be wasted - a thought to interrogate. Later. "Let's head back to their place and find a way to conceal ourselves. We watch, we see them leave - without anyone like that in tow - and we intercept them before they actually go somewhere."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "...sounds good. Don't forget your body armor, guys."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Hang on. Let me - try something. I haven't done it before, but, well, I need ten minutes to guarantee I can see their future." Wow, her life is insane now.
<Crion> The stuff the freehold lent via Jackie on your way in has been taken back, but you've had more than enough time to get whatever you want and can afford, and it is not difficult to get a gun or body armor in Baltimore even before the Winter Court's connections.
<Crion> Let alone Summer's.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart nods like this is the most natural thing in the world.
<dammitwho> A nice jacket, a kevlar vest, and inside a few small bags of sand.
<dammitwho> A small container with a living spider... hmm. She should start farming these things. It takes forever to find a new one each time.
<trenchfoot> Please keep it out of view.
<trenchfoot> A needle and a drop of blood later, plus some good old fashioned effort, and Nels is back in the main Wherehouse. "I'm going to need a minute when we see them. Just to - see what they're going to do. If we don't stop them."
<Crion> So the plan is to lie in wait outside the Roof Cavass Wagon and variably ambush/follow/spy on those who come out?
<trenchfoot> "...anyone happen to have a picture? Just out of curiosity."
<Crion> *Canvas
<VoxPVoxD> "A picture of... them?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Yeah. If not, I'll make do, but."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart shakes his head.
<banana> Melanie hasn't worn armour before. It's hard to make it fit, and she's tougher than p- than ordinary people. But when Stewart's been meaningfully leaving kevlar vests in all sizes around the place.. she'll at least try it on.
<CBN> Tony just pockets a couple pennies, some small pebbles. His usual.
<trenchfoot> Just do whatever common people do.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart's got his vest, the lucky jacket (not actually magically lucky) that Gerald gave him, and the body armor, also from Gerald. That pewter wand is visible sticking out of the gap between his armor and his jacket.
<trenchfoot> Nels has a bulletproof vest and a gun drawn. She's still extremely nervous and definitely not upset. Can't prove otherwise.
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Making do." She pulls out a notepad from her pocket - god, they have pockets now, amazing - and starts drawing with the attached pencil.
<trenchfoot> "Picture. Doesn't say what kind. Gonna try it out," she says, before tucking her tongue to the side of her mouth as she concentrates.
<banana> Melanie: "Hey, that's a good caricature. You could do a political cartoon."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "If you see a Lena Colter in the papers, you'll know." It really is a pretty good likeness, though.
<banana> "We do actually still have papers. They were saying we wouldn't, but when I came back they were still going strong, just.. weirder. Like, there's fake news and tweeting."
<trenchfoot> Still drawing: "We had lying newspapers already. I don't think I'm ready to know what tweeting is."
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Load of garbage, is what it is."
<Crion> When the motley's ready, they head out, Tony in the lead...
<CBN> While Nels draws, Tony eats a penny, does a little juggling trick with a pebble, and stands in some shadows. What emerges isn't really there, but if it were, it would have a rusted, metallic flaking to its dirt-surface, and particularly gnarly hooks on its knuckles. And he leads the way, while not necessarily projecting Leadership.
<banana> Melanie lurks where Tony leads. In the alleys across from Proctor's home, she takes root in some indefinable sense and also literally; the cracked pavement around her twists further as ominous and thorned fragments of white wood surface. The sun burns high overhead, watching.
<Crion> It takes some time -- not a huge amount of time, but some -- and the motley settles into their positions. It's odd; the Hedge still moves around them, somewhat, so when you look back down the street after focusing on the building with the wagon atop it for too long, maybe there's a stoplight there that wasn't before. You know, normal Hedge things. The place seems deserted...
<Crion> But then -- movement!
<Crion> That's Loser, slipping down the fire escape, which also seems fully functional, then dropping down to the street.
<Crion> She's alone, and looks furtively about...
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart feels like he should have something in his hands, but even holding the wand feels too aggressive.
<banana> Melanie whispers in her friends' ears from several different directions. There's a heat to it, a bloom of warmth on the eardrum. "Loser, alone. She's our way in."
<trenchfoot> Harsh whisper: "She's telling them about us--"
<Crion> Loser appears to see nothing, and begins sneaking down the street..
<Crion> .
<CBN> Tony:"Ffffff."Under his breath. Not surprising but pretty bad, to hear that!
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Wait, no, shit -- sorry - she's. I don't know what she's doing."
<trenchfoot> "Sorry. I was supposed to." Fuck. Shit.
<dammitwho> Maggie lets out a long breath. Let's hope that the only things that go wrong turn out to even out to neutral.
<VoxPVoxD> From his vantage point, Stewart studies Loser... and his eyes widen. Almost despite himself he hisses "Hey! Loser!"
<VoxPVoxD> Man that sounds mean out loud.
<Crion> She swings around, eyes wide, mouth open...and then sees Stewart. Her eyes light up...just for a minute. Then she takes a step towards an alley mouth while nodding signficantly with her head, and sprints down it.
<banana> ?!
<trenchfoot> ...?????
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart gestures at everyone who can see him, and so on until the message percolates throughout the motley. "Follow her. It's safe."
<VoxPVoxD> Well, not safe, but.
<trenchfoot> Nothing's safe for us.
<Crion> The alley's short and terminates quickly -- these aren't actual buildings, so there's no actual reason for sidedoors. But still, when the motley arrives running full tilt, Loser is pacing back and forth at the end of the alley, waiting.
<VoxPVoxD> Putting his money where his mouth is, Stewart will head down the alley after her.
<dammitwho> Maggie will follow. Stewart's a wizard's apprentice, so she trusts his sagely wisdom.
<CBN> Tony's gotta follow, since if this gets messy, he'll probably be cleaning it up, one way or another. So he follows.
<banana> Melanie hesitates, she really does. They had a perfect position; they could grab this woman with the depressing name, get her keys, information.. maybe she doesn't like the rest of the loyalists, but she still helps them. She's still the enemy.
<banana> ...what it comes down to is trusting Stewart. Not even as Stewart per se but as one of them, one of the group. When one of them has an idea, takes initiative.. the others should back them up. That's the way Melanie wants it to be.
<Crion> Her greeting is angry, but her face is relieved: "Where the fuck have you people been?! I was promised extraction!"
<banana> She slips roots and limbs free of the pavement/earth, moves after the others as quickly as she's able.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We've been getting mixed signals and not a lot of guidance. We didn't know how to approach safely."
<Crion> "FUCKING Autumn Court!"
<Crion> Glancing at Stewart. "Sorry. It's not your fault. Probably."
<dammitwho> Maggie makes a quiet Bronx cheer. Oh, for goodness' sake.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart shrugs. He can't really disagree. "Sorry for leaving you hanging."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I have no idea what's going on."
<Crion> Looking around at the various armors and weapons. "Yeah, well. No big deal. Just have to continue pretending to be friends with a bunch of fucking psychopaths."
<Crion> "Y'all came loaded for bear."
<trenchfoot> Deadpan: "Bears are way easier."
<banana> Melanie is so confused. She doesn't want to say anything because it will probably be the wrong thing.
<Crion> To Stewart: "...Do any of you have a fucking clue what's going on?"
<Crion> Closer up, you can tell that Loser's mien, while outwardly Courtless, flickers a little bit. It gets more intense when she speaks with clear, actual passion.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "All we know is Proctor's in town and we've got to get him out."
<CBN> Tony: "Uhh...why pretend? You can just stay out of the way until we're done with whatever we do here, then you should be good, right?"
<VoxPVoxD> "Like I said, we are not thoroughly briefed."
<Crion> "Fucking AUTUMN Court!"
<Crion> This time she doesn't apologize.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "They did say 'get Loser out', though not why. If that helps."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart shrugs again, more apologetically.
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I tried to see what was going to happen but got nothing. Sorry."
<trenchfoot> She genuinely sounds contrite.
<Crion> "Yes, well, that's because I've been embedded with Proctor for 20 months now and it's time to pull the plug on this whole operation." She straightens. "Since you're the hitters, you deserve to know the providence of your intel. And frankly, I'm too angry to care anymore about opsec."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Twenty m- they made you--"
<VoxPVoxD> So she's a for-real spy. Or at the very least acts like one, and talks like one, which now that Stewart follows the thought to its conclusion is what being a spy means. So.
<banana> Melanie: "They didn't- is she really a spy? L didn't say anything about it. He just said 'So Loser's back?' and that we should.. that there were no bunks for loyalists."
<Crion> "I'm codename Loser, e eu sou um cavaleiro de Ordem dos Cavaleiros Matadors de Dragão. I am a Knight of the Dragonslayer."
<VoxPVoxD> Badass.
<trenchfoot> Nels: "If they left you there I am going to have words."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Let's get mad after we're done."
<CBN> Tony: "I have no idea what any of that means."
<Crion> To Nels: "It's my job. But my job was supposed to end with us rolling them up before they started getting serious about trafficking back through the Hedge again."
<Crion> To Tony: "Portuguese. And it means I'm a deep-cover spy."
<Crion> "Ugh, I'm going to have to change my whole look after this. That's fine."
<Crion> She looks around: "I've got Hollow access. Are you ready to hit them?"
<VoxPVoxD> That's... kind of a shame, Stewart thinks but absolutely does not say.
<VoxPVoxD> What he does say is, "Ready as we'll ever be."
<Crion> "Good. Because I'm not gonna be party to another fox-hunt."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Stewart. I will get mad when I want to. Knight - I'm not going to call you Loser." She draws her gun. "Thanks for not shooting me that last time."
<VoxPVoxD> "Have they gone for anyone since the two we picked up a couple weeks ago?"
<Crion> Loser shakes her head.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart is visibly relieved.
<Crion> "They're talking about it though. Let's get up there."
<Crion> "They're all on-site, but I think K.I.L.L.'s asleep."
<banana> Melanie: "Do we believe this?" To Loser: "Look, I'm really sorry if you're for real, if you've been left verklempft in a den of vipers and then the only people sent to get you back weren't even given that truth. But you could be a spy from the Autumn Court, or you could just be intelligent."
<Crion> Striding out of the alley. "Then shoot me in the back."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Don't do that."
<banana> "Stop. You can't rush trust."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "I saw her heart's desire. Common Spring, the Whitaker and Wexley standard name is Cupid's Arrow. Her desire for extraction is legit, and the only thing stopping us from extracting her was our own lack of knowledge."
<Crion> Loser whirls. "I am not going back there."
<Crion> "Not without guns."
<trenchfoot> Nels holds up her revolver.
<Crion> Loser looks visibly offput by that from Stewart for a second, but hides it well enough.
<VoxPVoxD> To Melanie: "We haven't done a lot to earn each other's trust, but on this specific thing, I'm certain we're all on the same side."
<banana> Melanie: "Of course you're not. Either you're an agent who has no need to go back in or you're a prisoner."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Tell the Autumn Court to tell us next time."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Man it's not the Court of Telling The Fucking Truth. What do you want from me?"
<trenchfoot> "I am going to have words."
<trenchfoot> "We could have shot her. Nobody told us!"
<Crion> Three stories up -- from the roof -- there's a deafening thunderclap...followed by some happy trumpets...?
<Crion> Loser starts. "What the fuck was that."
<trenchfoot> Exits. Where are they. We're getting the fuck out.
<banana> Melanie: "I want to do this in a way which doesn't put, um, Loser at our backs. And which doesn't ask more from her than she's been giving since most likely you're right, Stewart." To the maybe spy: "Can you give us a way in that doesn't need you there?"
<Crion> Staring up at the roof, Loser says: "I don't think I need to."
<trenchfoot> Nels stiffens, then forcefully relaxes: "Back to base. Right now. Something just happened and I don't know what but I hate it."
<CBN> Tony siiiiiighs. "God damn it."
<banana> "Alright, let's get out of here. There's too much power around, too much we don't know."
<Crion> Loser's shoulders sag. "I can't do that."
<Crion> "I swore an Oath."
<Crion> "I can't extract until Proctor is confirmed resolved."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Is whatever just broke in up there on their side?"
<Crion> "...So I'm going upstairs."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I. Am going. To have words."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart studies Loser for a moment.
<Crion> She looks back at Stewart, and she looks terrified. "Proctor proofed that place like a vault. He wasn't the most powerful guy there is, but...well."
<Crion> "What can crack that nut?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "Fuck."
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks at the others. "We've gotta follow her."
<banana> Melanie: "If we get you close enough to see what's going on, and if it.. resolves the situation- will that fulfil your oath?"
<Crion> Loser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRJdVTXkdGI Well go get your shovel, and we'll dig a deep hole to bury the castle; to bury the castle.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "Aw, horsefeathers. Alright gang, looks like we're going in."
<Crion> Loser nods. "I need eyes-on."
<CBN> Tony: "We're already here and it's not getting any better today."
<banana> Sure it's bound up with being a knight of the whatever, but what a shitty freaking Oath.
<Crion> Loser: "No one else needs to go up with me." She pulls out an ornate keyring. "But I'm going up."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "No one goes alone," she says, entirely sure.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: "We can't just assume whatever-that-is is going to deal with them."
<VoxPVoxD> "Nels is right."
<banana> Melanie: "Can you give us any kind of indication whatsoever that you're telling the truth. Stop rushing us. Any kind of token!"
<Crion> Loser doesn't quite glare at Melanie. "I promise not to lie to you about this operation or my participation in it until I'm extracted. Fucking seal it."
<banana> The Wyrd lights up in triumph, adding to the occult atmosphere. A promise hangs in the air. Melanie: "Okay, thanks. Now: you're not a loyalist, you're set to deal with them, by the Autumn Court of Baltimore?"
<Crion> "I am not a loyalist, I am tasked with infiltrating and reporting on them, and I serve the Autumn Court of Philadelphia. I'm on retainer here."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Condolences. What are we doing."
<Crion> "I'm going upstairs to stick my head into that Hollow. I expect that what we'll find will be a Huntsman, or something worse than a Huntsman."
<Crion> Loser pulls open the door. "To the extent that there's good news, it's this: whatever's up there could have cut us down in the street."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I hate that you're right."
<banana> "Lead the way, if your oath requires it."
<Crion> Now she does glare. "If my oath requires--bitch, fuck you."
<Crion> "Follow or don't."
<Crion> Loser heads upstairs.
<trenchfoot> Nels follows.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart makes the :I face at Melanie before following.
<banana> Loser must be under an immense amount of pressure, and Melanie's not good at communicating. She doesn't blame the woman for her attitude or her terrible hair.
<Crion> At the top, the door of the wagon has been torn completely off. It's a wound in the Hedge, letting you see into the dank hallway that extends through it, going down much farther than the apparent length of the wagon. It ends in a great metal door...that's also been torn away.
<Crion> Loser still has to touch the threshold to open it and let you in.
<Crion> As she does, the sound of a man screaming rips down the hall, from further in.
<banana> "We can't be lucky enough for that to be Proctor."
<trenchfoot> Nels, gun drawn: "Not sure it matters."
<Crion> Loser will lead you down the hall apprehensively. The door will open into a larger ante-chamber, with two exits -- one to a reinforced door ("That's to the outside, but it's in Mexico City," mumbles Loser. "Don't ask."), and one to a normal wooden door that seems to have just, exploded.
<Crion> And through the ruins of that door...
<CBN> Tony: "Lucky would be not being here."
<Crion> There are...three trees.
<Crion> Two contain corpses.
<banana> Melanie's still swathed in inexplicable shadow through which lance beams of sunlight that burn away patches of darkness, revealing writing white roots, so in effect she's also gun-drawn.
<dammitwho> The corpses of...?
<Crion> The trees look like they've grown up and THROUGH Cambridge Son and Kid Kid Kid.
<VoxPVoxD> Ah.
<Crion> Between them, Proctor is still clinging to life as the branches rise, and rise, and dig through his flesh, into his mouth, and -- you'll want to look away.
<Crion> Proctor dies gurgled.
<Crion> Gurgling.
<Crion> But, having gurgled.
<banana> "Horrific. Convenient. Let's run."
<dammitwho> "Think we gots to be gone a skosh."
<Crion> And before those three trees stands a woman, blonde and beautiful, and when she spins to face you her eyes flash with manic green fire and her smile eats the whole of her face and a hideous, beatific power exudes from every part of her. And then she claps her hands together in delight.
<Crion> "You must be Peter's friends!"
<Crion> Loser takes two or three steps back. "M-mistress."
<Crion> The woman's baleful eye turns on Loser. "Well. Not you. But I suppose you're with Peter's friends."
<trenchfoot> It takes almost every fiber in her being to avoid asking Who's Peter? Still:"Um. Hi." What is happening.
<CBN> Tony knows enough to not talk to them. He stopped trying to talk to his after the first few years, and it didn't make things easier, but it kept them from getting more difficult. So he's just standing here.
<Crion> There's a ragged, angry, pained cry, and the sound of a chainsaw revving, and K.I.L.L. runs out from the side room --
<Crion> The woman waves a hand and branches ensconce the loyalist.
<Crion> "I don't like chainsaws."
<banana> Any distraction will do. Melanie will grab the hands of whoever's nearest to her, Loser included, and at the very least try to get away.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart is transfixed.
<trenchfoot> Nels isn't moving.
<dammitwho> Maggie is taking steps backwards.
<CBN> Tony's also standing there staring. Force of habit.
<Crion> The Mistress of the High House: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwf7P2GNAVw The whole school is rolling fake dice; you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
<Crion> Her eyes snap and explode, and she's more beautiful than should be possible as her grin widens -- then it's back to a smile. "Please don't run," she says to you, who now cannot. "I'm not here to hurt anyone..."
<Crion> "...who wasn't hunting..."
<Crion> The branches crackle up K.I.L.L.'s thighs.
<Crion> "...my Peter."
<trenchfoot> Terror awful bad fear
<banana> Melanie grabs Tony's hand, Nels' hand, spins and... drops to her knees with an awful creak. She won't/can't look back.
<Crion> Loser chokes and sobs, even though she's smiling dazedly.
<Crion> "In fact," the Mistress says pleasantly, "I want your help."
<Crion> Then she blinks as if remembering something. "Oh! Yes! You're the heroes. You care about people."
<Crion> She gestures to K.I.L.L. "What should be done with her?"
<banana> Melanie's totally shut down. With her mouth and eyes closed, her lower legs bent under her, her trunk/torso turned away - she's immobile, inanimate, vegetable. She wouldn't answer if she could. Maybe falling over the Hedge was just a dream.
<CBN> Tony: "She was going to kill us with a chainsaw. You can put her in the ground."
<Crion> Loser: "...Let her live. Please. Mistress."
<Crion> "Mmmmmmm," the Mistress of the High House says. "Tied."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "...nobody dies." She's not very confident. The Devil of the Details' favor is hot in her hand.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "I... she's a real piece of work," She says we're the heroes she says we care about people she says she says she says she says "But she doesn't deserve to die like that. Please let her live."
<Crion> The Mistress nods, arching an eyebrow at Stewart and Melanie. "It's only possible to tie, now. But I suppose Loser's vote should count less."
<Crion> "So a tie goes to the tree."
<trenchfoot> More forcefully: "Nobody dies."
<Crion> The Mistress smiles. "That is the dream."
<VoxPVoxD> He's in an apron and a white hat. The air is hot and wet and dense. People are running every which way, shouting, screaming, giving orders. The sound of cleavers clacking in a steady, even rhythm against stone cutting-boards. Stewart reaches into the oven, arms shackled to the floor behinnd him, to pull out a beautiful roast, tender meat practically falling off a human thighbone.
<VoxPVoxD> He can't see, he can't hear -- Commit to something, you little shit. -- but he feels her eyes on him like the heat from the oven. "Let her go," he says limply.
<Crion> The Mistress nods firmly, and gestures. The branches pull out from K.I.L.L.'s limbs, as they spirit away her chainsaw. She might have a broken ankle, but she's not bleeding out.
<Crion> The Mistress, to K.I.L.L.: "You'll want to stay down, dear."
<Crion> Then she blinks and surveys the room. "Oh, bother. I've done it again."
<Crion> "I really do need to talk to you about Peter. Especially with these reprobates looking for him. I need you to tell him I forgive him, and I want him to come home. If that's what he wants."
<Crion> Icily: "You are absolutely forbidden from coercing him."
<Crion> She softens a bit. "I respect why he left. I just want him to know I miss him."
<Crion> She shakes her head. "Ah! This is embarrassing. And I really do apologize for the mess, and the...well, I couldn't just let you leave without delivering the message."
<trenchfoot> Nels, definitely not shaking: "And?"
<Crion> "And! I look forward to hearing from Peter." She pauses. "Oh, for the next time we meet...can we agree to no contracts? Would that make you...more comfortable?"
<trenchfoot> I don't think any restrictions could make Nels feel more comfortable with such a meeting.
<trenchfoot> She says nothing, waiting for the others.
<CBN> Tony: "No contracts that affect one another, between us, and you?"
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart looks up wordlessly. His black eyes flare the orange of embers flying from a harvest bonfire. The pact is sealed.
<Crion> She nods pleasantly. "Indeed." Her voice grows quiet, and her face drawn. "I don't like doing this, you know."
<Crion> Then the smile returns. "But now I must go. Ta!"
<Crion> And she strides out. There's a rush of wind, and she's gone.
<Crion> K.I.L.L. moans.
<Crion> Loser: "Fuck. Fuck me."
<trenchfoot> That is maybe worse than a fight. No, definitely worse. "No. But - SHIT."
<CBN> Tony looks at the bodies. They still in trees, that're still there?
<banana> Melanie lets go of the hands she was grabbing, tries to curl up, can't. She stands instead, shakily.
<Crion> They are.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart falls immediately to his hands and knees, gasping for breath.
<Crion> K.I.L.L.: "I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna...I don't..." She begins crying.
<banana> Melanie will process the Mistress. Later. At length. She wobbles just a little as she wanders over to K.I.L.L.
<banana> "Okay. We won't let you, anyway."
<banana> "Do you want to die? Is there something we could do to keep you out of this thing, if you don't want to die?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Let's try and - we've all just been through a lot."
<dammitwho> Maggie leans heavily on the wall and moans. "Cheese and rice..."
<Crion> Numbly, the pink-haired woman says: "All of them that held my Oaths are dead now."
<CBN> Tony: "Are you kidding with this Melanie?" Tony's holding it together about as well as can be expected but also, as his rust-patina fades he's getting a lil het up. "Seriously, are you fucking kidding?"
<banana> "We can't allow her into the Freehold of Baltimore."
<CBN> Tony gestures emphatically, "The only reason she wouldn't have killed us with a chainsaw is because she was shit at it, and they were shit at it, and we just got a "get out of murdering them ourselves" free card in the form of some crazy ex girlfriend!"
<banana> Melanie: "Does Philadelphia feel differently?"
<Crion> Loser: "It does." She stands and walks over to K.I.L.L. "There's somewhere I can take her."
<VoxPVoxD> It's so hot in here. It's so hot. Stewart's forehead pressed against the floor is the only comfortable part of his body.
<banana> It's actually unclear to Melanie whether Tony is demanding that KILL be put down, or be released, or what. She stares at him in lieu of actually forming the words to ask.
<CBN> Tony scowls. "Leave her on the fucking field, these assholes all deserve each other. Said while gesturing to K.I.L.L. and the bodies.
<Crion> "You won't have access to her, but it doesn't sound like that would be healthy for anyone. Or necessary."
<Crion> Loser, tightly, to Tony: "Noted."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "No. No, we're all -- augh. Can you tell me if she comes out okay?"
<CBN> Tony turns on Loser. "Hey your shit's done now right?"
<Crion> To Nels: "No one's coming out of this 'okay.'"
<Crion> To Tony: "Yeah."
<trenchfoot> "Don't I know it sister. Still."
<CBN> Tony: "So, we can't trust a word you say, starting about five seconds ago?"
<banana> Melanie: "Hahaha!"
<Crion> Loser: "Sure."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Tony, no. Let her go."
<CBN> Tony throws his hands up and turns to walk away. "Extract the shit from your ears, I'm getting drunk."
<Crion> She picks K.I.L.L. up to lean on her shoulder. "Again. You want to shoot me, here's my back." She heads for the door.
<banana> "Hey, Loser. Um, sorry, that doesn't feel like a good name, but- hey."
<Crion> "Yeah?"
<trenchfoot> Nels: "Two weeks 'till moonshine." Gun's still drawn. Don't shoot Loser.
<banana> Melanie: "These are terrible circumstances, but I'm glad you got out. You really can't ever allow her back here though."
<Crion> Loser: "...She'll be gone in a day or two. My safehouse is Hedge-side, so don't worry about her going to Baltimore. Philadelphia has a program." She sighs. "Gonna be a long trip."
<trenchfoot> Nels: "I'm gonna have words with, whoever okayed that. Because it was awful."
<VoxPVoxD> Finally, slowly, Stewart pulls himself to his feet.
<Crion> Other than that...it's just the three corpses in the trees. And whatever else is in this Hollow.
<banana> Melanie: "Good luck." She'll go looking for Tony.
<dammitwho> Maggie: "...let's go home."
<trenchfoot> Nels, suddenly exhausted: "...yeah."
<VoxPVoxD> Belatedly, and very quietly: "...I've got to go make my report."
<trenchfoot> Tell them that they're jerks, Nels doesn't say.
<CBN> Tony's heading back to the Wherehouse and getting drunk enough to sound like Steve. That'll be the rest of his night, with big clamshell headphones on and no music playing.
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart asks Loser a couple of filling-in-the-blanks questions on the way back, and barely stops in the Hollow on the way out to the city. He doesn't even stop to take his shoes off before he settles in front if the Autumn box to report.
<VoxPVoxD> <Loyalist cell neutralized. 'Proctor' / 'Kid Kid Kid' / 'Cambridge Son' came to a sudden arboreal stop care of 'The Mistress of the High House', who identifies as Peter Montgomery's Keeper.>
<VoxPVoxD> <Philadelphia Dragonslayer 'Loser', embedded with the Loyalist cell, identifies Proctor as cell leader. Proctor's MO identified as camping at the entrance of the Mistress's Arcadian estate and waiting for escapees. Montgomery identified as leaving the grounds freely, rather than escaping under duress. Loser shocked to see Mistress in the Hedge.>
<VoxPVoxD> <Mistress arrested the kill team and had them vote on the fate of remaining loyalist, 'K.I.L.L.'. Votes as follows: Spring- Foulke LIFE, Bakehead LIFE. Summer- Lucas ABSTAIN. Autumn- Loser LIFE, Reader LIFE. Winter- Bowen DEATH.>
<VoxPVoxD> <Mistress made and sealed an oath to abstain from Contract use at her next meeting. No serious physical or psychic injuries sustained. Kill team rejected Hollow access to K.I.L.L. and Loser took her to her personal safehouse.>
<VoxPVoxD> <Expect pushback from Loser, Foulke, posssibly Lucas on clarity of brief and mandate.>
<VoxPVoxD> <Mistress asked kill team to relay following message to Montgomery: I NEED YOU TO TELL HIM I FORGIVE HIM, AND THAT I WANT HIM TO COME HOME, IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS.>
<VoxPVoxD> <--End report.>
<Crion> Five minutes after he sends the report, an IM window pops open: QUOTH|THE|STEWARD|KING.
<Crion> QUOTH|THE|STEWARD|KING: <'STEWART READER,' KNOWN OTHERWISE AS 'CRITICALMASS:'>
<Crion> <Assuming direct control.>
<Crion> <Stewart, this is Kingsley.>
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart: <present>
<Crion> <You're absolutely certain it was the Mistress of the High House?>
<VoxPVoxD> <loser was certain, i saw no reason to disbelieve her, but i can't be personally absolutely certain>
<Crion> <If Loser is certain, she's probably correct. Keep the incident within your motley. Do not pass along any information to Peter Montgomery.>
<Crion> <Not until we can look into this further.>
<VoxPVoxD> <it would not have occurred to me to do so>
<Crion> <All in all, an excellent outcome. Well done. We will handle things from here, and inform you if we need a consult.>
<VoxPVoxD> <noted>
<VoxPVoxD> Stewart doesn't sleep that night. He's up until well past dawn cleaning: he bleaches the kitchen from sink to stove, filling the air with its harsh and caustic smell. He dusts every inch of both bedrooms and sweeps over, under, and around all the furniture in the living room. It's almost noon, as he's scouring the thin layer of mildew that's built up on the tiles in the shower, when he
<VoxPVoxD> finally passes out.
<banana> Melanie spends a lot of time in the wherehouse common areas, standing still in inconvenient places. Thinking.
<Crion> When Stewart wakes up, he'll have a couple messages from Lauren waiting -- seems like she sent him two really quickly while he was cleaning, then a third, and then let him be.
<VoxPVoxD> What are they?
<Crion> <hey are you up> and <?> and then <lmk>
<VoxPVoxD> It's about 4:30 pm when Stewart gets off the bathroom floor. Fuck, he's got to stream tonight. Eating pre-sliced pepperoni right from the bag and working on his second Red Bull Lauren gets a response just shy of 5. <hey. long night sorry>
<Crion> She responds within two minutes. Maybe 90 seconds. <its ok! you want me to come over?>
<Crion> <i can hang out off camera while you stream. we can order in>
<Crion> <people will start rumors. itll be great>
<VoxPVoxD> <I want that so much>
<Crion> <hell ya. be over in like 30?>
<VoxPVoxD> <k>
<VoxPVoxD> That gives Stewart time to shower, shave, and change, but he still looks run ragged when Lauren arrives.
<Crion> <coooooooooooooooooooltr :*>
<Crion> In the native font, that's a kiss emoji. Anyway, we'll leave those kids to it.
<Crion> And for those departed:
<Crion> The Proctor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz8c17upEwM -- I dig my hole, you build a wall. One day that wall is gonna fall.
<Crion> Cambridge Son: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WptRf287DdI -- Clean out the bank and bump off your daddy! You can come live with us among the has-beens and the addicts!
<Crion> --fin
<Crion> Oh and one more.
<Crion> K.I.L.L.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an6iivcWZhE -- I know my soul's freezing; Hell's hot for good reason.
<banana> It's been some time. Long enough to think.
<CBN> And for Tony to drink enough of the edges off.
<banana> Melanie paces around the largely-empty wherehouse. This is progress; she used to shuffle. Eventually she makes up her mind and her way to Tony's den. There's no door as such to knock on, so she'll just.. holler, shrouded in beads. "Bowen, can I please come in."
<CBN> Tony: "'preciate you thinking it's a real door, c'mon in."
<CBN> Tony's sitting on a recliner that doesn't let the bottom section extend, so he's got his feet up on a milk crate with a carpet sample on top. "What's goin' on?"
<banana> The other elemental looks visibly determined. Her Mask is pouting slightly; her real face doesn't exactly have lips but same energy. "I just wanted to ask you about some stuff. A lot happened, you know? And some things didn't happen?"
<CBN> Tony: "Yup."
<CBN> He pops open the minifridge he's resting his elbow on. "Thirsty? I got beer and beer."
<banana> Melanie: "Yes." She's good with liquid.
<banana> Melanie: "I remember, before we disembarked yesterday.. we were talking about whether it was ok to like, aspire to murder. In so many words. You were worried then, I wasn't, maybe I should have been, maybe not."
<banana> Melanie: "Sorry, sorry- I'm being vague because it's hard to, um, phrase things. Or feel things. Give me a moment?" She pops a tab.
<CBN> Tony tosses her a beer without looking and closes the door with the practiced motion of a former popular teen athlete. "Yup."
<banana> ..and then just kind of sits there for a moment, drinking.
<CBN> This is Tony's resting state. This is his kingdom. This exact kind of moment is a zen garden laid out grain by grain on a vast desert of drinking and not talking. It is peace.
<banana> It brings back long forgotten memories. Random bedrooms at other-people's-house parties, illicit drunken gatherings until someone's parents got home early. Mindless fun. not quiet like this but with the same liminal irresponsibility.
<banana> Melanie: "Yesterday we set out to put some monsters in the ground, thinking ourselves righteous. That didn't happen, and instead there was something worse, a greater monster preempting our complicity. She wanted to make us vote on who lives and who dies."
<CBN> Tony: "Mm-hm."
<banana> "If it's okay, I want to talk to you about that because you might understand. I might too, but definitely not the others."
<CBN> Tony: "Well it's fucked up is what it is."
<banana> Melanie: "Yeah, I know! What's bugging me is.. who exactly is fucked up here? Besides everyone."
<banana> "Did you hear them answering that thing? 'Let her live.' I couldn't believe it."
<CBN> Tony: "It's all fucked up."
<banana> Melanie: "It's like.. I wasn't going to play along with the monster's game or, um, couldn't. Not sure which, but I was really glad she couldn't read my mind or, um, didn't."
<CBN> Tony: "I dunno about you but I spent forty years watching one of those things kill people and cleaning up after it already."
<CBN> Tony: "So if I say I'm ok with doing that again, kinda fucked up for everybody else to go the other way on it."
<CBN> Tony: "Kinda like, I'm still not getting to make my choices, you know? Beer finished. Beer started.
<banana> Melanie: "Yeah, I mean no, I didn't have do do cleanup but I watched pointless crap. For years and years and years. And so often my.. guy.. would get frustrated with his own stupid scripts and take it out on the 'actors'. We couldn't do anything. Apparently we still can't."
<banana> Melanie: "And so I was thinking, course chainsaw lady has to die, that's why we're here, because she was chasing people down the street with a chainsaw, but I'm not going to say that, I'm not going to be the tool of 'The Mistress', airquote, or a part in her play.. but like." She's finished her beer, but the can is safer to gesture with now.
<CBN> Tony: "Well but like, at least we walk away after, but that's worse in its way too?"
<banana> Melanie: "No, that bit is fine. I'd rather leave and all be alive."
<banana> "Let's not get crazy here."
<CBN> Tony: "Yeah but now what?"
<CBN> "Nothing's done, nothing's ended, nothing's resolved. And if it was it wasn't us to do it. Us, or, he gestures towards the rest of the Wherehouse, 'us', made a thing not happen, so now, more shit's gonna happen later, and then that's on us-us, too."
<banana> Melanie: "Well that's why I'm thinking, do we need to.. re-evaluate. When several people I really like and trust, as well as a paranoid who calls herself a dragonslayer, are freaking, traumatised into taking any opportunity to beg for mercy even though it's a pantomime, even though it's mercy for chainsaw lady, is it wrong to.. um. Were we wrong to even be in that situation?"
<CBN> Tony: "Well we had to be there, didn't we? First, otherwise Proctor and his crew would've kept doing their shit, then second, because the Loser needed help with whatever, even though, can I just say wow fuck her and that, and then third, we couldn't leave once we got there."
<banana> Melanie: "You speak with the ring of truth. The problem is.. may I have another beer, please?"
<banana> "The problem is this reasoning demands catharsis."
<banana> "It is a problem-solving mindset. It is self-inflicted. If we look at Proctor and see a monster, we can stop him, danger to everyone, brings back the bad memories, do something. If we look at Loser and see, ally in trouble, evaluate risk and opportunity, follow the leader. We're making demands of the Wyrd."
<banana> "I want to see a way to be ok with when you pull the lever marked Issue Solution and instead of Solving Issues it Dispenses Dissolution? Like. That would sound better in German."
<CBN> Tony beers her. "You get a problem and you solve the problem."
<CBN> Tony: "And if you can't get a problem, well." Long drink. "That's your problem."
<banana> Melanie: "But, you're right. If you can't get, you're applying solve-the-problem to not-even-an-option." Something seems to have gone wrong with her promise to be clear.
<CBN> Tony: "So you're saying, or are you saying...uhh...think of not having the problem you thought anymore, AS solving the problem?"
<banana> Melanie: "Maybe just.. try to not build things up as a big conflict resolution point, because it won't go the way I imagine in my head?"
<CBN> Tony: "So I shouldn't think of K.I.L.L. as being, as the kids are saying, 'on-sight' if she ever shows up around here again in any way?"
<CBN> "Since it's dissolved or whatever."
<banana> Melanie: "If she comes by when you're on the porch with a shotgun and you manage to wing her in the leg, I will clap."
<banana> "If you didn't want mixed messages, this was too much beer."
<CBN> Tony: "Too much beer is a problem you solve with time and then more beer."
<banana> Melanie: "I propose an alternative catharsis."
<CBN> "But no that seems pretty clear?"
<CBN> Tony: "Go on."
<banana> "If it doesn't go the way we want, we sit around and bitch about it."
<CBN> Tony laughs.
<CBN> "Coach always said you can't play the game you just lost, but, he's probably dead now."
<CBN> "So what's he know anyway?"
<banana> Melanie: "My old coach gets like two million bucks a year because college is a scam."
<CBN> Tony. "Wouldn't know. What's college like?"
<CBN> "Like, in general."
<banana> Melanie waves a can again, more splashily. "Two versions. The first time round it was great.. only go to the classes you like, parties all the time, lots of boys. I had a couple years of that, I think? The dates don't quite line up with what I remember."
<banana> "Now on the other hand I don't get to play anymore but I'm actually learning things? Like someone who isn't a thoughtless moron? And actually gets to have even a basic understanding of the world, which is so big that it's worth.. profusions."
<CBN> Tony: "Yeah but is it fun?"
<banana> In a tone of wonder: "Yes? The research takes about thirty hours a week and I don't even have a topic yet. Half of my cohort are, like, fanatic libertarians and the rest are being ground under tuition and healthcare costs but, for some reason, yes."
<banana> "Do you want to go at some point?"
<CBN> Tony: "Do I have to say anything or can I just sit?"
<CBN> "Also I never got my ged, is that a problem?"
<banana> Melanie: "For undergrad it's a bit like a production line, they expect most students to sit quietly and take notes. You should totally hook up with Nels for studying, she's doing the same thing."
<banana> "You know.. I have a fake undergrad that someone else got, Stewart's the same. You got interrupted in school, Nels was born before schools existed or something? I wouldn't be surprised if they prey on students. People with too-open minds."
<CBN> Tony: "Oh well fuck yeah then. School can probably be fun when you aren't trying to keep an average for eligibility."
<CBN> "That's a theory, I think mine just took me because it saw the varsity jacket and had a type."
<banana> Melanie: "I keep wanting to say weird cliches like 'you get out of it what you put into it'. These days they have like, propaganda about college for seniors, it's big business and a class marker."
<banana> "Bet you could get the Winter Court to pay tuition though. Don't take loans."
<CBN> Tony: "Oh that sucks, I was just gonna go because that's where you play more football. Then I didnt, and now I mow lawns sometimes. Less now that Winter's got me doing shit at least."
<banana> Melanie looks dubious, which is a lot easier after the drinks. "What kind of stuff. I mean shit. I mean stuff."
<CBN> Tony: "Oh I haven't killed anybody yet but I carried a body."
<CBN> "Nothing BAD-bad."
<CBN> "And I was supposed to kill Proctor and the Cambridge guy but, that one was out of our hands."
<banana> Melanie: "That's what you said you didn't wanna be doing anymore..."
<banana> "What are they like in Winter."
<CBN> Tony: "Real sulky and they glare a lot. Which I figured was what we all just do before you guys came around."
<banana> Melanie: "Well, summer court people glare. Sometimes it's sultry, which is nice, but mostly it's because you like.. dug them out of the hole they're hiding in because the season changed and that's a Big Deal. I don't know. I don't, um, regret the choice, we're just.. all weird."
<CBN> Tony: "Yeah I haven't talked to much of the other courts yet, it's like...I already know what table I'm supposed to sit at during lunch, and who I see in my free time, so I don't need to go sit with other people, do I?"
<banana> Melanie waves her arms to make an important point. "This is going to sound reaallllly hypocritical."
<banana> "It's hypocritical, but you're like.. free now to do stuff, in the world. School's out. The Hedge is behind us... I mean it's not.. for some reason we're living here, but there's a door. We, you don't have to be assigned seating anymore or work just to work.. the freehold courts are power, a structural role. They aren't clans."
<banana> "We could go to a club. We could start a band."
<CBN> Tony, more to himself but at a conversational volume: "I could write poetry."
<banana> "Conceivably."
<banana> Melanie: "There's probably someone who reads poetry."
<CBN> Tony: "Hell yeah."
<CBN> Tony tosses another empty in the cardboard box that was somehow just out of sight until now. "Well, I feel less like shit now."
<banana> Melanie: "I'm kind of sleepy. Things are basically okay."
<banana> "It happened but it ended."
<CBN> Tony: "Stuff ended. How about that." Revelatory.
<banana> Seems like a good time to sit down for a while and not do anything.
<banana> Melanie: "Thanks though."